Harry Scarface Potter
Chapter 3 - System Failure, Labtam and the Evil Plan
The cupboard under the stairs had become cluttered with a good deal of online purchased stuff. It looked like an ordinary storage space from the outside with a small grate on the little door. However, inside it lived up to a totally different standard. The boy inside was known on the Internet as Harry Scarface Potter and, at last, the unfortunate temper of computers had caught up with him.
The system crashed.
Looking extremely like a fish out of water, Harry could only gaze helplessly at the confused screen and trap at it angrily. It had stuffed up - just before he'd added the story to his favourites list. Bugger. The annoying blue error shade came across. Harry settled for pressing "off". It didn't, so he had to resort to pulling the innocent black plug. And Pentium 4s were supposed to be top stuff. Pah.
He was sorely tempted to use his wand. Why oh why couldn't the Ministry of Magic just let him fix this without getting expelled? Harry got irritated; when Harry gets irritated he talks to his mobile phone about his problems. Well, not the phone as such...
"Labtam Computer Help, how may I help you?"
"It's my computer." Harry was near tears. "It's not working!"
This was costing him money, money which could be used on a funky hair style he'd seen in a picture of Draco Malfoy randomly inserted on the official Harry Potter website.
"You've rung the right place...oh, sorry. Please hold."
Chirpy music twittered through the earpiece. It was a short ballad, only a few seconds and tended to have five seconds of silence before replaying. Harry passed the time by making his computer comfortable - i.e., getting pina collades from the fridge, piling on the pillows etc etc. He even tried singing to it, but found himself nastily humming out the "please hold" music.
Twenty minutes later...
"Labtam Computer Help, sorry to keep you waiting. What is the problem?"
Harry shot a sad look at his self-confessed best mate. "I was just on the Internet and the computer froze. Then it went all multi coloured and weird, before freezing on an error message."
"Simple. Virus - one of those crazy ones going around the Internet at the moment. You probably got spiked. Apprently it comes from some hacker called 'Sassy Hogwarts Gal'."
"But what do I do!" Harry asked tragically, completely missing the use of "Hogwarts".
"Get a new computer. Now excuse me, I've got my boyfriend from Spain on hold. Have a nice day and glad to be of service."
The line went dead.
Harry had seen people die before. But not a computer. He sulked for days upstairs in his bedroom. Cedric Diggory, he'd been able to deal with. He'd barely known the guy. Sirius, his godfather, that had been a hard blow but he'd been able to take his mind off it. No computer! No Internet! And worst of all...no fanfiction, WizardBuys, MSN OR the stock market. He had tried doing his homework to no success. He wanted to get on the Internet NOW!
To try to forget about the Internet, Harry took to listening to the news however possible. Not as reliable as CNN and all those other worldly news sites. It was one such night he heard Uncle Vernon talking about some financial trouble he was in...
"The ruddy bank account's in debt," Uncle Vernon rumbled from inside the living room, dissatisfied.
Aunt Petunia did not reply, mainly because she was looking out the window to see if the neighbours were up to anything interesting or perhaps if Harry was out there. Uncle Vernon continued, "Digits keep going backwards on the bank statements. If I didn't know better, Petunia dear, I'd say someone was robbing the account."
"It's lucky that the company has been making profits..."
Company? Grunnings! Of course! Harry suddenly got a very evil idea. It involved Internet Cafes, WizardBuys and money withdrawal. You had to admire the simplest plans, really.
A simple plan gone wrong. Harry got distracted by fanfiction, as any addict would. He saw an almost innocent story title - Romance That Never Was. The summary was somewhere along the lines of your usual dramatic romance.
Curiously, though, it had: WARNING: SLASH and wolfshipping. R/S
Well, he didn't mind Ron Weasley/Severus Snape fics. Harry thought they were cute. Sometimes. Little did he know...
As it transpired, however, the story was a cute little Remus Lupin/Sirius Black fic set back in, as the author put it, "the good ole Marauder times". This kept Harry distracted from his evil plans for a week and all 85 chapters. It also distracted him more by inspiring him to write more of his OMG UNCLE VERNON HAS MAGIC story.
Enough of the sidetracks. Harry was supposed to go to Mrs Figg's house for one of those baby sitting sessions where, according to some fanfic authors, the old squib would suddenly became a very young and sexy witch who so happens to be engaged to brought-back-to-life Sirius Black who couldn't remember dying at all. Wanting nothing to do this and being sure that it would come true and scar him for life, Harry never made it anywhere near Wisteria Walk.
He found a nice secluded Internet Cafe where you could pay more for separate cubicles with computer which actually half-worked. Immediately, he went onto WizardBuys and clicked the link. The slight wizard appeared, as usual.
"Not you again," the Underage Wizard Help employee groaned. "What is it this time? World domination?"
Harry got out a notepad. "No, but thanks for the idea." He wrote it down and put it aside. "Anyway, I need to get money out of a Muggle company and make them go broke. Then, I buy all their shares, become director and pump the money back in."
The employee demanded, "Why aren't you a Death Eater, huh? You're too smart to be on the other side. Plus, you'd get delivery in half an hour, not three."
Harry pointed to his scar, which he usually hid under black hair extensions.
"Oh." The employee sighed. "That's why. Better get to work then."