Portal Trip - Diary of Carl
Chapter 4 - Two Disasters
Today I was confronted by Van Helsing who demanded to know the last time I ate. My stomach cared to remind me of its empty state at the same moment. I was required to spend the day being force fed. I will delay my portal tripping until tomorrow.
MY POOR INNOCENT MIND!!!!!!!!!
Dear God, my mind has been most grievously harmed.
What do you think Van Helsing’s long hair implies?
No don’t answer that.
Now that I am sufficiently calmed, I will recount the events of the previous day’s ventures. Must I remember...?
Only my attachment to this cause will ensure that I record this. I was able to gather that my surroundings were different from that of the place I have been returning to for the past few trips. Some questioning (with those who did not glare evilly at me) placed me in the country of Australia. I waited for the appearance of Van Helsing, knowing that whatever I did he’d be around anyway.
Thankfully, there were no hot dog stands anywhere in sight. There was, however, a fully suited banana called B1 following me.
I found Van Helsing soon enough. I assumed by what he was wearing he was in costume. My...ah...assumptions based on the banana costume proved incorrect. Ah...um...let’s just say this Van Helsing...to borrow a phrase from someone I became instant friends with in my grief...is “batting for the other team”.
Oh God. How will I ever look him in the eye again?
I decided to squeeze in another portal trip in an attempt to uplift my spirits. I did not want to be confronted with the most uplifted bunch of people I’ve ever seen...I mean heard...Really, must they every five minutes start singing loudly,
“Oh, what a beautiful mornin',
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I got a beautiful feelin'
Ev'rything's goin' my way.”
Ah! I will have nightmares for weeks! I was unable to decipher most of what they were saying. Honestly, who says “pore Jud is daid”? Mindful of my last encounter, I was wary around Van Helsing. I hardly recognised him under that tragic hair style. I tried to make my retreat, but a banana called B2 chased me towards the centre of the mob.
Upon close inspection of Van Helsing, decided that I was not going to receive any sort of proper respect. I think I’m going to lie down...maybe drown myself in liquor...
I have been humming the songs encountered around my Van Helsing for six hours now. I have been glared at several hundreds of times. I have made a frightening discovery. While attempting to sing, I was confronted by Van Helsing who demanded where the song was from.
“It sounds familiar,” he explained. “I think I dreamed it once.”
Perhaps he is at the crossroads of all portals...something to look into...
I have concluded that Van Helsing must like women. He’s never showed any interest towards men...ah...I hope it never happens here.
Overall, two disasters that have dampened my spirits somewhat.