Not Another Chair Story
Story 8 - Not So Little Boys Pt 2
Written 2009-present.
Several hours earlier
A small but charming sea-side apartment
Atlantis
Laura Cadman peered into the corridor outside her quarters. She bit the corner of her lip as darkness continued to stare defiantly back at her. Today was one of those blindingly beautiful days with enough sea breeze to wash out any residual heat. She'd woken up in a patch of light and had immediately decided to take a slow burn jog down to her contraband stash and back. She wasn't due to report in until the evening. The night shifts agreed very much with her night owl predisposition – and her plans to run Zelenka out of town.
It wasn't like she'd specifically targeted the guy. She liked him. He had a killer castling move in chess which she respected him for. But Laura always appreciated chocolate at least five days out of twenty-eight and it had appalled her to hear about the prices being charged.
So she decided to put her stash to good use. And then more, as the Daedalus zipped between galaxies.
Now, faced with a pitch-black and ominous scene outside her quarters, Laura figured she should have expected this. The sun was already clearing the horizon at her window, so chances were there wasn't a different time zone awaiting her on another side of the door.
"Okay, I think someone around here needs to grow up – and not McKay, surprisingly," she said evenly, before retrieving the night vision goggles she stashed in her bathroom cabinet next to some Swiss chocolate (all medicinal supplies, naturally).
Laura tiptoed down the corridor with ease. Her next little problem announced itself in the form of a locked sliding door, which she was pretty sure hadn't existed last night. Slipping her fingers over the panel and wondering why she hadn't bothered to learn how to pick Lantean locks, the Lieutenant knew that if she didn't deal with this now, the rest of her day would suck.
Her first clue was a digitised tinkle of mirth hovering in the sound system above her head.
Laura Cadman raised her eyes to the panelling and simply smiled.
It took no more than two minutes to locate her personal stash of contraband – decidedly less edible and a lot more explosive. She'd barely started wiring up the door when it opened, blinding her with a bland green light until she ripped off her goggles.
Some girls play with ponies. Some half-human half-Ancient girls play with citywide circuits they really shouldn't. Laura Cadman had blown up a letterbox at the age of six.
"I think I know how this goes," Laura said conversationally to the walls that led into the bowels of the city. "You feel sorry for the little guy and want to protect him from the new kid on the block. I totally get that. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
...except to my main supply, she thought and burst into a dead run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some hours later
A dark and scary cave
M4B-1313
"I have plenty of experience with camping. When Jeannie and I were kids, Dad used to take us out to a lake – very nice – but I wasn't too good at the tenting thing, but anyway, one year there was this other family staying there. There was this cute girl – Annie, I think her name was. We spent a lot of time reading together but we never got to the kissing stage because I had this one bad experience in Algebra club – "
"Where you caught mono," chorused three bored individuals.
Rodney scowled, though in the poor lighting from a tiny torch pilfered from his BDU no one had to suffer much of it. "Fine, but what I meant was...this is a dark cave and we don't even know what lives here but judging by the smell – which I'm sure seems normal to the resident caveman – it's not something we want to hang around for."
The resident caveman dropped a heavy hand over the light, masking it completely. Ronon leaned in and suggested in a growl, "You can go out to the Wraith if you don't like it."
Silence enjoyed a brief reign.
"I'm more worried about what they're doing here," Elizabeth mused. "They can't have spotted us, or we'd be captured by now."
Ford made an off-hand grunt from his position on the other side of a boulder. He hadn't spoken much, though once the thin beam of light had fallen across him to reveal him wetting his lips with a trembling tongue. Carson had moved beside him, but did not appear to need to render aid.
"Aye, I can think of too many lovely things they have planned," the CMO muttered, keeping a firm grip on Meredith who sat beside him.
"I feel so useless," Elizabeth said more to herself. "We don't even know if the 'gate is free or if they'll find our camp..."
"Can't just hang around here," Ronon said. "I'd rather take a stun blast to the face than listen to another of McKay's stories."
Rodney McKay, having had his fair share of aforementioned stun blasts, crossed his arms and tipped his head to one side and spitted Ronon with his best snark attack expression. After a few seconds, it sunk in that A) no one could see any face in the dark and B) Rodney really didn't want the Satedan to be privy to that particular story. He chose to stare impassively ahead.
Ford flashed up his own light into their faces as he stood. He stuck a finger in his mouth then held it up in the air, one eye closed. After a moment, he pointed down one end of the tunnel. "Yeah, I'd rather head to where the air is coming from than stay here."
Elizabeth pressed the tips of her fingers together and bounced her hands in her lap. Her concentration had taken a dive with the arrival of those dreaded ships shooting overhead and she'd lost even more of what focus she might have had while running over tree trunks before she plunged into a cave that no one had the time to search in for creepy crawlies.
"Alright, let's go," she said and left it at that.
"Wait, wait, aren't we going to take a vote?" Rodney demanded.
Ronon slapped his shoulder. "Three out of five. Let's go."
A beautific smile rendered itself across the scientist's face. "I count two Merediths, so my vote counts for two and I say we stay here instead of running out to meet our impending doom."
"I thought ye didnae like wee spaces like this," Carson said suspiciously, making sure he positioned his body to block the big grin Meredith suddenly sported.
"Slowly closing-in walls, lack of oxygen, dehydration and dwindling sustenance versus misplacing my head and limbs, but only if I'm lucky that they don't want to take the best years of my life?"
"Rodney, your vanity is the least of our problems," Elizabeth said, striding over to stand above him. "And I cannot let you stay here."
Ronon added to the effect, his height bringing him up near the top of the cave. The movement dislodged the torch from the Satedan's grasp and light shone over Rodney's upturned face and the deepening lines around his mouth. Elizabeth held out a hand. He took it.
Meredith's smile opened into the beginnings of a laugh, so Carson quickly distracted his lass by lifting her up quickly to nestle against him.
"Da," she mumbled into his ear to get his attention.
His eyes followed hers to where Rodney was sulking off to one side, clearly visible as Ford drew crazy lines around him on the cave wall with his flashlight.
"Aye," Carson agreed. "Daft buggers."
He wondered if his daughter also saw Elizabeth's smile quickly slip behind a pinched expression. Guessing that stranger things had happened, and knowing Nena would laugh at him about it later, Carson sent his own chuckle into the beyond. Ronon pushed by him and commented quietly, "He hasn't nailed it yet."
Carson choked.
"Do ye suppose he knows the meaning of that?" he asked his daughter in concern.
Meredith smiled into his neck.
Following the pinprick of light that Aiden flicked around the tunnel ahead, all of them traipsed into the unknown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1415
A corridor on the South Pier
Atlantis
Radek Zelenka knew his days were numbered. Any human does – or at least one who does not intend to get pointy canines installed sometime in the near future. A black garbage bag containing all sorts of caffeinated delights was wildly bobbing over his shoulder as he raced after his two compatriots in an attempt to escape the Wrath of Cadman. At least they had managed to retain their socks – Radek was down to the soles of his feet and he rather wished he wasn't wondering where his own socks had gone.
Bates froze and held up a hand. Lorne skidded a few steps ahead, throwing back a raised eyebrow. Grateful for the break, Radek threw down the bag and grumbled, "I feel a little like a less fortunate Svatý Mikuláš."
"Who?" Evan enquired.
"He means Santa Claus," Bates explained curtly, swivelling his head in each possible direction. "We need to split up. Most of the stash is dealt with anyway but no one wants to be caught holding the bag when Cadman shows up."
"Or Colonel Sheppard..." Zelenka realised, remembering the mad slide through the main thoroughfare.
Evan Lorne, leaning against the wall and lacking any moisture across his forehead, chuckled. Unhurriedly stepping on the toes of each sock so he could yank each foot free, he then tossed the pair into an undignified pile not too far from Zelenka.
"And your point is...?" invited Sgt. Bates on Radek's behalf, as the Czech was staring down at the articles of clothing with a mixture of blank acceptance and annoyed disbelief.
"Sheppard's like one of the guys," Lorne said with grin. "He'll get it. Besides, even if he had half the know-how of Doctor Weir, he still wouldn't find out what's going on."
An eery harmony quavered through the air, making all three men stare down the corridor apprehensively. Seconds passed before someone, who shall remain nameless, instantly recognised it as one highly popular contribution to music by a boy band.
Zelenka quietly scooped up his sack of goodies and began inching further down the hall. Lorne tilted his head at him questioningly. The scientist tightly held his eyes on the distant patch of light that escaped through a window down the corridor, and those same eyes widened when a shadow blurred into an outline.
"Hello, boys!" called Laura Cadman.
"Oh shit!" Bates exclaimed and turned around to find that he was several metres behind Zelenka and Lorne in the retreat. "Scatter! SCATTER!"
They scattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1430
Outside a transporter
South Pier
"Lieutenant Cadman, please check in," John ordered into the mouthpiece that curved around his jaw.
He thought it would be helpful to use a headset instead of a handheld radio, but so far it had only made him look like one of those child Jango clones. And Cadman hadn't given him any kind of response, which made him feel like he was addressing thin air, except for the fact that beside him were the seemingly unconcerned pair of women who gave him the most trouble in his life.
Nena pressed a hand over a nearby panel, muttered under her breath and stepped back as it spat out a shiny chrome device. She held it out to John. "This will help us listen to their conversations."
"Is that going to help?" John asked dubiously, twisting aside his mouthpiece.
Teyla played intermediary as she forced it into her CO's hand. She said flatly, "If Meredith is responsible for causing this, then perhaps she allowed those working with her some means of avoiding any of our transmissions."
"Cadman's in on it too?" John demanded.
Nena shook her head.
John glowered.
Laura Cadman rounded the corner and waved at them, quickly turning the gesture into a snappy salute. "I believe I can answer that myself, sir. This morning I got locked up near my room and then found my..." She paused, looking for the appropriate words – preferably not 'black market stash'. "...belongings had been misplaced. Since Zelenka has been sneaking around lately, I pegged him as the culprit. In fact, I'd just lost track of where he was going when you people showed up."
John Sheppard found his back against the wall with three women advancing on his previously secure position. Naturally, he panicked. Then he remembered that he was Head Honcho for a couple of days so this really shouldn't happen. His hand flipped back through his hair in an attempt for indifference and John injected a stiff posture to increase his presence.
"This has to stop," he said.
No one disagreed and, just as John was about to continue with a resounding pep talk, the Ancient communication deceive that had dipped into his palm like it belonged there gave a short burst of sound.
"Okay, Santa Claus, where the hell are you?" Bates' voice growled. "We've been waiting for ten minutes."
A pause, then Zelenka responded, "Ah well, slight problem. Lt. Cadman followed me."
"She caught you?" came Lorne's incredulous tones.
"Ne, not yet, but is only a matter of time! I need you to activate Meredith's back-up."
"We should probably warn Sheppard that we're cutting off the power."
"Lorne, shut up," Bates snapped back. "This is war. Santa, if we don't see you in five minutes, we'll move to a location that you won't find, much less be able to worm your way into. Power goes off in an hour."
Nena closed her eyes. All watched her. After a moment, John cleared his throat and the city's sentience smiled brightly towards him. "Meredith has used Radek's chess subroutine to reconfigure the power settings."
"Killer castling move," Laura said, more to herself.
Seizing the opportunity to sneak out through a gap of limbs belonging to his attackers, John paced briefly and flattened his hair down to his ears. He wished he had Elizabeth's desk for a barrier or at least her best stonewall expression. Whipping back around, he said, "Okay. Nena, can you change the settings?"
"No," Nena answered, frustration falling across her face. "It is an ingenious program, for a human."
"Perhaps Doctor Zelenka can be convinced to deactivate it permanently," Teyla suggested.
Laura twisted her fingers together and various knuckles cracked. "And by 'convinced', I'm hoping you mean something a little more fun than chasing him around the South Pier."
"Aggressive negotiations," John advocated. "Nena, can you pull sound bites of Bates and make up some sort of message for Zelenka to follow?"
"Ooh, I haven't tried that yet."
"That's a yes then. Cadman, take out Zelenka."
"Yes, sir."
Teyla crossed her arms and waited.
John did not disappoint. "Teyla, you're with me. I don't know how just yet, but we need to figure out where Bates and Lorne are holed up."
"Does this require asking personnel questions they'd rather avoid?"
"Sure."
"I believe we should begin with the gate technicians."
Most corridors of Atlantis are lit enough to blind any unsuspecting soul awakening without coffee to find that they are due to report in and have yet to locate their shirt. So, of course, John was suddenly wary as shadows formed in the nooks of his team mate's smile.
"Er, Teyla, this isn't that much of a big deal," John reminded her.
Teyla curled her arm around his and continued to smile in that scary way as she pulled him into the transporter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1500
Sekrit Wraith lab
M4B-1313
Pure accident can be construed as fate – or as one of those little ironies involved in the action of trying to move further away from space vampires but instead ending up heading towards them. The irony was not lost on Elizabeth Weir, whose tenuous position as off-world team leader meant that her judgement was supposed to result in everyone finding their way back home in time for dinner...preferably in one piece. Or two, maybe.
Pure dismay was Elizabeth's feeling of choice when the tunnel climbed up into a cavern that seemed to throb and roll like green muck, thanks to the twisted lantern-esque lights struck up and down the walls, tucked around screens crawling with Wraith text. A table or so, made of a gnarled material that probably had ended its life in pain, took up the rest of the space against the rock forming the structure.
"Because this isn't creepy at all," Ford said and everyone skirted their gazes about the place uncertainly.
Well, everyone except Ronon who deliberately leaned against the side and idly flicked one of the lights with his fingernails.
"What are we looking at?" Elizabeth asked.
"Something none too pleasant, I'd wager if I did sech things," Carson murmured, stroking his hand against Meredith's back.
"It's a lab," Rodney deduced. "Whatever they're making here is causing problems downstream."
"Like sewage in the water?" Aiden ventured.
Ronon shrugged, tipping his head forward to obscure his true expression. "There are worse things."
Pondering this for a moment, Elizabeth sighed. But then she studied the Satedan's hunching profile and realised he was very right on that account. She couldn't begin to imagine those 'worse things'. Her lips tightened back into her cheeks to hide her smile when she wondered if being trapped in a Puddlejumper with Rodney was worse than an environmental disaster.
"I'm not disagreeing," she said at last, "but it would help if we knew what we were up against."
"Too bad my Wraith's a little rusty," Rodney tossed out around the cavern as if it was everyone else's fault that the syntax of the Wraith language still escaped him.
When the scientist passed by his namesake, Meredith reached out and swatted his shoulder. They shared another of their secret smiles and both turned up expectantly to Carson.
"Oh I see," Beckett muttered. "Will ye at least hold yer goddaughter while I attempt to soothe yer anxiety?"
Ford snorted. "Good luck, doc."
"A gun would work better," Ronon observed.
"Uh, how's that?" Ford asked.
"McKay has less trouble remembering stuff if someone points a gun in his face."
"His sense of direction kind of declines though."
"Who wants him to find his way back?"
Both men suddenly seemed to realise their companionable exchange and glared at each other.
Meanwhile, Carson Beckett – not a lab rat, thank you very much – watched as his daughter settled herself along Rodney's arm and held herself up to get a good look around. Rodney pointed towards Ford and Ronon and whispered into Meredith's ear. Elizabeth shook her head. Rodney pointed at her instead, but added a grin.
Throwing his eyes to the dirty top of the cavern, Carson tore them back down again to inspect the Wraith...computer, if it was called that. Interface, perhaps. His own Wraith had been shocking prior to his coronation, but ever since then his mind had absorbed so much unusual data from the systems he'd barely noticed it when he'd become fluent.
The screen, which was more of a swamp green skin stretched from top to bottom of the side of the cavern, gave with his fingers until his nails disappeared. Tingles swirled around the pads of his fingers, itching, tickling, drowning...Carson withdrew quickly.
"I can't," he said quietly.
"Can't what? Concentrate? Have you tried deep breaths?" Rodney supplied, staring at the screen impatiently.
"No, Rodney. It might...do ye remember the virus?"
"We all remember that," Ford said, then tipped a smirk at Ronon. "Well, most of us."
Ronon ran his nails over the blade hanging from his hip, apparently sharpening them. Ford snorted.
"I donae want to endanger any of ye, especially my lass," Carson explained, cheeks hollowing.
Rodney wrapped his other arm around Meredith and hugged her to him. "I...I didn't think of that. But they're not expecting us here, so it should be fine. I mean, if it's not fine then why aren't there any guards?"
"There will be some if we continue to discuss this," Elizabeth pointed out.
Carson stabbed his fingers back into the interface. The Wraith letters flickered, fought and then floundered away into Ancient then English, all at the command of the king of the Atlantis. Rodney drifted forwards and poured over the details arrayed before him. He muttered an commentary aside to his very young student until he swung around to address the others.
"Silicon wafers," Rodney said. "They're experimenting with silicon wafers, which are the basis of semiconductors, but this kind of science isn't exactly Wraith-y. They tend to be a little more organic with their base codes."
"I am kind of hungry," Ronon noted.
"No, what – " Rodney stopped and glanced sideways at him. "This is about waffles isn't it? I knew there had to be a reason I couldn't digest your cooking."
"He probably doesn't evaporate the pot dry like some people," Ford remarked.
The scientist's face collapsed back on itself and a grimace was constructed in its place. Rodney defended, "It was that one time and I had more important things to deal with."
"Aye," Carson said, voice tinged with distant strain. "Because the only thing more important than food is some sort of scientific breakthrough."
Elizabeth surveyed them for a moment and allowed a deep breath. Her chest loosened as her heart stopped racing around looking for an escape hatch. Her eyes caught Meredith's, and Elizabeth saw that same calmness there. Elizabeth stretched her neck and struck her voice forward. "Rodney, I'm sure there's an explanation you're dying to deliver in your unique way."
He blinked. "Right. Yes. Computer technology, to be simple."
"Was that so hard?" Elizabeth prompted when he fell silent.
"No. What's hard is trying to explain quantum physics to a chimp and expecting it to form even the slightest coherent sentence."
Ford held up a hand. "Does this actually have anything to do with QP?"
"...ah," Rodney rejoined after a brief bewildered pause. "Acronyms have to actually be accepted by the general populace before you can start ascribing meaning to them."
Elizabeth tapped her temples with thumb and forefinger. "Rodney, Lefevre's contribution to linguistics always gives me a headache."
"You, get a headache off that kind of thing?" Ford asked incredulously.
"Only when Rodney starts talking about it."
Seemingly oblivious, the Head of Science skimmed his fingers over the Wraith screen and tried to dig into the material. Failure didn't exactly happen, because no one knew that he'd been trying to do. Meredith hmmed near his right ear and Rodney pinched his eyes in response. Okay, almost no one.
"Then no," he announced.
"No what?" Ford demanded.
"This is nowhere near advanced enough to run off your QP." Rodney pitted the last two syllables out off his tongue. "This schematic is for a device that is no better than one of our computers except that it – "
"They're building a weapon," Carson said flatly.
Shifting awkwardly, Rodney attempted to pass back Meredith to her father, but Carson turned away. The scientist opted for levity. "Who are you? The class TP?"
"No, he'd need an apple for that acronym," Ford chortled.
Khaki hues rained over Carson's face as he stared against the cavern wall, though his friends could only see the tightening muscles in his shoulders. Elizabeth moved over and pressed five fingerprints against his back. "Are you alright, Carson?"
"No I'm bloody not!" he snapped, spinning back to them. "This is a weapon to... I'm sure how how to describe it. Rodney?"
Managing to hold his goddaughter and gesture elaborately with his other hand, Rodney supplied, "Bonding. Your DNA is electrically fused into the systems. Those bonds would be rendered inert by this device."
"You'd be cut off from Nena," Elizabeth realised.
"That's if you're lucky," Rodney said. "Your genetic sequence has been changed permanently. You might even die."
Meredith showed exactly what she thought of everyone's horrified faces (and again, Ronon does not count in this generalisation – the Satedan looked interested, in fact) by holding up a finger and burying it into her godfather's ear. Rodney yelped and Ford quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, telling him to shut it with as few expletives as possible.
Carson slumped against the nearest table, the anger on his face dissolving into resignation. "Oh God. How far are they along?"
"Getting a little too close," Aiden conceded, walking over to palm an object beside the CMO.
Holding it out, Ford began a grim silence as all eyes took in the sight of what resembled melted Replicator blocks – to broad intense relief, they weren't exactly what they appeared to be. Wraith and Replicators in one day might indeed spoil the next.
Meredith gave a quick cry of alarm and her father stood up. Ronon leapt off the wall and flicked out his gun.
"That's not all that's getting too close," Ronon said in a small, but vibrating growl.
A gust of wind swept past as Carson Beckett bolted down the tunnel towards the echoes of feet, doom and an alien dialect.
"Did he just do that?" Ford boggled.
He was flattened against the cavern as Ronon bowled past, tracking Carson's path but not before he shouted back, "Get going!"
"We should...we should probably follow," Rodney said uncertainly while Meredith stared at the hole in the room where her father had been.
Elizabeth also stared, one side of her lips more deeply turned downwards than the other. Her gaze fell to the uneven dirt ground and then rose up again as her eyes followed the deep impressions of two sets of feet.
"No," she said. "We need to go."
Ford shook his head fiercely. "I'm not leaving them behind."
"I will not stand here, with a child no less, waiting for the Wraith to find us. Ronon will bring Carson back but for now...we're leaving!"
Dutifully, Rodney, Meredith and Aiden obeyed the command.
Elizabeth waved them ahead, pausing just long enough to aim one last look after her two missing team mates before she left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1501
Control room
Atlantis
"Ruuuuuh, ruuuuuaah," intoned Chuck under his breath in his best impression of a car alarm, then he added, "Red alert. Colonel Sheppard on deck."
A Peter Grodin-shaped shadow eclipsed Chuck as the English technician rolled past, swinging the seat of his chair around to tuck himself under the control bench. Both men began half-pressing buttons and threw a few pensive looks behind to the large screen for good measure. Grodin tapped out the first few notes of Fur Elise with the smaller fingers of his left hand over a console.
Chuck slapped Peter's hand. "What are you doing?"
"What are you doing then?" Grodin demanded.
"That's a good question," John said, pulling into the space between them in his own wheely chair.
Chuck sprang for freedom. Years of burning muscles and bullet holes gave John the advantage as he invoked full leadership control by locking a hand around Chuck's arm. John's chair skidded in the attempt, but it was a success. He missed Grodin who dropped to the floor and rolled to the other side of the control room where he began his own leap for the door.
Blocking his escape was Teyla Emmagan, late of Athos. She presented a blank face, tinged with "where are you going?" before snapping her palm under his chin. The English technician back-pedalled then tried again, which was to be his undoing. Teyla flattened to the floor and spun in the same breath, chopping him down just below the knees. Grodin contemplated the ceiling for a second or two before he started to worry about his vertebras.
Chuck buried his feet in the floor but it merely slowed the roll across to his partner. Nodding at Teyla, John grinned when she responded by planting a standard issue boot across Grodin's ribcage.
"Now you're probably wondering..." John began slowly. "...why you didn't tell me any of this earlier. I can forget that with a little time. What I need to know is where you get your goods from, because I take it you're not the biggest fans of Cadman. I'm guessing your main supplier is Zelenka, am I right?"
Grodin meeped. Chuck smiled anxiously.
"Role playing discount?" the Canadian offered.
"Was that a bribe?" John asked Teyla.
His team mate bent her knee and pushed it forward with both hands, affecting a thoughtful pose while Grodin wheezed under the extra pressure. Teyla said calmly, "It is possible that Campbell is merely telling us why his preference lay with Dr Zelenka."
"Yes, that!" Chuck added.
Grodin sighed. "Yes, why not reveal everything as soon as we're asked?"
"Lorne's in on it too!" Chuck exclaimed.
Bringing over his abandoned chair, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard straddled it backwards and manoeuvred his four wheels between the pair. He began carefully, adding weight to each new syllable, "What we have is a situation. What I need is your cooperation."
"What is the location where your last...purchase occurred?" Teyla prompted.
"Would you care for a jelly baby?" Grodin fired back haughtily before losing a gasp of air that Teyla drew out by tipping her toes between two ribs.
Chuck's bottom teeth nipped up onto his top lip and dragged back down again. He threw his hands to the nape of his neck and his fingers scribbled through his spiky but carefully kept hair. Few people were privy to touching Chuck's hair, but those who did commented that it was softer than the hair on a baby. This was probably why very few ever got close enough to discover this for themselves. Chuck thought he had an image to uphold.
Except in circumstances such as this.
"Did you ask Zelenka?" he managed.
"Of course they did!" Peter groaned. "And if Major Lorne and Sergeant Bates were aware of Radek's capture, then they would move to the...the...a place the supplier might not be aware of. Yes. Or not, because this is just conjecture, Colonel." He coughed. "And uh, Miss Emmagan." He coughed again. "Teyla, then, is it?"
Teyla and John shared a loaded glance. Chuck and Peter avoided looking at anyone.
"Haven't you asked Nena to sense them?" Peter muttered desperately.
John swiftly nodded. "Uh, it's one of those non-sensing parts of the city. There are...a few of those."
His team mate cocked an eyebrow at him and John could have sworn he heard her voice. Is that so?
I was getting around to asking Nena, he defended by tipping his head to one side and throwing up his best flyboy smile.
Teyla smiled back. If that is how you wish to remember it.
I'm probably right though.
"All we require is a location," Teyla said out loud, then ticked one side of her lips higher which made her CO wonder if she really hadn't just teased him inside his own head.
"And Chuck here has volunteered to come with us and point it out," John said.
Grodin smiled in relief to whichever gods resided in the sky of whatever this planet was called.
"As for Grodin..." John began.
Silence.
John stood up, kicking his chair back towards the console. "Teyla can decide that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1509
Wraith laboratory
M4B-1313
A fork in the tunnel had sent Carson Beckett careening down the left, because it seemed to be the thing to do. But his blurring footfalls had not allowed logic to stop him long enough to listen carefully to the echoes. Luckily for him, his tracker was one part instinct and one part common sense. Not so luckily, or so Carson thought, was that despite his brain cells being zapped into a whole new level of advanced, he still had no way of avoiding the tackle that Ronon performed to slam him against the wall, halting his progress.
Ronon Dex retracted his hands, while his chipped eyes darted around the very enclosed and very dead end that they found themselves in. Aside from an interface and a few bone fragments in one rounded not-quite corner, there was a distant lack of defensible areas. Ronon growled.
"I wonnae let them!" Carson babbled, sliding along the wall away from him. "I need ta take care of this. You wouldna understand."
"They killed my wife!" Ronon bellowed.
Beckett halted in his retreat and sank to the ground, blue eyes engaging into twin gaping Stargates. "Lad, I...Ronon...I didnae know."
"Now you do," Dex said lowly. He struck out a hand. "Still want to get yourself killed, Beckett? Your wife will get lonely."
When Carson extended his arm to accept the offer of help, he fumbled as Ronon grasped his wrist intead of his hand as he'd expected. The dirt under Carson's ankles tipped as he was levered up. He tried again. "But they have this weapon..."
"You want to beat up some Wraith? I can understand that. We'll have to do it now because they're probably blocking our exit."
"Oh lovely," Carson murmured.
Ronon smirked. "C'mon, Beckett. You need to get your hands dirty sometime."
"Have I ever told you about the time I electrocuted a Wraith?"
"Want to show me instead?" suggested Ronon, whose hard eyes warned that no praises would be granted unless it actually worked.
"Sounds like a plan."
In truth, Carson didn't know if his abilities extended far from his home. But the voice of Rodney McKay slinging along his synapses suggested that if a virus could affect him in an off-world situation, then shouldn't he run a personal trial?
Ronon's shoulders, seemingly set apart by a metre of solid muscle (thought rationally, Carson knew it could no more be a metre than Rodney's cooking skills could be called a success), hunkered down as the Satedan prepared his charge. The king of Atlantis copied the stance, though he glanced anxiously about, expecting the attack to come from any which way.
"Stay close," warned Ronon.
"Aye," Carson agreed, but inched towards a nearby Wraith interface.
His companion noticed, nodded, and positioned himself further in front.
The first three Wraith marched into view. Blue blasts curved through the air to smack against the cave walls; the power settings must have been adjusted a little higher because chips skittered away from the rock and soil they had been loyal to for millennia. A ball of itchy red light hurtled back in response, burrowing into the chest of one drone and sending it into a thrashing puddle of limbs and snarls.
Ronon continued to fire with his left hand as he strode forward. Bodies and the still able-bodied crowded through the minute entrance, seeming to respond in frame-by-frame mode as Dex whipped out his blade with his other hand and slipped it from one victim to the next. Awed, Carson watched with distraction until the Satedan began to fall back.
His back to the interface, Carson felt his way behind and plunged ten digits on, into, through the components. Murky text and equations slimed up before his eyes and he choked on air for a few seconds as the alien technology encased him.
"Duck!" shouted Carson.
Ronon dived to the floor, looking up to catch the bright green dancing through the doctor's eyes just before Carson also joined him. The interface shook, expanded, debated whether or not it was safer to remain where it was, then exploded. Barbs of electricity shuddered out like ripples in every direction, but on one level – conveniently the height of the drones' upper torsos.
Both men stared as the Wraith shook violently in place. They winced as the scent of freshly singed skin wended through the air, more foul and astute than human flesh had ever been in their memories.
"I get it now," Ronon said aside.
Carson blinked. "Get what, lad?"
"I get why she nailed you," chortled his companion before tunnelling forward on his hands and knees.
Laughing hard enough to form of a crater in the dirt in front of him, the king of Atlantis poised on all fours before he weaved past frying corpses and arcing light to follow Ronon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1515
South Pier
Atlantis
Four metal legs bounced, squealed and stilled. Not content with this, Laura Cadman grabbed the back of the chair by both sides with a clenched grip and threw her captive backwards. The short gap between chair and wall ripped the abortive swear word from Zelenka's throat. He considered himself lucky that he had been cowering forward enough to miss striking the back of his skull against very durable Lantean metal and plexiglass.
"Of course they would not come for me, of course," Radek spat. "How unwise of me to believe I was speaking to a human being!"
"If I was a human, then that wouldn't be a very nice thing to say," Nena said, pouting over Laura's shoulder at him.
Zelenka scowled. He had almost escaped their little trap, but Cadman had distracted his dash with a well-timed shout of 'Run, rabbit, run run run!' – or something very much like it. Whatever the evil spell had been, his face still smarted from where it met a closed door which he was very sure had never been a door before in the history of Atlantis.
"I will not discuss this," Radek said and looked to the side, inspecting the rim around the nearest window.
The scenery abruptly shifted into the form of Nena who flashed between the window and the Czech in the briefest of milliseconds. Clicking noises indicated her attempt to tsk, though Zelenka didn't want to mention that she should keep her tongue inside her mouth. Nena said with increasing volume, "To human beings such as yourself, I am sure my daughter must seem highly advanced. She is not. Yet. Her attachment to you and her attempts to solve your situation are sweet – very sweet! But the leader of this city is Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Not my Meredith. And especially not you, Radek. Your battles must be fought as an adult! Please tell us how to disengage all of Meredith's protocols and I'd be very happy if you blocked her with the subroutine until she is of an age to understand this."
"And believe me, Zelenka, we do have ways of making you talk," Laura added with a leer.
"She ruined my life!" Radek hurled at the now vacant window, which quietly glowed with the last bursts of serious sunshine.
Rolling his head back around, he stared levelly at both of them. Laura shrugged, beginning to turn until Nena pinched her elbow and nodded meaningfully at their victim. Nena reminded her, "You are part of this. I am sure this would make Elizabeth very cranky if she heard about it."
"I am sorry," Radek murmured.
"Ditto," Laura agreed.
"I may not know much about humans, but a compromise is universal, is it not?"
Scientist and marine eyed each other skeptically. Beaming at them, Nena tapped the side of her head, mimicking the common headset gesture, and announced, "Radek is being such a help."
"Good to hear that," responded a very terse John. "Get everyone back to the transporter."
"Okay!" sang back Nena.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1516
Thickly wooded forest
M4B-1313
Dusty royal blue shades covered the planet as the star dived into the horizon earlier than on Atlantis. This would have been fine for cover, except that wherever no tree was – say, the clearing around the cave where Rodney, Meredith, Elizabeth and Aiden waited – there were instead seas of grass that bloomed silver the instant nighttime touched them.
Rodney hid behind a rock with his goddaughter. Aiden lurked around the perimeter of trees. Elizabeth zipped her fingers together and swung her hands awkwardly, passing the time. She kept to the trees as well, but stayed a good deal further out after one of the trees started braying at her. Sneaking a look to her watch, and finding that the light display was unhelpfully dead, Elizabeth Weir uncrossed her arms and strode out into the light, ready to spout a few words.
"M'am, either we wait here or we go back in and get them," former Lt. Aiden Ford said quickly before she could even begin.
"I'm not saying we should leave them," Elizabeth fenced.
A high pitched vocal complaint made her swing around to glare at trees briefly. A moment later, Rodney leapt up from his hidey hole, jostling Meredith uneasily from arm to arm as she sobbed. When Elizabeth caught his eyes with her own, she knew her inaudible gasp of horror was clear as day in the silver sheen ghosting over her face. Rodney hurriedly deposited Meredith with his boss and snatched the gun off his leg holster. He held out his other hand and snapped it at Ford. "Weapon. You'll have one, won't you, even though you're not supposed to."
"Yeah, I'm packing. Why the interest?"
"I am a godfather, therefore it is kind of my responsibility to protect my goddaughter when Carson isn't here," Rodney burst out. "And in, oh say, 10 seconds we're going to have a few unwelcome guests from our past."
Ford rolled one good eye. "Okay, fine, McKay. Dr Weir, it'd probably be a good idea to find some cover."
Elizabeth did just that and was briefly frustrated when her young charge grizzled at the change of guardian. She didn't have enough time to feel the entire brunt of being put out because 9.382 seconds later, two humanoids emerged from the cave and threw themselves on the ground as though an explosion had blown them out.
Yelling incomprehensibly, Rodney kept both eyes open as he fired each singular shot into what could only be described as a nightmare stream of opponents...well, the number wasn't important so much as the stress level, correct? His firing partner had better luck with a small semi-automatic that could not have slipped into any cavities that Elizabeth would have thought to check; she watched with a burgeoning smile. Meredith caught her mood and laughed.
"I told you they'd take care of it," Ronon declared, flinging himself up off his paws. He nodded at Ford. "Good work. Fast too."
Aiden shrugged modestly.
Carson jogged over to Rodney and cuffed his friend on the side of the shoulder, beaming. No words were spoken, but the worried scowl on the scientist's face dipped into a smug response quickly before wrinkling up again into Rodney's patented irritated expression. "Right, well you can all stay here chatting while the Wraith run after us, so I'm going to run this way to the 'gate." He pointed and sprinted.
"No arguments here," Elizabeth said. "Alright, keep up everyone."
She passed Meredith back to her father and took off after Rodney. Those under her command followed.
"I'm sorry yer first trip off-world was like this, lass," Carson panted as he tried to juggle strides over and around logs with the firm grip he was maintaining on his daughter. "Ye'll never want to go through the damn Stargate again. It's bloody insanity."
Meredith was too busy humming to pay him much mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1524
Opposite the mess hall
Atlantis
A growing crowd of military, civilians, scientists, gate technicians and other assorted beings ambled about in front of a locked storage closet. Some had been directly seeking the last stand of Sergeant Donald Bates and Major Evan Lorne, but most were curiously drawn to the gathering on their exit or entrance to the mess hall in search of, predominantly, coffee.
Colonel Sheppard did not deliver an order to disperse, not because he was a Cool Guy, but because he didn't want to make it into an even bigger deal than it was. Steel hand gripped around Chuck's left biceps and triceps, John refused to let his guide vanish even though they had – apparently – reached their destination.
"I thought you saw everything, no?" Zelenka asked Nena, indicating the closet.
"Your subroutine diverted my attention," Nena explained patiently, though the pixels forming her green eyes flickered orange, which made the scientist swallow. "I see most things anyway, but there's a rather sizable gap in my sensors in some places because of last year's storm which I notice had left a mess that no one bothered to clean up."
Sheppard turned a scowl over his shoulder. "We've kind of had other things to worry about. And Carson hasn't exactly said anything."
Chuck nodded emphatically as John's fingers dug in further.
"John," Teyla said reprovingly. Limbs retracted and the crowd parted to let the Athosian through and she seated a hand on John's back. Dipping her head towards Nena, Teyla continued firmly, "Acknowledge the existing problem, as it is under your current duties and responsibilities."
John sighed, collecting himself. "Nena, I'm sorry about the mess and I'm sorry I wasn't in charge – or even aware of the problem – at the time. I'll fix it."
"That's so not nailed," Laura Cadman noted to several on-lookers, who tittered on cue.
The only one of the team who heard was Zelenka, who frowned over the rim of his glasses at her. "You have been speaking to Ronon."
"Yep," Laura said cheerfully. "So who or what have you nailed lately?"
Radek grinned down at the floor and his head jiggled with glee. The Lieutenant's mouth snapped open, before sealing up into a wide smile. She snatched her competitor's hand, curled his fingers over and bumped his fist with hers. Bewildered, the Czech let his hand fall loose, but he had no qualms about the handshake that Laura proceeded to give him. This could indeed be the start of beautiful partnership...and party. Preferably soon.
"Your plan," Teyla prompted John.
"I don't want to be using stunners or anything else, because that's a little extreme."
Laura stepped forward with her suggestion. "Hand-to-hand, sir?"
"Grudge match!" shouted someone in the corridor. It echoed in whispers.
Shooting a glare around at those under his command, John was momentarily pleased when gazes were cowed and voices stilled. Teyla interrupted his glory, "I assume you will be happy to delegate this activity?"
"This is not a one-man job," John decided, grinning.
"I think I will go...eat something," Chuck mumbled and slipped from John's distracted grasp.
Nena pressed a hand to the door and nodded at John.
He nodded back.
The door whooshed open, revealing Bates, Lorne and a truly epic stash of stimulants, relaxants and other unmentionables. Bates had torn out a panel and was already shuffling crystals.
"Sir," Bates began testily and got no further.
Several bodies slammed into the storage closet and Colonel John Sheppard was proud to admit (though certainly not to Elizabeth later) that he spearheaded the attack. The black eye that showed up two days later, delivered by Lorne's elbow gouging up at him after the Major had been pressed to the ground, was totally worth it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1545
Gateroom
Atlantis
When the hot and panting holiday-makers splashed out of the Stargate, John was waiting at the foot of the stairs with Nena. After several tense minutes of listening to a radio transmission of gunfire, swearing and lectures on swearing in front of children, the time had come to welcome back the off-world party.
John held up a hand in reserved greeting, though Nena chose to throw her arms around her husband and daughter. The three of them had a quiet reunion off to one side.
"Colonel Sheppard, would you care to explain?" Elizabeth demanded.
Wincing as he glanced back around to see various members of the expedition looking like they'd been crammed into a blender, John forced a vague smile. "Uh, not really. But how about you guys – you're back early. What happened?"
"Just a secret Wraith lab with a new weapon," Elizabeth replied wearily. "Will you be wanting that report soon, Colonel?"
John coughed out a laugh. "Nah, Elizabeth, this job's all yours. It's not what I thought it would be."
"I know exactly what you mean."
Meanwhile, Rodney edged away from Ronon and Aiden who were both sending evil grins in his direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Not Quite A Week Later ~
0630
A balcony
God-knows-where
Major Evan Lorne had woken on better days, but this one was rather exceptional if the red glow on his eyelids was any indication. A breeze trailed over his skin, but he was insulated against the chill of the cooler currents flowing around Atlantis by a rather outstanding sunshine. He sent a hand out searching for the alarm clock to pull it in front of his face. A tangle of hair cut into his skin.
Lorne's eyes shot open. In two seconds, he realised that A) he had slept out on a balcony, B) he seemed to be almost but not entirely nude, C) the same could be said of Lieutenant Cadman lying beside him and D) – wait WHAT?
"Well that's different," he muttered.
He flattened his hand and gingerly picked off the strawberry blonde strands with his other fingers. Laura did not stir, but Evan inched his way back inside, casting an eye around for his clothes. Actually, he couldn't remember bringing clothes, but then again he couldn't even remember how the hell this happened. Something about a...party?
He frowned because A) he'd torn the frat regs to pieces, B) there was no way he'd have ended up in such a position with Laura Cadman of all people, C) WHY didn't he remember anything and D) –
"Meredith!" he whispered loudly. "Where am I?"
No answer. Evan gulped. The silence was probably due to Meredith finally sleeping or being successfully reigned in by a subroutine, but it really didn't help.
He hesitated long enough to smile in bemusement at the woman sleeping on the balcony before escaping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0830
Gateroom
Atlantis
"Are you sure you don't want to hang around a bit?" John Sheppard asked lightly. "Get some rays, catch the latest football video they sent over..."
Aide's chin slipped down a bit, but he smiled. "I think I'm going to catch the next one live. Keep them out of trouble," he directed at Ronon.
Ronon slowly grinned. "Shouldn't be too hard to do with you out of the galaxy."
Seeing Rodney awkwardly shift his feet, Ford snorted and clapped him on the shoulder. The scientist started. "What was that for?"
"Why not? I like you enough not to flatten you. And besides, you've given me enough comic relief to last a year."
"About that..." Rodney paused, glancing briefly to Teyla who nodded back at him. "I'm not one for the Sheppard one-liners, so...so..."
He handed over a plastic eyepatch that had probably begun its life as part of a child's Halloween costume. Rodney in fact knew exactly where it come from – Zelenka had never been as broad minded as Laura Cadman when it came to exotic goods, so to speak.
Ford slipped it over his head and nodded. "Thanks, McKay."
"Don't – don't mention it."
Three figures burst into existence with a shower of white sparks. Judging by the wince of Carson's face, it was probably due to Meredith who gave everyone her best blank smile.
"You only just came back and you're off again!" Nena exclaimed.
Ford readjusted the bag slung over his shoulder to shrug. "That's just how it goes. I'll see if I can visit, but it probably won't happen."
"Goodbye, lad," Carson said. "I'm sure we'll see that face of yers again."
Meredith waved a hand. Aiden waved back.
"Respect your parents," he said seriously. "'Coz no one else here does."
"Oh get on with ye!"
Aiden snapped a salute to John, then threw one up to the control room where Elizabeth was watching. He kept his straight face long enough to say, "Hurts like hell, guys..."
With a wild whoop, the Lieutenant hurled himself backwards through the event horizon.
Farewells are never easy, but as the 'gate deactivated and the wormhole's blue glow rescinded, Carson was struck with a sense of even greater finality. He stared up at the gate and wondered. Carson stole a look about his friends, then to his wife.
"I'm not going anywhere," Nena said quietly, as though sensing his thoughts, then added lightly, "I can't fly off with only one ZPM!"
"Do ye suppose we have enough time to reattempt Meredith's human education?"
"Carson...she already knows how to crawl. She was just playing with you."
Meredith absently blew bubbles from her lips.
"She's far too much like her mum," Carson grumbled.
A small but charming sea-side apartment
Atlantis
Laura Cadman peered into the corridor outside her quarters. She bit the corner of her lip as darkness continued to stare defiantly back at her. Today was one of those blindingly beautiful days with enough sea breeze to wash out any residual heat. She'd woken up in a patch of light and had immediately decided to take a slow burn jog down to her contraband stash and back. She wasn't due to report in until the evening. The night shifts agreed very much with her night owl predisposition – and her plans to run Zelenka out of town.
It wasn't like she'd specifically targeted the guy. She liked him. He had a killer castling move in chess which she respected him for. But Laura always appreciated chocolate at least five days out of twenty-eight and it had appalled her to hear about the prices being charged.
So she decided to put her stash to good use. And then more, as the Daedalus zipped between galaxies.
Now, faced with a pitch-black and ominous scene outside her quarters, Laura figured she should have expected this. The sun was already clearing the horizon at her window, so chances were there wasn't a different time zone awaiting her on another side of the door.
"Okay, I think someone around here needs to grow up – and not McKay, surprisingly," she said evenly, before retrieving the night vision goggles she stashed in her bathroom cabinet next to some Swiss chocolate (all medicinal supplies, naturally).
Laura tiptoed down the corridor with ease. Her next little problem announced itself in the form of a locked sliding door, which she was pretty sure hadn't existed last night. Slipping her fingers over the panel and wondering why she hadn't bothered to learn how to pick Lantean locks, the Lieutenant knew that if she didn't deal with this now, the rest of her day would suck.
Her first clue was a digitised tinkle of mirth hovering in the sound system above her head.
Laura Cadman raised her eyes to the panelling and simply smiled.
It took no more than two minutes to locate her personal stash of contraband – decidedly less edible and a lot more explosive. She'd barely started wiring up the door when it opened, blinding her with a bland green light until she ripped off her goggles.
Some girls play with ponies. Some half-human half-Ancient girls play with citywide circuits they really shouldn't. Laura Cadman had blown up a letterbox at the age of six.
"I think I know how this goes," Laura said conversationally to the walls that led into the bowels of the city. "You feel sorry for the little guy and want to protect him from the new kid on the block. I totally get that. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
...except to my main supply, she thought and burst into a dead run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some hours later
A dark and scary cave
M4B-1313
"I have plenty of experience with camping. When Jeannie and I were kids, Dad used to take us out to a lake – very nice – but I wasn't too good at the tenting thing, but anyway, one year there was this other family staying there. There was this cute girl – Annie, I think her name was. We spent a lot of time reading together but we never got to the kissing stage because I had this one bad experience in Algebra club – "
"Where you caught mono," chorused three bored individuals.
Rodney scowled, though in the poor lighting from a tiny torch pilfered from his BDU no one had to suffer much of it. "Fine, but what I meant was...this is a dark cave and we don't even know what lives here but judging by the smell – which I'm sure seems normal to the resident caveman – it's not something we want to hang around for."
The resident caveman dropped a heavy hand over the light, masking it completely. Ronon leaned in and suggested in a growl, "You can go out to the Wraith if you don't like it."
Silence enjoyed a brief reign.
"I'm more worried about what they're doing here," Elizabeth mused. "They can't have spotted us, or we'd be captured by now."
Ford made an off-hand grunt from his position on the other side of a boulder. He hadn't spoken much, though once the thin beam of light had fallen across him to reveal him wetting his lips with a trembling tongue. Carson had moved beside him, but did not appear to need to render aid.
"Aye, I can think of too many lovely things they have planned," the CMO muttered, keeping a firm grip on Meredith who sat beside him.
"I feel so useless," Elizabeth said more to herself. "We don't even know if the 'gate is free or if they'll find our camp..."
"Can't just hang around here," Ronon said. "I'd rather take a stun blast to the face than listen to another of McKay's stories."
Rodney McKay, having had his fair share of aforementioned stun blasts, crossed his arms and tipped his head to one side and spitted Ronon with his best snark attack expression. After a few seconds, it sunk in that A) no one could see any face in the dark and B) Rodney really didn't want the Satedan to be privy to that particular story. He chose to stare impassively ahead.
Ford flashed up his own light into their faces as he stood. He stuck a finger in his mouth then held it up in the air, one eye closed. After a moment, he pointed down one end of the tunnel. "Yeah, I'd rather head to where the air is coming from than stay here."
Elizabeth pressed the tips of her fingers together and bounced her hands in her lap. Her concentration had taken a dive with the arrival of those dreaded ships shooting overhead and she'd lost even more of what focus she might have had while running over tree trunks before she plunged into a cave that no one had the time to search in for creepy crawlies.
"Alright, let's go," she said and left it at that.
"Wait, wait, aren't we going to take a vote?" Rodney demanded.
Ronon slapped his shoulder. "Three out of five. Let's go."
A beautific smile rendered itself across the scientist's face. "I count two Merediths, so my vote counts for two and I say we stay here instead of running out to meet our impending doom."
"I thought ye didnae like wee spaces like this," Carson said suspiciously, making sure he positioned his body to block the big grin Meredith suddenly sported.
"Slowly closing-in walls, lack of oxygen, dehydration and dwindling sustenance versus misplacing my head and limbs, but only if I'm lucky that they don't want to take the best years of my life?"
"Rodney, your vanity is the least of our problems," Elizabeth said, striding over to stand above him. "And I cannot let you stay here."
Ronon added to the effect, his height bringing him up near the top of the cave. The movement dislodged the torch from the Satedan's grasp and light shone over Rodney's upturned face and the deepening lines around his mouth. Elizabeth held out a hand. He took it.
Meredith's smile opened into the beginnings of a laugh, so Carson quickly distracted his lass by lifting her up quickly to nestle against him.
"Da," she mumbled into his ear to get his attention.
His eyes followed hers to where Rodney was sulking off to one side, clearly visible as Ford drew crazy lines around him on the cave wall with his flashlight.
"Aye," Carson agreed. "Daft buggers."
He wondered if his daughter also saw Elizabeth's smile quickly slip behind a pinched expression. Guessing that stranger things had happened, and knowing Nena would laugh at him about it later, Carson sent his own chuckle into the beyond. Ronon pushed by him and commented quietly, "He hasn't nailed it yet."
Carson choked.
"Do ye suppose he knows the meaning of that?" he asked his daughter in concern.
Meredith smiled into his neck.
Following the pinprick of light that Aiden flicked around the tunnel ahead, all of them traipsed into the unknown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1415
A corridor on the South Pier
Atlantis
Radek Zelenka knew his days were numbered. Any human does – or at least one who does not intend to get pointy canines installed sometime in the near future. A black garbage bag containing all sorts of caffeinated delights was wildly bobbing over his shoulder as he raced after his two compatriots in an attempt to escape the Wrath of Cadman. At least they had managed to retain their socks – Radek was down to the soles of his feet and he rather wished he wasn't wondering where his own socks had gone.
Bates froze and held up a hand. Lorne skidded a few steps ahead, throwing back a raised eyebrow. Grateful for the break, Radek threw down the bag and grumbled, "I feel a little like a less fortunate Svatý Mikuláš."
"Who?" Evan enquired.
"He means Santa Claus," Bates explained curtly, swivelling his head in each possible direction. "We need to split up. Most of the stash is dealt with anyway but no one wants to be caught holding the bag when Cadman shows up."
"Or Colonel Sheppard..." Zelenka realised, remembering the mad slide through the main thoroughfare.
Evan Lorne, leaning against the wall and lacking any moisture across his forehead, chuckled. Unhurriedly stepping on the toes of each sock so he could yank each foot free, he then tossed the pair into an undignified pile not too far from Zelenka.
"And your point is...?" invited Sgt. Bates on Radek's behalf, as the Czech was staring down at the articles of clothing with a mixture of blank acceptance and annoyed disbelief.
"Sheppard's like one of the guys," Lorne said with grin. "He'll get it. Besides, even if he had half the know-how of Doctor Weir, he still wouldn't find out what's going on."
An eery harmony quavered through the air, making all three men stare down the corridor apprehensively. Seconds passed before someone, who shall remain nameless, instantly recognised it as one highly popular contribution to music by a boy band.
Zelenka quietly scooped up his sack of goodies and began inching further down the hall. Lorne tilted his head at him questioningly. The scientist tightly held his eyes on the distant patch of light that escaped through a window down the corridor, and those same eyes widened when a shadow blurred into an outline.
"Hello, boys!" called Laura Cadman.
"Oh shit!" Bates exclaimed and turned around to find that he was several metres behind Zelenka and Lorne in the retreat. "Scatter! SCATTER!"
They scattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1430
Outside a transporter
South Pier
"Lieutenant Cadman, please check in," John ordered into the mouthpiece that curved around his jaw.
He thought it would be helpful to use a headset instead of a handheld radio, but so far it had only made him look like one of those child Jango clones. And Cadman hadn't given him any kind of response, which made him feel like he was addressing thin air, except for the fact that beside him were the seemingly unconcerned pair of women who gave him the most trouble in his life.
Nena pressed a hand over a nearby panel, muttered under her breath and stepped back as it spat out a shiny chrome device. She held it out to John. "This will help us listen to their conversations."
"Is that going to help?" John asked dubiously, twisting aside his mouthpiece.
Teyla played intermediary as she forced it into her CO's hand. She said flatly, "If Meredith is responsible for causing this, then perhaps she allowed those working with her some means of avoiding any of our transmissions."
"Cadman's in on it too?" John demanded.
Nena shook her head.
John glowered.
Laura Cadman rounded the corner and waved at them, quickly turning the gesture into a snappy salute. "I believe I can answer that myself, sir. This morning I got locked up near my room and then found my..." She paused, looking for the appropriate words – preferably not 'black market stash'. "...belongings had been misplaced. Since Zelenka has been sneaking around lately, I pegged him as the culprit. In fact, I'd just lost track of where he was going when you people showed up."
John Sheppard found his back against the wall with three women advancing on his previously secure position. Naturally, he panicked. Then he remembered that he was Head Honcho for a couple of days so this really shouldn't happen. His hand flipped back through his hair in an attempt for indifference and John injected a stiff posture to increase his presence.
"This has to stop," he said.
No one disagreed and, just as John was about to continue with a resounding pep talk, the Ancient communication deceive that had dipped into his palm like it belonged there gave a short burst of sound.
"Okay, Santa Claus, where the hell are you?" Bates' voice growled. "We've been waiting for ten minutes."
A pause, then Zelenka responded, "Ah well, slight problem. Lt. Cadman followed me."
"She caught you?" came Lorne's incredulous tones.
"Ne, not yet, but is only a matter of time! I need you to activate Meredith's back-up."
"We should probably warn Sheppard that we're cutting off the power."
"Lorne, shut up," Bates snapped back. "This is war. Santa, if we don't see you in five minutes, we'll move to a location that you won't find, much less be able to worm your way into. Power goes off in an hour."
Nena closed her eyes. All watched her. After a moment, John cleared his throat and the city's sentience smiled brightly towards him. "Meredith has used Radek's chess subroutine to reconfigure the power settings."
"Killer castling move," Laura said, more to herself.
Seizing the opportunity to sneak out through a gap of limbs belonging to his attackers, John paced briefly and flattened his hair down to his ears. He wished he had Elizabeth's desk for a barrier or at least her best stonewall expression. Whipping back around, he said, "Okay. Nena, can you change the settings?"
"No," Nena answered, frustration falling across her face. "It is an ingenious program, for a human."
"Perhaps Doctor Zelenka can be convinced to deactivate it permanently," Teyla suggested.
Laura twisted her fingers together and various knuckles cracked. "And by 'convinced', I'm hoping you mean something a little more fun than chasing him around the South Pier."
"Aggressive negotiations," John advocated. "Nena, can you pull sound bites of Bates and make up some sort of message for Zelenka to follow?"
"Ooh, I haven't tried that yet."
"That's a yes then. Cadman, take out Zelenka."
"Yes, sir."
Teyla crossed her arms and waited.
John did not disappoint. "Teyla, you're with me. I don't know how just yet, but we need to figure out where Bates and Lorne are holed up."
"Does this require asking personnel questions they'd rather avoid?"
"Sure."
"I believe we should begin with the gate technicians."
Most corridors of Atlantis are lit enough to blind any unsuspecting soul awakening without coffee to find that they are due to report in and have yet to locate their shirt. So, of course, John was suddenly wary as shadows formed in the nooks of his team mate's smile.
"Er, Teyla, this isn't that much of a big deal," John reminded her.
Teyla curled her arm around his and continued to smile in that scary way as she pulled him into the transporter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1500
Sekrit Wraith lab
M4B-1313
Pure accident can be construed as fate – or as one of those little ironies involved in the action of trying to move further away from space vampires but instead ending up heading towards them. The irony was not lost on Elizabeth Weir, whose tenuous position as off-world team leader meant that her judgement was supposed to result in everyone finding their way back home in time for dinner...preferably in one piece. Or two, maybe.
Pure dismay was Elizabeth's feeling of choice when the tunnel climbed up into a cavern that seemed to throb and roll like green muck, thanks to the twisted lantern-esque lights struck up and down the walls, tucked around screens crawling with Wraith text. A table or so, made of a gnarled material that probably had ended its life in pain, took up the rest of the space against the rock forming the structure.
"Because this isn't creepy at all," Ford said and everyone skirted their gazes about the place uncertainly.
Well, everyone except Ronon who deliberately leaned against the side and idly flicked one of the lights with his fingernails.
"What are we looking at?" Elizabeth asked.
"Something none too pleasant, I'd wager if I did sech things," Carson murmured, stroking his hand against Meredith's back.
"It's a lab," Rodney deduced. "Whatever they're making here is causing problems downstream."
"Like sewage in the water?" Aiden ventured.
Ronon shrugged, tipping his head forward to obscure his true expression. "There are worse things."
Pondering this for a moment, Elizabeth sighed. But then she studied the Satedan's hunching profile and realised he was very right on that account. She couldn't begin to imagine those 'worse things'. Her lips tightened back into her cheeks to hide her smile when she wondered if being trapped in a Puddlejumper with Rodney was worse than an environmental disaster.
"I'm not disagreeing," she said at last, "but it would help if we knew what we were up against."
"Too bad my Wraith's a little rusty," Rodney tossed out around the cavern as if it was everyone else's fault that the syntax of the Wraith language still escaped him.
When the scientist passed by his namesake, Meredith reached out and swatted his shoulder. They shared another of their secret smiles and both turned up expectantly to Carson.
"Oh I see," Beckett muttered. "Will ye at least hold yer goddaughter while I attempt to soothe yer anxiety?"
Ford snorted. "Good luck, doc."
"A gun would work better," Ronon observed.
"Uh, how's that?" Ford asked.
"McKay has less trouble remembering stuff if someone points a gun in his face."
"His sense of direction kind of declines though."
"Who wants him to find his way back?"
Both men suddenly seemed to realise their companionable exchange and glared at each other.
Meanwhile, Carson Beckett – not a lab rat, thank you very much – watched as his daughter settled herself along Rodney's arm and held herself up to get a good look around. Rodney pointed towards Ford and Ronon and whispered into Meredith's ear. Elizabeth shook her head. Rodney pointed at her instead, but added a grin.
Throwing his eyes to the dirty top of the cavern, Carson tore them back down again to inspect the Wraith...computer, if it was called that. Interface, perhaps. His own Wraith had been shocking prior to his coronation, but ever since then his mind had absorbed so much unusual data from the systems he'd barely noticed it when he'd become fluent.
The screen, which was more of a swamp green skin stretched from top to bottom of the side of the cavern, gave with his fingers until his nails disappeared. Tingles swirled around the pads of his fingers, itching, tickling, drowning...Carson withdrew quickly.
"I can't," he said quietly.
"Can't what? Concentrate? Have you tried deep breaths?" Rodney supplied, staring at the screen impatiently.
"No, Rodney. It might...do ye remember the virus?"
"We all remember that," Ford said, then tipped a smirk at Ronon. "Well, most of us."
Ronon ran his nails over the blade hanging from his hip, apparently sharpening them. Ford snorted.
"I donae want to endanger any of ye, especially my lass," Carson explained, cheeks hollowing.
Rodney wrapped his other arm around Meredith and hugged her to him. "I...I didn't think of that. But they're not expecting us here, so it should be fine. I mean, if it's not fine then why aren't there any guards?"
"There will be some if we continue to discuss this," Elizabeth pointed out.
Carson stabbed his fingers back into the interface. The Wraith letters flickered, fought and then floundered away into Ancient then English, all at the command of the king of the Atlantis. Rodney drifted forwards and poured over the details arrayed before him. He muttered an commentary aside to his very young student until he swung around to address the others.
"Silicon wafers," Rodney said. "They're experimenting with silicon wafers, which are the basis of semiconductors, but this kind of science isn't exactly Wraith-y. They tend to be a little more organic with their base codes."
"I am kind of hungry," Ronon noted.
"No, what – " Rodney stopped and glanced sideways at him. "This is about waffles isn't it? I knew there had to be a reason I couldn't digest your cooking."
"He probably doesn't evaporate the pot dry like some people," Ford remarked.
The scientist's face collapsed back on itself and a grimace was constructed in its place. Rodney defended, "It was that one time and I had more important things to deal with."
"Aye," Carson said, voice tinged with distant strain. "Because the only thing more important than food is some sort of scientific breakthrough."
Elizabeth surveyed them for a moment and allowed a deep breath. Her chest loosened as her heart stopped racing around looking for an escape hatch. Her eyes caught Meredith's, and Elizabeth saw that same calmness there. Elizabeth stretched her neck and struck her voice forward. "Rodney, I'm sure there's an explanation you're dying to deliver in your unique way."
He blinked. "Right. Yes. Computer technology, to be simple."
"Was that so hard?" Elizabeth prompted when he fell silent.
"No. What's hard is trying to explain quantum physics to a chimp and expecting it to form even the slightest coherent sentence."
Ford held up a hand. "Does this actually have anything to do with QP?"
"...ah," Rodney rejoined after a brief bewildered pause. "Acronyms have to actually be accepted by the general populace before you can start ascribing meaning to them."
Elizabeth tapped her temples with thumb and forefinger. "Rodney, Lefevre's contribution to linguistics always gives me a headache."
"You, get a headache off that kind of thing?" Ford asked incredulously.
"Only when Rodney starts talking about it."
Seemingly oblivious, the Head of Science skimmed his fingers over the Wraith screen and tried to dig into the material. Failure didn't exactly happen, because no one knew that he'd been trying to do. Meredith hmmed near his right ear and Rodney pinched his eyes in response. Okay, almost no one.
"Then no," he announced.
"No what?" Ford demanded.
"This is nowhere near advanced enough to run off your QP." Rodney pitted the last two syllables out off his tongue. "This schematic is for a device that is no better than one of our computers except that it – "
"They're building a weapon," Carson said flatly.
Shifting awkwardly, Rodney attempted to pass back Meredith to her father, but Carson turned away. The scientist opted for levity. "Who are you? The class TP?"
"No, he'd need an apple for that acronym," Ford chortled.
Khaki hues rained over Carson's face as he stared against the cavern wall, though his friends could only see the tightening muscles in his shoulders. Elizabeth moved over and pressed five fingerprints against his back. "Are you alright, Carson?"
"No I'm bloody not!" he snapped, spinning back to them. "This is a weapon to... I'm sure how how to describe it. Rodney?"
Managing to hold his goddaughter and gesture elaborately with his other hand, Rodney supplied, "Bonding. Your DNA is electrically fused into the systems. Those bonds would be rendered inert by this device."
"You'd be cut off from Nena," Elizabeth realised.
"That's if you're lucky," Rodney said. "Your genetic sequence has been changed permanently. You might even die."
Meredith showed exactly what she thought of everyone's horrified faces (and again, Ronon does not count in this generalisation – the Satedan looked interested, in fact) by holding up a finger and burying it into her godfather's ear. Rodney yelped and Ford quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, telling him to shut it with as few expletives as possible.
Carson slumped against the nearest table, the anger on his face dissolving into resignation. "Oh God. How far are they along?"
"Getting a little too close," Aiden conceded, walking over to palm an object beside the CMO.
Holding it out, Ford began a grim silence as all eyes took in the sight of what resembled melted Replicator blocks – to broad intense relief, they weren't exactly what they appeared to be. Wraith and Replicators in one day might indeed spoil the next.
Meredith gave a quick cry of alarm and her father stood up. Ronon leapt off the wall and flicked out his gun.
"That's not all that's getting too close," Ronon said in a small, but vibrating growl.
A gust of wind swept past as Carson Beckett bolted down the tunnel towards the echoes of feet, doom and an alien dialect.
"Did he just do that?" Ford boggled.
He was flattened against the cavern as Ronon bowled past, tracking Carson's path but not before he shouted back, "Get going!"
"We should...we should probably follow," Rodney said uncertainly while Meredith stared at the hole in the room where her father had been.
Elizabeth also stared, one side of her lips more deeply turned downwards than the other. Her gaze fell to the uneven dirt ground and then rose up again as her eyes followed the deep impressions of two sets of feet.
"No," she said. "We need to go."
Ford shook his head fiercely. "I'm not leaving them behind."
"I will not stand here, with a child no less, waiting for the Wraith to find us. Ronon will bring Carson back but for now...we're leaving!"
Dutifully, Rodney, Meredith and Aiden obeyed the command.
Elizabeth waved them ahead, pausing just long enough to aim one last look after her two missing team mates before she left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1501
Control room
Atlantis
"Ruuuuuh, ruuuuuaah," intoned Chuck under his breath in his best impression of a car alarm, then he added, "Red alert. Colonel Sheppard on deck."
A Peter Grodin-shaped shadow eclipsed Chuck as the English technician rolled past, swinging the seat of his chair around to tuck himself under the control bench. Both men began half-pressing buttons and threw a few pensive looks behind to the large screen for good measure. Grodin tapped out the first few notes of Fur Elise with the smaller fingers of his left hand over a console.
Chuck slapped Peter's hand. "What are you doing?"
"What are you doing then?" Grodin demanded.
"That's a good question," John said, pulling into the space between them in his own wheely chair.
Chuck sprang for freedom. Years of burning muscles and bullet holes gave John the advantage as he invoked full leadership control by locking a hand around Chuck's arm. John's chair skidded in the attempt, but it was a success. He missed Grodin who dropped to the floor and rolled to the other side of the control room where he began his own leap for the door.
Blocking his escape was Teyla Emmagan, late of Athos. She presented a blank face, tinged with "where are you going?" before snapping her palm under his chin. The English technician back-pedalled then tried again, which was to be his undoing. Teyla flattened to the floor and spun in the same breath, chopping him down just below the knees. Grodin contemplated the ceiling for a second or two before he started to worry about his vertebras.
Chuck buried his feet in the floor but it merely slowed the roll across to his partner. Nodding at Teyla, John grinned when she responded by planting a standard issue boot across Grodin's ribcage.
"Now you're probably wondering..." John began slowly. "...why you didn't tell me any of this earlier. I can forget that with a little time. What I need to know is where you get your goods from, because I take it you're not the biggest fans of Cadman. I'm guessing your main supplier is Zelenka, am I right?"
Grodin meeped. Chuck smiled anxiously.
"Role playing discount?" the Canadian offered.
"Was that a bribe?" John asked Teyla.
His team mate bent her knee and pushed it forward with both hands, affecting a thoughtful pose while Grodin wheezed under the extra pressure. Teyla said calmly, "It is possible that Campbell is merely telling us why his preference lay with Dr Zelenka."
"Yes, that!" Chuck added.
Grodin sighed. "Yes, why not reveal everything as soon as we're asked?"
"Lorne's in on it too!" Chuck exclaimed.
Bringing over his abandoned chair, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard straddled it backwards and manoeuvred his four wheels between the pair. He began carefully, adding weight to each new syllable, "What we have is a situation. What I need is your cooperation."
"What is the location where your last...purchase occurred?" Teyla prompted.
"Would you care for a jelly baby?" Grodin fired back haughtily before losing a gasp of air that Teyla drew out by tipping her toes between two ribs.
Chuck's bottom teeth nipped up onto his top lip and dragged back down again. He threw his hands to the nape of his neck and his fingers scribbled through his spiky but carefully kept hair. Few people were privy to touching Chuck's hair, but those who did commented that it was softer than the hair on a baby. This was probably why very few ever got close enough to discover this for themselves. Chuck thought he had an image to uphold.
Except in circumstances such as this.
"Did you ask Zelenka?" he managed.
"Of course they did!" Peter groaned. "And if Major Lorne and Sergeant Bates were aware of Radek's capture, then they would move to the...the...a place the supplier might not be aware of. Yes. Or not, because this is just conjecture, Colonel." He coughed. "And uh, Miss Emmagan." He coughed again. "Teyla, then, is it?"
Teyla and John shared a loaded glance. Chuck and Peter avoided looking at anyone.
"Haven't you asked Nena to sense them?" Peter muttered desperately.
John swiftly nodded. "Uh, it's one of those non-sensing parts of the city. There are...a few of those."
His team mate cocked an eyebrow at him and John could have sworn he heard her voice. Is that so?
I was getting around to asking Nena, he defended by tipping his head to one side and throwing up his best flyboy smile.
Teyla smiled back. If that is how you wish to remember it.
I'm probably right though.
"All we require is a location," Teyla said out loud, then ticked one side of her lips higher which made her CO wonder if she really hadn't just teased him inside his own head.
"And Chuck here has volunteered to come with us and point it out," John said.
Grodin smiled in relief to whichever gods resided in the sky of whatever this planet was called.
"As for Grodin..." John began.
Silence.
John stood up, kicking his chair back towards the console. "Teyla can decide that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1509
Wraith laboratory
M4B-1313
A fork in the tunnel had sent Carson Beckett careening down the left, because it seemed to be the thing to do. But his blurring footfalls had not allowed logic to stop him long enough to listen carefully to the echoes. Luckily for him, his tracker was one part instinct and one part common sense. Not so luckily, or so Carson thought, was that despite his brain cells being zapped into a whole new level of advanced, he still had no way of avoiding the tackle that Ronon performed to slam him against the wall, halting his progress.
Ronon Dex retracted his hands, while his chipped eyes darted around the very enclosed and very dead end that they found themselves in. Aside from an interface and a few bone fragments in one rounded not-quite corner, there was a distant lack of defensible areas. Ronon growled.
"I wonnae let them!" Carson babbled, sliding along the wall away from him. "I need ta take care of this. You wouldna understand."
"They killed my wife!" Ronon bellowed.
Beckett halted in his retreat and sank to the ground, blue eyes engaging into twin gaping Stargates. "Lad, I...Ronon...I didnae know."
"Now you do," Dex said lowly. He struck out a hand. "Still want to get yourself killed, Beckett? Your wife will get lonely."
When Carson extended his arm to accept the offer of help, he fumbled as Ronon grasped his wrist intead of his hand as he'd expected. The dirt under Carson's ankles tipped as he was levered up. He tried again. "But they have this weapon..."
"You want to beat up some Wraith? I can understand that. We'll have to do it now because they're probably blocking our exit."
"Oh lovely," Carson murmured.
Ronon smirked. "C'mon, Beckett. You need to get your hands dirty sometime."
"Have I ever told you about the time I electrocuted a Wraith?"
"Want to show me instead?" suggested Ronon, whose hard eyes warned that no praises would be granted unless it actually worked.
"Sounds like a plan."
In truth, Carson didn't know if his abilities extended far from his home. But the voice of Rodney McKay slinging along his synapses suggested that if a virus could affect him in an off-world situation, then shouldn't he run a personal trial?
Ronon's shoulders, seemingly set apart by a metre of solid muscle (thought rationally, Carson knew it could no more be a metre than Rodney's cooking skills could be called a success), hunkered down as the Satedan prepared his charge. The king of Atlantis copied the stance, though he glanced anxiously about, expecting the attack to come from any which way.
"Stay close," warned Ronon.
"Aye," Carson agreed, but inched towards a nearby Wraith interface.
His companion noticed, nodded, and positioned himself further in front.
The first three Wraith marched into view. Blue blasts curved through the air to smack against the cave walls; the power settings must have been adjusted a little higher because chips skittered away from the rock and soil they had been loyal to for millennia. A ball of itchy red light hurtled back in response, burrowing into the chest of one drone and sending it into a thrashing puddle of limbs and snarls.
Ronon continued to fire with his left hand as he strode forward. Bodies and the still able-bodied crowded through the minute entrance, seeming to respond in frame-by-frame mode as Dex whipped out his blade with his other hand and slipped it from one victim to the next. Awed, Carson watched with distraction until the Satedan began to fall back.
His back to the interface, Carson felt his way behind and plunged ten digits on, into, through the components. Murky text and equations slimed up before his eyes and he choked on air for a few seconds as the alien technology encased him.
"Duck!" shouted Carson.
Ronon dived to the floor, looking up to catch the bright green dancing through the doctor's eyes just before Carson also joined him. The interface shook, expanded, debated whether or not it was safer to remain where it was, then exploded. Barbs of electricity shuddered out like ripples in every direction, but on one level – conveniently the height of the drones' upper torsos.
Both men stared as the Wraith shook violently in place. They winced as the scent of freshly singed skin wended through the air, more foul and astute than human flesh had ever been in their memories.
"I get it now," Ronon said aside.
Carson blinked. "Get what, lad?"
"I get why she nailed you," chortled his companion before tunnelling forward on his hands and knees.
Laughing hard enough to form of a crater in the dirt in front of him, the king of Atlantis poised on all fours before he weaved past frying corpses and arcing light to follow Ronon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1515
South Pier
Atlantis
Four metal legs bounced, squealed and stilled. Not content with this, Laura Cadman grabbed the back of the chair by both sides with a clenched grip and threw her captive backwards. The short gap between chair and wall ripped the abortive swear word from Zelenka's throat. He considered himself lucky that he had been cowering forward enough to miss striking the back of his skull against very durable Lantean metal and plexiglass.
"Of course they would not come for me, of course," Radek spat. "How unwise of me to believe I was speaking to a human being!"
"If I was a human, then that wouldn't be a very nice thing to say," Nena said, pouting over Laura's shoulder at him.
Zelenka scowled. He had almost escaped their little trap, but Cadman had distracted his dash with a well-timed shout of 'Run, rabbit, run run run!' – or something very much like it. Whatever the evil spell had been, his face still smarted from where it met a closed door which he was very sure had never been a door before in the history of Atlantis.
"I will not discuss this," Radek said and looked to the side, inspecting the rim around the nearest window.
The scenery abruptly shifted into the form of Nena who flashed between the window and the Czech in the briefest of milliseconds. Clicking noises indicated her attempt to tsk, though Zelenka didn't want to mention that she should keep her tongue inside her mouth. Nena said with increasing volume, "To human beings such as yourself, I am sure my daughter must seem highly advanced. She is not. Yet. Her attachment to you and her attempts to solve your situation are sweet – very sweet! But the leader of this city is Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Not my Meredith. And especially not you, Radek. Your battles must be fought as an adult! Please tell us how to disengage all of Meredith's protocols and I'd be very happy if you blocked her with the subroutine until she is of an age to understand this."
"And believe me, Zelenka, we do have ways of making you talk," Laura added with a leer.
"She ruined my life!" Radek hurled at the now vacant window, which quietly glowed with the last bursts of serious sunshine.
Rolling his head back around, he stared levelly at both of them. Laura shrugged, beginning to turn until Nena pinched her elbow and nodded meaningfully at their victim. Nena reminded her, "You are part of this. I am sure this would make Elizabeth very cranky if she heard about it."
"I am sorry," Radek murmured.
"Ditto," Laura agreed.
"I may not know much about humans, but a compromise is universal, is it not?"
Scientist and marine eyed each other skeptically. Beaming at them, Nena tapped the side of her head, mimicking the common headset gesture, and announced, "Radek is being such a help."
"Good to hear that," responded a very terse John. "Get everyone back to the transporter."
"Okay!" sang back Nena.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1516
Thickly wooded forest
M4B-1313
Dusty royal blue shades covered the planet as the star dived into the horizon earlier than on Atlantis. This would have been fine for cover, except that wherever no tree was – say, the clearing around the cave where Rodney, Meredith, Elizabeth and Aiden waited – there were instead seas of grass that bloomed silver the instant nighttime touched them.
Rodney hid behind a rock with his goddaughter. Aiden lurked around the perimeter of trees. Elizabeth zipped her fingers together and swung her hands awkwardly, passing the time. She kept to the trees as well, but stayed a good deal further out after one of the trees started braying at her. Sneaking a look to her watch, and finding that the light display was unhelpfully dead, Elizabeth Weir uncrossed her arms and strode out into the light, ready to spout a few words.
"M'am, either we wait here or we go back in and get them," former Lt. Aiden Ford said quickly before she could even begin.
"I'm not saying we should leave them," Elizabeth fenced.
A high pitched vocal complaint made her swing around to glare at trees briefly. A moment later, Rodney leapt up from his hidey hole, jostling Meredith uneasily from arm to arm as she sobbed. When Elizabeth caught his eyes with her own, she knew her inaudible gasp of horror was clear as day in the silver sheen ghosting over her face. Rodney hurriedly deposited Meredith with his boss and snatched the gun off his leg holster. He held out his other hand and snapped it at Ford. "Weapon. You'll have one, won't you, even though you're not supposed to."
"Yeah, I'm packing. Why the interest?"
"I am a godfather, therefore it is kind of my responsibility to protect my goddaughter when Carson isn't here," Rodney burst out. "And in, oh say, 10 seconds we're going to have a few unwelcome guests from our past."
Ford rolled one good eye. "Okay, fine, McKay. Dr Weir, it'd probably be a good idea to find some cover."
Elizabeth did just that and was briefly frustrated when her young charge grizzled at the change of guardian. She didn't have enough time to feel the entire brunt of being put out because 9.382 seconds later, two humanoids emerged from the cave and threw themselves on the ground as though an explosion had blown them out.
Yelling incomprehensibly, Rodney kept both eyes open as he fired each singular shot into what could only be described as a nightmare stream of opponents...well, the number wasn't important so much as the stress level, correct? His firing partner had better luck with a small semi-automatic that could not have slipped into any cavities that Elizabeth would have thought to check; she watched with a burgeoning smile. Meredith caught her mood and laughed.
"I told you they'd take care of it," Ronon declared, flinging himself up off his paws. He nodded at Ford. "Good work. Fast too."
Aiden shrugged modestly.
Carson jogged over to Rodney and cuffed his friend on the side of the shoulder, beaming. No words were spoken, but the worried scowl on the scientist's face dipped into a smug response quickly before wrinkling up again into Rodney's patented irritated expression. "Right, well you can all stay here chatting while the Wraith run after us, so I'm going to run this way to the 'gate." He pointed and sprinted.
"No arguments here," Elizabeth said. "Alright, keep up everyone."
She passed Meredith back to her father and took off after Rodney. Those under her command followed.
"I'm sorry yer first trip off-world was like this, lass," Carson panted as he tried to juggle strides over and around logs with the firm grip he was maintaining on his daughter. "Ye'll never want to go through the damn Stargate again. It's bloody insanity."
Meredith was too busy humming to pay him much mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1524
Opposite the mess hall
Atlantis
A growing crowd of military, civilians, scientists, gate technicians and other assorted beings ambled about in front of a locked storage closet. Some had been directly seeking the last stand of Sergeant Donald Bates and Major Evan Lorne, but most were curiously drawn to the gathering on their exit or entrance to the mess hall in search of, predominantly, coffee.
Colonel Sheppard did not deliver an order to disperse, not because he was a Cool Guy, but because he didn't want to make it into an even bigger deal than it was. Steel hand gripped around Chuck's left biceps and triceps, John refused to let his guide vanish even though they had – apparently – reached their destination.
"I thought you saw everything, no?" Zelenka asked Nena, indicating the closet.
"Your subroutine diverted my attention," Nena explained patiently, though the pixels forming her green eyes flickered orange, which made the scientist swallow. "I see most things anyway, but there's a rather sizable gap in my sensors in some places because of last year's storm which I notice had left a mess that no one bothered to clean up."
Sheppard turned a scowl over his shoulder. "We've kind of had other things to worry about. And Carson hasn't exactly said anything."
Chuck nodded emphatically as John's fingers dug in further.
"John," Teyla said reprovingly. Limbs retracted and the crowd parted to let the Athosian through and she seated a hand on John's back. Dipping her head towards Nena, Teyla continued firmly, "Acknowledge the existing problem, as it is under your current duties and responsibilities."
John sighed, collecting himself. "Nena, I'm sorry about the mess and I'm sorry I wasn't in charge – or even aware of the problem – at the time. I'll fix it."
"That's so not nailed," Laura Cadman noted to several on-lookers, who tittered on cue.
The only one of the team who heard was Zelenka, who frowned over the rim of his glasses at her. "You have been speaking to Ronon."
"Yep," Laura said cheerfully. "So who or what have you nailed lately?"
Radek grinned down at the floor and his head jiggled with glee. The Lieutenant's mouth snapped open, before sealing up into a wide smile. She snatched her competitor's hand, curled his fingers over and bumped his fist with hers. Bewildered, the Czech let his hand fall loose, but he had no qualms about the handshake that Laura proceeded to give him. This could indeed be the start of beautiful partnership...and party. Preferably soon.
"Your plan," Teyla prompted John.
"I don't want to be using stunners or anything else, because that's a little extreme."
Laura stepped forward with her suggestion. "Hand-to-hand, sir?"
"Grudge match!" shouted someone in the corridor. It echoed in whispers.
Shooting a glare around at those under his command, John was momentarily pleased when gazes were cowed and voices stilled. Teyla interrupted his glory, "I assume you will be happy to delegate this activity?"
"This is not a one-man job," John decided, grinning.
"I think I will go...eat something," Chuck mumbled and slipped from John's distracted grasp.
Nena pressed a hand to the door and nodded at John.
He nodded back.
The door whooshed open, revealing Bates, Lorne and a truly epic stash of stimulants, relaxants and other unmentionables. Bates had torn out a panel and was already shuffling crystals.
"Sir," Bates began testily and got no further.
Several bodies slammed into the storage closet and Colonel John Sheppard was proud to admit (though certainly not to Elizabeth later) that he spearheaded the attack. The black eye that showed up two days later, delivered by Lorne's elbow gouging up at him after the Major had been pressed to the ground, was totally worth it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1545
Gateroom
Atlantis
When the hot and panting holiday-makers splashed out of the Stargate, John was waiting at the foot of the stairs with Nena. After several tense minutes of listening to a radio transmission of gunfire, swearing and lectures on swearing in front of children, the time had come to welcome back the off-world party.
John held up a hand in reserved greeting, though Nena chose to throw her arms around her husband and daughter. The three of them had a quiet reunion off to one side.
"Colonel Sheppard, would you care to explain?" Elizabeth demanded.
Wincing as he glanced back around to see various members of the expedition looking like they'd been crammed into a blender, John forced a vague smile. "Uh, not really. But how about you guys – you're back early. What happened?"
"Just a secret Wraith lab with a new weapon," Elizabeth replied wearily. "Will you be wanting that report soon, Colonel?"
John coughed out a laugh. "Nah, Elizabeth, this job's all yours. It's not what I thought it would be."
"I know exactly what you mean."
Meanwhile, Rodney edged away from Ronon and Aiden who were both sending evil grins in his direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Not Quite A Week Later ~
0630
A balcony
God-knows-where
Major Evan Lorne had woken on better days, but this one was rather exceptional if the red glow on his eyelids was any indication. A breeze trailed over his skin, but he was insulated against the chill of the cooler currents flowing around Atlantis by a rather outstanding sunshine. He sent a hand out searching for the alarm clock to pull it in front of his face. A tangle of hair cut into his skin.
Lorne's eyes shot open. In two seconds, he realised that A) he had slept out on a balcony, B) he seemed to be almost but not entirely nude, C) the same could be said of Lieutenant Cadman lying beside him and D) – wait WHAT?
"Well that's different," he muttered.
He flattened his hand and gingerly picked off the strawberry blonde strands with his other fingers. Laura did not stir, but Evan inched his way back inside, casting an eye around for his clothes. Actually, he couldn't remember bringing clothes, but then again he couldn't even remember how the hell this happened. Something about a...party?
He frowned because A) he'd torn the frat regs to pieces, B) there was no way he'd have ended up in such a position with Laura Cadman of all people, C) WHY didn't he remember anything and D) –
"Meredith!" he whispered loudly. "Where am I?"
No answer. Evan gulped. The silence was probably due to Meredith finally sleeping or being successfully reigned in by a subroutine, but it really didn't help.
He hesitated long enough to smile in bemusement at the woman sleeping on the balcony before escaping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0830
Gateroom
Atlantis
"Are you sure you don't want to hang around a bit?" John Sheppard asked lightly. "Get some rays, catch the latest football video they sent over..."
Aide's chin slipped down a bit, but he smiled. "I think I'm going to catch the next one live. Keep them out of trouble," he directed at Ronon.
Ronon slowly grinned. "Shouldn't be too hard to do with you out of the galaxy."
Seeing Rodney awkwardly shift his feet, Ford snorted and clapped him on the shoulder. The scientist started. "What was that for?"
"Why not? I like you enough not to flatten you. And besides, you've given me enough comic relief to last a year."
"About that..." Rodney paused, glancing briefly to Teyla who nodded back at him. "I'm not one for the Sheppard one-liners, so...so..."
He handed over a plastic eyepatch that had probably begun its life as part of a child's Halloween costume. Rodney in fact knew exactly where it come from – Zelenka had never been as broad minded as Laura Cadman when it came to exotic goods, so to speak.
Ford slipped it over his head and nodded. "Thanks, McKay."
"Don't – don't mention it."
Three figures burst into existence with a shower of white sparks. Judging by the wince of Carson's face, it was probably due to Meredith who gave everyone her best blank smile.
"You only just came back and you're off again!" Nena exclaimed.
Ford readjusted the bag slung over his shoulder to shrug. "That's just how it goes. I'll see if I can visit, but it probably won't happen."
"Goodbye, lad," Carson said. "I'm sure we'll see that face of yers again."
Meredith waved a hand. Aiden waved back.
"Respect your parents," he said seriously. "'Coz no one else here does."
"Oh get on with ye!"
Aiden snapped a salute to John, then threw one up to the control room where Elizabeth was watching. He kept his straight face long enough to say, "Hurts like hell, guys..."
With a wild whoop, the Lieutenant hurled himself backwards through the event horizon.
Farewells are never easy, but as the 'gate deactivated and the wormhole's blue glow rescinded, Carson was struck with a sense of even greater finality. He stared up at the gate and wondered. Carson stole a look about his friends, then to his wife.
"I'm not going anywhere," Nena said quietly, as though sensing his thoughts, then added lightly, "I can't fly off with only one ZPM!"
"Do ye suppose we have enough time to reattempt Meredith's human education?"
"Carson...she already knows how to crawl. She was just playing with you."
Meredith absently blew bubbles from her lips.
"She's far too much like her mum," Carson grumbled.