Sploosh
Chapter 5 - We Come in Peace
Written 2010.
The aquatic nightmare was back in position, glaring at them through liquid red eyes. Ford forced his gulp down his throat and did his best not to whimper. This was getting very bad. No sign of the harpoon at all. The only thing between them and it...was Atlantis' Chief Medical Officer, standing up and patting down the goosebumps on his arms. Carson turned, blanched and yet somehow his weapon was lined up right down the dark hole of a quivering throat.
Aiden decided to supply him with some advice. "SHOOT!"
The Beretta hit the deck with a very unmistakeable clatter.
Carson held up his hands, palms out and did nothing. The creature's head stayed still, through its double eyelids continued to blink on and off intermittently. Ford started to rise but Teyla leant over the back of his legs, preventing him from getting very far.
"It would be in your best interests to stay down," the Athosian said in his ear. "I want to see if this can be resolved differently."
"We pissed it off, Teyla! And it's not likely to start talking is it? Unless we've got some sort of universal translator, which I'm pretty sure we don't because it's the wrong century for that."
Teyla frowned for a moment then dismissed it off as another strange Earth reference she didn't understand. "There are many things neither of us can expect in this situation, but consider that weapons have done very little in our favour. Let us wait a moment."
The clatter of approaching marines caught her attention and she quickly sat up to look around, making sure the creature had not reacted yet. Back-up was usually a good thing, especially in a Wraith ambush, but it would only serve to send more people to the infirmary and give others a lingering cold for a few weeks.
"Tell them to hold their position," Teyla cautioned into the radio.
Sheppard's query hissed in reply. "Are you sure, Teyla?"
"Major Sheppard, I believe you put me in charge of this situation. I am suggesting that we wait."
"You've got a minute. Make it count."
Carson Beckett was not having a fantastic day. He thought he could trace it to the moment he'd jolted awake at four in the morning, staring up at the ceiling and realising that he'd set his alarm too early. Then there was that business with Zelenka and Ford. Now this.
He was standing eyeball to fang with a glistening grey behemoth. Puffs of hot air touched his palms and Carson bent his fingers slightly, but didn't lower his hands.
"Oh, uh, hullo," he ventured.
The monster's tail thrashed but its head remained motionless. Simultaneously trying to swallow and hold his breath, Carson looked through his trembling fingers at the beast.
"I suppose...you're wondering what all this fuss is about," he continued nervously. "Frankly, I'd rather be in bed right about now, but for all this nonsense. I don't want to shoot you – I'm not sure I can."
Metal creaked and groaned as the large head dipped, resting on the pier. It whuffed indifferently in his face before rolling out an snot-coloured tongue that slapped over the surface, hosing a mixture of cold sea water and potent slime over the doctor. Carson gnawed on his tongue to keep from sneezing. He figured blowing all that back over the creature probably wasn't a good idea.
Instead, he risked lowering his hands. "And, well, it's not as if you can really understand me, is it? But you should go. Go before they kill you. Not that they could. Go and there's no need for any of this."
It leaned forward slowly and its tongue flicked out, lapping over Carson's hair – much to his dismay. Long tendrils of slime dropped over the doctor's eyes. He grimaced.
"Go, Nessie," he murmured.
Fangs snapped and the tongue retracted, followed by a low howl that flooded vibrations from the floor of the pier up through Beckett's spine. Spinning, he saw a cluster of marines bearing down on him, firearms trained over his head.
"Don't!" Carson shouted, throwing his arms out in front of the creature. "Let it go!"
The Loch Ness Monster sloshed back into the ocean, throwing up arcs of white-frayed water. A bright blue circle exploded into being just beneath the simmering sea. Carson ran forward and leaned over the edge, squinting down, seeing nothing but the event horizon swirling below. No vague shapes or even indistinct shadows. A few seconds later, the water became dark once more.
"Dude, you stink," Aiden Ford remarked, walking to stand beside him. "Didn't anyone tell you not to talk to strangers?"
"Yes thank you, Lieutenant," Carson fired back. "That's exactly what I needed to hear. No gratitude for my work! What did I expect?"
Ford sniggered and patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, doc. Let's get you cleaned up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's gone for now," Rodney announced into the still tension of the control room.
Sheppard leaned onto the bank of Rodney's chair and stared down at the screen. "And you're sure? This isn't going to be one of those nasty little surprises we can't stop getting?"
The scientist wiggled in his chair to throw off his team mate and swiped his finger over the touch pad of the laptop. Everyone's eyes followed the movement closely until Rodney abruptly snapped the laptop shut. He reiterated, "I'm not finding anything on the sensors. If you subscribe to the ludicrous Loch Ness theory, then I'd say we're out of trouble. But in my opinion, it's not far away and it is better to be prepared the next time it tries to drown us…!"
"All we needed was to do was talk to it?" Elizabeth mused over the top of him.
Rodney's face twisted. "Oh yes. Right. Like it understood anything Carson was telling it."
"And how would you do it, McKay?" John wanted to know. "Nothing says 'we come in peace' like a P90?"
"Look who's talking!" Rodney shot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some days later, there were sufficiently less bedraggled patients needing attention, though a few were on restrictive duties for an extra week or so. John Sheppard nodded to those still waylaid from his own bed, which he didn't need but decided that the plastic chairs were too uncomfortable to use.
The Chief Medical Officer walked briskly over and ducked down a bit to swipe his hands over John's limb. He asked, "How's the ankle, Major?"
"Hasn't twinged in a couple of days, so I figure I'm in the clear."
John waggled his foot for emphasis.
"Aye, only you could be so lucky," Carson allowed darkly. "Well then, I see no other reason for your shadow to darken the infirmary. Until another time, I suppose."
Leaping off the bed and landing solidly on both feet, Sheppard chortled, "Don't sound so happy there. I could send Ford down to check up on you."
"You wouldn't. Besides, the Lieutenant has been kind enough to give me a wide berth. Not to mention the last of his coffee stash. Any conflict between us has settled for the moment."
Conceding that he'd lost this particular weapon, John shrugged. He patted the doctor on the arm on his way past, slowed and turned back. "Glad to hear it. Ford's not a bad kid."
"When he is not following the lead of his superior, I gather."
"Would I do that?"
"Major, I can get a gun and I'd know how to use it," Carson told him firmly.
John grinned. "Atta boy, Beckett."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright, pay up."
Dr Radek Zelenka smoothed a sheet of paper over his desk at an unworried pace. He took his time in formulating his words. "Rodney, there you are. We've had some reports from Doctor Gaul about – "
Advancing menacingly on his colleague, Rodney stopped on the other side of the desk. He crossed his arms and gave Zelenka his best disapproving smirk. The Czech scientist touched two fingers to the side of his glasses, shifting them up his nose. Rodney tilted his head to the side and scowled. "You told me if I begged you'd give me some lemon-free chocolate. After the indignity of begging to an amateur like you, I believe I am entitled to all of it. I shouldn't have to ask."
"Oh. That." Zelenka snorted. "McKay, I regret I have given it away while you were busy with the Loch Ness Monster."
"To who?!"
"Major Sheppard sustained an injury. I thought he was in more need of it."
"This…" Rodney paused. "This isn't over, Zelenka."
"Tell me something I do not know. But Rodney, can we forget this for just a few moments please…?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elizabeth tapped her knees, trying to ignore the ache pulling along her calves from sitting cross-legged for so long. After casting a rueful look to the woman beside her, Elizabeth focused her gaze on the candle three metres from her ankles. The tiny flame lengthened in the silence, tall and straight. Unwavering. The leader of Atlantis wished she could make herself like that.
"You are uncomfortable," Teyla noted without opening her eyes.
Weir released a breath, slumping slightly. Even though the Athosian's quarters were by no means cramped, claustrophobia had settled over her shoulders. "Is it that obvious?"
"To the untrained eye, perhaps not. There are many distractions in our position."
"At least with yoga I'm not at a complete standstill," Elizabeth pointed out. "Thank you for the lesson, but I think I'll stick to that from now on."
Teyla's eyes slipped open and she stretched her arms in front of her, before settling them across her lap, palms upward. She acknowledged, "I understand. Sometimes even this form of meditation can erode my patience. Are there any particular distractions that are bothering you?"
The discarded headset on the floor whined. Elizabeth scooped it up.
"Yes, Rodney," she said without pause.
"Where are you, no one's been able to contact you for an hour - that's not the point. I've discovered…" A different voice twittered in the background and McKay snapped, "Listen, credit goes to the entire department – fine, fine. If it means that much to you – Dr Gaul has discovered an Ancient satellite."
Elizabeth uncrossed her legs and drew her knees up, while resting the headset against her chin. Taking a moment, she contemplated the candle. The light swerved and flickered. She sighed. "This concerns us how?"
"What – are you kidding?" Rodney demanded. "A piece of sophisticated technology floating in space ready for the taking and you want to ask questions like that?"
"Rodney...if it means that much to you, of course you can go check it out."
Teyla rose from her position, leaning over to blow out a few candles. Elizabeth quickly licked her thumb and forefinger before closing them over the flame in front of her. It dissolved with a muted hiss. Both women stood by the door, surveying the lazy puffing of the candles as they smoked out.
"I'm the leader of this expedition," Elizabeth told her companion. "I can't allow myself to be distracted."
"I will also guard myself from such distractions," Teyla said with a knowing smile.
Elizabeth arched an eyebrow in response.
Aiden decided to supply him with some advice. "SHOOT!"
The Beretta hit the deck with a very unmistakeable clatter.
Carson held up his hands, palms out and did nothing. The creature's head stayed still, through its double eyelids continued to blink on and off intermittently. Ford started to rise but Teyla leant over the back of his legs, preventing him from getting very far.
"It would be in your best interests to stay down," the Athosian said in his ear. "I want to see if this can be resolved differently."
"We pissed it off, Teyla! And it's not likely to start talking is it? Unless we've got some sort of universal translator, which I'm pretty sure we don't because it's the wrong century for that."
Teyla frowned for a moment then dismissed it off as another strange Earth reference she didn't understand. "There are many things neither of us can expect in this situation, but consider that weapons have done very little in our favour. Let us wait a moment."
The clatter of approaching marines caught her attention and she quickly sat up to look around, making sure the creature had not reacted yet. Back-up was usually a good thing, especially in a Wraith ambush, but it would only serve to send more people to the infirmary and give others a lingering cold for a few weeks.
"Tell them to hold their position," Teyla cautioned into the radio.
Sheppard's query hissed in reply. "Are you sure, Teyla?"
"Major Sheppard, I believe you put me in charge of this situation. I am suggesting that we wait."
"You've got a minute. Make it count."
Carson Beckett was not having a fantastic day. He thought he could trace it to the moment he'd jolted awake at four in the morning, staring up at the ceiling and realising that he'd set his alarm too early. Then there was that business with Zelenka and Ford. Now this.
He was standing eyeball to fang with a glistening grey behemoth. Puffs of hot air touched his palms and Carson bent his fingers slightly, but didn't lower his hands.
"Oh, uh, hullo," he ventured.
The monster's tail thrashed but its head remained motionless. Simultaneously trying to swallow and hold his breath, Carson looked through his trembling fingers at the beast.
"I suppose...you're wondering what all this fuss is about," he continued nervously. "Frankly, I'd rather be in bed right about now, but for all this nonsense. I don't want to shoot you – I'm not sure I can."
Metal creaked and groaned as the large head dipped, resting on the pier. It whuffed indifferently in his face before rolling out an snot-coloured tongue that slapped over the surface, hosing a mixture of cold sea water and potent slime over the doctor. Carson gnawed on his tongue to keep from sneezing. He figured blowing all that back over the creature probably wasn't a good idea.
Instead, he risked lowering his hands. "And, well, it's not as if you can really understand me, is it? But you should go. Go before they kill you. Not that they could. Go and there's no need for any of this."
It leaned forward slowly and its tongue flicked out, lapping over Carson's hair – much to his dismay. Long tendrils of slime dropped over the doctor's eyes. He grimaced.
"Go, Nessie," he murmured.
Fangs snapped and the tongue retracted, followed by a low howl that flooded vibrations from the floor of the pier up through Beckett's spine. Spinning, he saw a cluster of marines bearing down on him, firearms trained over his head.
"Don't!" Carson shouted, throwing his arms out in front of the creature. "Let it go!"
The Loch Ness Monster sloshed back into the ocean, throwing up arcs of white-frayed water. A bright blue circle exploded into being just beneath the simmering sea. Carson ran forward and leaned over the edge, squinting down, seeing nothing but the event horizon swirling below. No vague shapes or even indistinct shadows. A few seconds later, the water became dark once more.
"Dude, you stink," Aiden Ford remarked, walking to stand beside him. "Didn't anyone tell you not to talk to strangers?"
"Yes thank you, Lieutenant," Carson fired back. "That's exactly what I needed to hear. No gratitude for my work! What did I expect?"
Ford sniggered and patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, doc. Let's get you cleaned up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's gone for now," Rodney announced into the still tension of the control room.
Sheppard leaned onto the bank of Rodney's chair and stared down at the screen. "And you're sure? This isn't going to be one of those nasty little surprises we can't stop getting?"
The scientist wiggled in his chair to throw off his team mate and swiped his finger over the touch pad of the laptop. Everyone's eyes followed the movement closely until Rodney abruptly snapped the laptop shut. He reiterated, "I'm not finding anything on the sensors. If you subscribe to the ludicrous Loch Ness theory, then I'd say we're out of trouble. But in my opinion, it's not far away and it is better to be prepared the next time it tries to drown us…!"
"All we needed was to do was talk to it?" Elizabeth mused over the top of him.
Rodney's face twisted. "Oh yes. Right. Like it understood anything Carson was telling it."
"And how would you do it, McKay?" John wanted to know. "Nothing says 'we come in peace' like a P90?"
"Look who's talking!" Rodney shot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some days later, there were sufficiently less bedraggled patients needing attention, though a few were on restrictive duties for an extra week or so. John Sheppard nodded to those still waylaid from his own bed, which he didn't need but decided that the plastic chairs were too uncomfortable to use.
The Chief Medical Officer walked briskly over and ducked down a bit to swipe his hands over John's limb. He asked, "How's the ankle, Major?"
"Hasn't twinged in a couple of days, so I figure I'm in the clear."
John waggled his foot for emphasis.
"Aye, only you could be so lucky," Carson allowed darkly. "Well then, I see no other reason for your shadow to darken the infirmary. Until another time, I suppose."
Leaping off the bed and landing solidly on both feet, Sheppard chortled, "Don't sound so happy there. I could send Ford down to check up on you."
"You wouldn't. Besides, the Lieutenant has been kind enough to give me a wide berth. Not to mention the last of his coffee stash. Any conflict between us has settled for the moment."
Conceding that he'd lost this particular weapon, John shrugged. He patted the doctor on the arm on his way past, slowed and turned back. "Glad to hear it. Ford's not a bad kid."
"When he is not following the lead of his superior, I gather."
"Would I do that?"
"Major, I can get a gun and I'd know how to use it," Carson told him firmly.
John grinned. "Atta boy, Beckett."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright, pay up."
Dr Radek Zelenka smoothed a sheet of paper over his desk at an unworried pace. He took his time in formulating his words. "Rodney, there you are. We've had some reports from Doctor Gaul about – "
Advancing menacingly on his colleague, Rodney stopped on the other side of the desk. He crossed his arms and gave Zelenka his best disapproving smirk. The Czech scientist touched two fingers to the side of his glasses, shifting them up his nose. Rodney tilted his head to the side and scowled. "You told me if I begged you'd give me some lemon-free chocolate. After the indignity of begging to an amateur like you, I believe I am entitled to all of it. I shouldn't have to ask."
"Oh. That." Zelenka snorted. "McKay, I regret I have given it away while you were busy with the Loch Ness Monster."
"To who?!"
"Major Sheppard sustained an injury. I thought he was in more need of it."
"This…" Rodney paused. "This isn't over, Zelenka."
"Tell me something I do not know. But Rodney, can we forget this for just a few moments please…?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elizabeth tapped her knees, trying to ignore the ache pulling along her calves from sitting cross-legged for so long. After casting a rueful look to the woman beside her, Elizabeth focused her gaze on the candle three metres from her ankles. The tiny flame lengthened in the silence, tall and straight. Unwavering. The leader of Atlantis wished she could make herself like that.
"You are uncomfortable," Teyla noted without opening her eyes.
Weir released a breath, slumping slightly. Even though the Athosian's quarters were by no means cramped, claustrophobia had settled over her shoulders. "Is it that obvious?"
"To the untrained eye, perhaps not. There are many distractions in our position."
"At least with yoga I'm not at a complete standstill," Elizabeth pointed out. "Thank you for the lesson, but I think I'll stick to that from now on."
Teyla's eyes slipped open and she stretched her arms in front of her, before settling them across her lap, palms upward. She acknowledged, "I understand. Sometimes even this form of meditation can erode my patience. Are there any particular distractions that are bothering you?"
The discarded headset on the floor whined. Elizabeth scooped it up.
"Yes, Rodney," she said without pause.
"Where are you, no one's been able to contact you for an hour - that's not the point. I've discovered…" A different voice twittered in the background and McKay snapped, "Listen, credit goes to the entire department – fine, fine. If it means that much to you – Dr Gaul has discovered an Ancient satellite."
Elizabeth uncrossed her legs and drew her knees up, while resting the headset against her chin. Taking a moment, she contemplated the candle. The light swerved and flickered. She sighed. "This concerns us how?"
"What – are you kidding?" Rodney demanded. "A piece of sophisticated technology floating in space ready for the taking and you want to ask questions like that?"
"Rodney...if it means that much to you, of course you can go check it out."
Teyla rose from her position, leaning over to blow out a few candles. Elizabeth quickly licked her thumb and forefinger before closing them over the flame in front of her. It dissolved with a muted hiss. Both women stood by the door, surveying the lazy puffing of the candles as they smoked out.
"I'm the leader of this expedition," Elizabeth told her companion. "I can't allow myself to be distracted."
"I will also guard myself from such distractions," Teyla said with a knowing smile.
Elizabeth arched an eyebrow in response.