Not Another Chair Story
Story 7 - Not So Little Boys Pt 1
Written 2009-present.
Some time around lunch
January 2005
Atlantis
Carson Beckett stood behind eleven scientists, who were all clutching metal mugs and weaving on their feet. Today's menu consisted of some pulpy Athosian vegetable and the very last watery dregs of coffee officially available. The grains may have been sloshed through multiple times, but the very thought of even an insy bit of caffeine lured in all manner of stressed personnel into the mess.
"Hey, doc," greeted Aiden from behind him.
After turning to face his companion, Carson then chortled and waved a hand to indicate the people ahead of them. "Come to witness the mad dash have ye, son?"
Lt. Ford leaned to one side to get a better look at the buffet table. His nose crumpled up into his face. "Okay, we really have to talk to McKay about eating all the good stuff. Where'd they get that from?"
"Teyla suggested it," Carson replied, an eyebrow raised. "She seemed ta think it was a good source of protein, which I'm sure we all need in the next week or so."
A pause. Then the younger man forced a grin and licked his lips. Chortling, the CMO steered him away from the queue of irritable coffee-aholics and into a sunny corner of the mess hall. Once they were seated, Caron held out his arm palm down and shook the limb. A chocolate bar snaked out from the sleeve of his labcoat, skidding across to land in front of Ford.
Aiden inhaled it in two breaths, then remembered his manners. Sheepishly, he passed back the wrapper. "Thanks. I don't suppose you have any more of that hidden around someplace."
"No, actually that was my last," Carson admitted. "But I hear Zelenka has a stash ye might consider bribing him to part with."
"Nah, he probably needs it more. Speaking of, uh, protein, is there anything Nena needs?"
Dr Beckett warily regarded his companion and saw only frank curiosity in Ford's eyes. Relaxing back into this chair, Carson said cheerfully, "Now I realise this might be strange to ye still, but Nena isn't like us. I suppose she could have a wee bite, as she has managed some corporeality, though it wouldnae do anything for her. I donae know myself what the lass needs."
"My grandparents kinda raised me so I don't know how the whole parenting thing goes."
"Yer grandparents?" Carson repeated in surprise.
"Yeah. I may not know about this stuff, but I reckon you'd make a good father. Just let your daughter have some fun once in a while."
"And leave her to yer influence no doubt."
The Lieutenant grinned. "Hey, someone's gotta pass on the position of pissing off McKay."
"I'll keep that in mind," Carson said dryly. "And – thankye, Aiden."
"Uh, what for?"
"I'm sure ye'll figure tha' out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too bloody early
September 2005
Atlantis
Sleep didn't exactly rank high on John Sheppard's priority list right about now, but it was the only thing he could so while sitting beside a bed in the infirmary. He last checked his watch a while ago, and it may have said midnight then. Possibly hours later, though still floating in the darkness of the room, John waited. He might have even sent a small prayer off into the ether, though he wasn't sure who was supposed to answer. God or the Ancients, or someone else maybe.
"John, ye should be in bed," Carson reproached, leaving his office to stand beside him. "I promise to let ye know the moment he regains consciousness."
"I need to be here when he wakes up," John said bluntly.
For a few moments, both men watched the reluctant rise and fall of the patient's chest, and listened carefully for any sharp intake of breath that would signal a change. The days since they'd brought a limping and wild-eyed Lt. Aiden Ford back to Atlantis had been frustrating for John. While his team mate had been spirited away, he'd been forced to sit down and spit out sentence after sentence about what happened – in earshot of Caldwell, no less.
John thought it didn't matter how they got Ford back, just that he was here. And he was finally off his kick. Except now there was that other problem. That problem was the slight detail of a replaced team member.
"I keep thinking if I'd spent more time talking to him than throwing orders at him..." Sheppard hesitated. "I keep thinking...this is kind of my fault."
"Oh aye, it's yer fault the Wraith beamed into the city, left a mess and put Aiden in a position to get all that enzyme. Diabolical, that plan."
A muscle beneath John's eye twitched. "Carson, you know I appreciate your friendship, but I'm thinking it's probably a good idea I didn't bring my gun in here."
"I see," the CMO said gruffly. "And I suppose I don't feel any worse, given that this crusade of his had something to do with Meredith and myself."
"How do you figure that?"
"I don't know, John. Jus' somethin' the lad said to me once, about not having his parents. I suppose he thought he was protecting Meredith from that fate."
"He had a warped way of doing that."
"And do ye think ye'd have done it differently?"
"Even on enzyme, I wouldn't have run off half-cocked into the galaxy with some crazy scheme in mind! I don't buy it from you, Carson. What I did...was...I didn't give the kid enough guidance and I was his CO – it's my job."
"Not meaning to point fingers here, but it's kind of my fault too," Aiden piped up from the bed.
Carson and John both stared at him.
Ford sighed. "Guys, I'm fine. I mean, I don't just feel fine, I am."
"Aye, we've heard that before," Carson said under his breath.
"No, listen. Doc, Colonel – I'm not about to hijack any Hive Ships, if that helps. I feel...awake. More lucid than I've been in months. But...can you tell me one thing? What's my eye look like?"
John winced. "Are you sure you want an answer to that?"
"That good, huh?"
"I donae know, Aiden...it makes ye look, oh, slightly rakish," Carson supplied with a small smile. "The ladies will like it, I'm sure."
Ford's lips twisted. "Good, wouldn't want to ruin my image. Beckett, you don't happen to have any chocolate bars up your sleeve do you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0700
A storage closet
Somewhere near the South Pier
The panel that sealed the storage closet from the outside corridor whooshed back in a neat and streamlined fashion, admitting the fiend responsible for such responsive controls. It had taken many hours during the time that Rodney had been detained aboard the Deadalus on the way back to Atlantis, but Radek Zelenka had finally found and dusted off his little piece of heaven.
Today it doubled as a cramped war room. Of course, it wouldn't be so squishy if Bates hadn't insisted on donning his BDU, as he usually did of late. Rumours naturally abounded that he was compensating for something, possibly the entire lack of any such protection on his 2IC Evan Lorne. The latter wore a shirt and pants, and nothing else. What "nothing else" entails was up to anyone's imagination.
The last member of the meeting took up even more space than the padded Donald Bates. Arms bulging as they crossed in front of his chest, the city's resident Satedan made no move to shift aside for Radek.
"Ah, what is he doing here?" Zelenka demanded, eyeing Ronon with the age-old trepidation wired into the DNA of academics living in the shadows of very tall, very athletic and very dread-locked men.
"Don't worry about it," Lorne assured him.
A odd curdling mixed with a low baritone note clawed its way out of Sergeant Bates' throat.
"Sorry, did you say something?" Lorne flung at him.
"Okay, you're the 2IC and I call the shots," Bates reminded his comrade.
Zelenka tipped his head back to place Ronon squarely in the magnification of his lenses. The Satedan nibbled idly on a thumb nail, before shrugging towards Radek who was taken aback by the companionable gesture.
"You don't know why he is here," Zelenka deduced finally, then raised his voice, "Meredith!"
Silence.
Ronon's teeth found the chipped nail of his index finger.
"I swear I saw her fifteen minutes ago in the transporter," Lorne supplied. "But I don't know, she's a fast kid. She could be anywhere."
Just typical, thought Radek. For the past fortnight, it had been deemed an unusual day if the youngest member of the Atlantis expedition didn't suddenly wheel past in mid-air before vanishing into a wall – at least three times in fewer minutes. And now, just when the crucial link in the War on Affordable Contraband was needed, she was nowhere to be found.
Already, the legend of Meredith Beckett's refusal to learn to crawl in her physical form had been spun through all the departments – enough that when a small figure bounced through the corridors giggling, they offered a mug of coffee to thin air for the poor father. Carson sometimes took those offers seriously.
"Maybe Beckett tried to get her crawling again," Ronon said.
"Doubtful," Bates said to this. "Dr Beckett's been in the infirmary all night with Lieutenant Ford. Probably making sure he doesn't start shooting up the place again – I told Colonel Sheppard we need to post more than one guard on the door..."
A tinny sneeze drew their attention to the middle of the closet. Meredith sat, rocking from her ankles to her backside and back again. Someone – probably her despairing father – had adorned her in a frilly white dress and a pair of pink booties no one had as yet owned up to making. There were 10-1 odds of it being John Sheppard's handiwork, and a bizarrely favourable 2-1 on Ronon.
"Right, now that we're all here," Bates said briskly.
"And we don't want to know why Ronon is here," Lorne added, casting a bemused smile down at Meredith. "But it'd sure help if we knew what was going on in that head of yours."
Bates glowered.
Evan rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, you get to be chairman, boss."
"I get it now," Ronon mused.
Zelenka blinked at him. "Get what?"
"Why you haven't nailed Lt. Cadman yet. You talk too much."
"Uh, does he know both the meanings of 'nailed'?" ventured Lorne cautiously.
Bates grinned evilly. "I don't see how that's relevant, but you probably do talk too much that way too."
"Hey, Cadman and I never really talk much. She hands my ass to me before I can get a word in."
The walls of the storage closet dissolved into white noise, accompanied by loud angry buzzing. Radek clapped his hands over his ears and shut one eye, squinting out the other. Meredith mumbled to herself and clapped her hands. One moment she was sitting there, next she was an image on the wall.
Beside her form, a screen snapped up. It showed a seemingly inconsequential door on yet another bland beige-coloured wall. A bright red X dashed across the door.
"Well we knew that already," Bates said. "X marks the spot."
The image dissolved into red Ancient text that crawled slowly into English, which then spread out to fill around a blue-print (or rather, green-print, as was Meredith's preference) of the city. Zelenka had suggested a timeline of each implementation of the plan, something which had caused a bit of a tiff with Meredith who had locked him in his shower for a few hours. Explaining that away had been difficult, especially as the struggling kingpin of chocolate and coffee had no wish for anyone (read: Rodney McKay) to find out that he needed a child to help him.
"Does no one think it odd we are taking information from a baby?" Zelenka asked, belatedly he knew.
"She knows everything in the city," Lorne pointed out.
Ronon smirked. "You should be more worried about why she's telling you this stuff."
A shiver zig-zagged between Radek's shoulder blades. He cleared his throat and bounded for the door, preferring not to dwell on that too closely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0800
Rodney's Lair
A desirable zip code of Atlantis
Teyla looked at the shoes, set parallel to each other on the lab bench, before she finally shook her head and turned to leave the lab. She had made it one step from the corridor before Rodney McKay hurtled in and clipped her shoulder as he slapped his bare feet over the floor. His toe hit the corner of the bench and he swore grumpily, hopping around the table to flick open his lapop. He looked up and saw his visitor.
"Okay, the silence is a good start," Rodney acknowledged. "But any brilliant mind can't work if there's someone looking over his shoulder or...not over the shoulder because you're in front of me. Did you want something, apart from the staring thing?"
"You seem busy," Teyla observed. "It can wait."
Rodney's eyes went wide. "Nonono, you're pulling the face."
"The...face?" Teyla repeated.
"Yeah, you get this really closed off look on your face when you're not impressed with someone and usually I wouldn't mind seeing that, because it's aimed at Wraith or any other bad guys who happen to inhabit this galaxy – but look, not at me! Whatever it is – I'll do it, just don't pull the face."
"Very well," Teyla said, bringing her inward smile to bear. "I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast."
"What, with you?"
"Or you could sit at a separate table to make it seem like I am not there," Teyla suggested.
"Hmm. Did John put you up to this? This is totally him. Put the hot girl in front of the geek guy and – "
"Rodney!" Teyla interrupted. "This is a request made from friendship. I consider you a friend."
Rodney's face dipped behind the laptop as he slouched. "Huh. You don't – not even a little? It's the hair, isn't it."
"No, Rodney, I think your hair is fine. What you lack in manners, you have in the goodness of your heart. I don't see you anyway except for the gifted and – likeable friend that you are. I am sure that one day there will be someone who sees you as something more."
Rodney was silent for a good twenty seconds before he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Right. Yes. Breakfast. We should, uh go."
Teyla shook her head at his retreating back. She waited.
Rodney walked briskly back in and swiped his shoes onto the floor with one arm, stuffing his feet into them. He pointed towards the door and headed out once more. This time Teyla followed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0815
Atlantis control room
In eyeshot of some great views
Standing in the dead centre of the control room, hands linked behind her back, Elizabeth Weir did her best impression of an immovable mountain. Flatly, almost to the point of seeming disinterested, she addressed the view screen in front of her. "General Landry, I understand the need to return Lt. Ford to Earth, but we – I believe his rehabilitation should begin here, among those who can sympathise."
"Dr Weir, do you think I spend my time giving orders in the hope that someone takes it as a fun suggestion?"
Elizabeth fought hard to keep her tone even. "I take this very seriously, as it concerns a member of my expedition – "
"May I remind you, this member of your expedition endangered the security of Atlantis and of Earth by extension. Hardly the actions that warrant sympathy."
The 'gate died abruptly. Elizabeth started, and was not surprised a moment later when Nena flashed beside her. She was bemused, however, to see that the city's sentience seemed to vibrate with agitation and her usually tidy auburn hair had turned into a wiry helmet hanging around her head.
"Do I even want to ask?" Weir wondered.
Nena slid her hands over her hair, flattening the mess in a heartbeat. "I am sorry, Elizabeth, but Meredith is getting into the systems. This is like a big toy for her."
"And I suppose she thought she was helping me."
"Yes," Nena said, blinking.
"Nena, much as I would like never to speak with General Landry again..." Elizabeth stopped and curved her hand over the side of her face, one finger massaging her temple. "...this is important. In two days, the SGC expects Lt. Ford to walk through the event horizon and leave here forever."
"He could disappear?" Nena said brightly. "You Earthlings have barely scouted out half of the city and there are many places I could hide Aiden, if you like."
Elizabeth's lips softened at the suggestion, but she didn't make it into a smile. "I admit I'm surprised. I thought...you wouldn't take too kindly to Ford after what he did when the Wraith were attacking."
"Perhaps I am getting a bit lazy in my old age."
"You don't look any more than thirty," Elizabeth told her.
"That's sweet of you to say, but I do have a lot of corrosion that wasn't helped any by the storm last year..."
Laughter filled the control room and it took several moments for Dr Weir to realise that it was her own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0900
Briefing room
Somewhere with no windows whatsoever
Only when a technician informed her that she was late did Elizabeth Weir slowly approach the briefing room. Sliding through one of the door panels and then waiting for it to seal into a wall behind her, she nodded to each of those in attendance. Colonel Caldwell had taken a seat slightly off-centre, sandwiching Aiden Ford between himself and John on the other side. Carson looked comfortable by comparison, though he was wedged onto one corner of the oddly shaped table.
Elizabeth stood before them, looking down to where they were seated. She drew a long breath, and held it.
"This is a waste of time," Caldwell announced.
She let out a stale gasp of air. "Is it? We are talking about the future of one of our own."
"You have your orders, I have mine," the Daedalus commander said with a hint of a smile. "Should there be any reason you're unable to do so, I'm sure I can fill in."
John opened his mouth, but Carson beat him to it. "Aye, but ye can wait two days. Failing tha', you might find yeself unable to rectify that situation if ye were...locked in a storage closet."
Caldwell eyed him. "Are you threatening me, doctor?"
"No one's threatening anyone," John placated, but with a grin. "I'd hear Dr Weir out before you start jumping the gun on us."
"Excuse me, can I speak for myself?" Ford asked, lifting his eyes from the table.
"Please do," invited Elizabeth, still standing.
Caldwell crossed his arms on the table. "This'll be good."
"I did something stupid," Aiden began, the lid over his black eye bulging as he tried to close his eyes briefly. "I'm not saying I didn't. But you don't know how the enzyme feels. It makes you feel like Superman or something. Except there's no Kryptonite. The more you get, the more you need until you'll do just about anything to get a taste. I'm not proud of it. But it's not...it's not all my fault!"
The frustration that burst from him at the end made him shrink into the chair like a chastised child. Elizabeth bit her tongue to remind herself not to appear moved. She prompted, "What about now? Do you want it?"
"Yeah," Ford admitted. "But it's not...it's not like that anymore. I think."
"Do you want to stay on Atlantis?" asked Caldwell so quietly that Elizabeth took a step forward to hear him.
"A week'd be nice. Two days isn't enough. But I really just want to go home."
"You'll get your wish," Col. Caldwell said simply and left the room.
"Well now what was tha' about?" Carson asked, bewildered.
John tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Caldwell isn't the bad guy. He gets it. And besides, Nena knows where he hides his motorcycle doesn't she?"
"Motorcycle!" Elizabeth repeated, eyebrows lifting. "Carson, I asked you and Nena to not keep secrets from me."
The aforementioned sentience swung her legs as she sat on the edge of the table next to her husband. John flicked a couple of fingers toward Nena in greeting. Ford stared at her mutely.
"You seem rather quiet all of a sudden, Aiden," Nena noted. "I'm sure if I had normal ears, I still would have heard you all the way over on the South pier. I would have been here earlier, but Meredith was doing something over there..."
The lights flickered.
Elizabeth glanced down at her hands and linked them together, straightening them to form a bridge of her knuckles. She pressed them to her lips and thought very briefly.
"Lieutenant Ford," she said, smiling either side of her hands. "You have a week to settle your affairs. Might I suggest not commiserating around here?"
Nena beamed. "A good idea! I know just the place – there's this address in the database. It's uninhabited but very nice. There are pictures of a lake so you can go fishing, Carsie-buns."
Someone snickered. No one wanted to own up to it.
Carson sighed. "Aye, love. Fishing."
"And you should go, Elizabeth," Nena finished.
Dr Weir dropped her hands. "Excuse me?"
"It's not like the place is going to fall apart with Nena looking after it," John reminded her.
"You seem to be forgetting that in all matters of defence the IOA only accepts the judgement of a human – no offence, Nena, I know you would not endanger us."
"I'll stay."
Everyone looked at John.
"You're staying, sir?" Ford clarified.
Colonel Sheppard leaned to the side to get a good look at his subordinate. Sure, the black eye was creepier than even his fourth grade teacher's glass one, but he had to remember the kid that had leapt backwards through a Stargate with galactic glee. Running wild out in the galaxy might have slapped some sense into Aiden Ford, but the full agonising regret hadn't yet blasted into his brain.
John knew all about that kind of regret. He'd been lucky the only retribution had been the indignity of being busted down to Major a couple of years ago. Ford had a freaking black eye. He was an enzyme-aholic and...still hero-worshipped the asshole who'd dragged him into a Dart hanger and zapped him away. A hell of an intervention.
"When you get back," John said with a nod, "we'll talk. You kids go have fun. I'll call if anything happens."
Of course, at that moment, what John Sheppard meant by "anything" was "impending doom courtesy of the friendly neighbourhood Wraith". What fate had in store for him was more along the lines of "a clash of black market kingpins, and a party to which any authority figures were not invited".
That kind of sucked actually, because two years ago a dishonoured Major would have been in on the party from the start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1330
M4B-1313
Somewhere in the Pegasus Galaxy
No matter how Rodney stressed that a Puddlejumper was required for what essentially was a vacation, Elizabeth had flat out refused. Not only was the perennial boy scout tasked with carrying a camo-tent through the gate, he had to set it up. For the first two hours of their trip, Rodney paced between two trees, trying to find soil that wasn't too hard for his back or too soft for the tent pegs to hold.
Watching with amusement were Aiden Ford and his charge – Meredith, who seemed to have no problem being awkwardly held while the Lieutenant looked around hopefully for anyone to save him from his predicament. He had no problem with kids – there were always enough of those around his grandparents' house. But this was Beckett's daughter and Ford knew he'd only just jumped back on the wagon. He settled for laughing nervously at Rodney. Meredith blew bubbles.
"I don't think it's any harder than rocket science, Rodney," Elizabeth pointed out, lying back against one of the trees and trying to shift with the changing shade to keep the sun off her PDA screen.
Carson chuckled quietly from his perch in a tree. No one was entirely sure how he'd got up there, or indeed so quickly, though Rodney suspected that Lantean technology was somehow enabling the CMO to teleport. No such thing existed on M4B-1313, or so Nena reckoned.
Ford stepped forward, slipping Meredith around to his left side. "I'll help you, McKay."
"No. I know where this is going and no."
A pause, then – "So where is this going?"
"You'll make one or two little jokes, the audience will laugh and applaud and it will leave me at a disadvantage come dinner time."
Ford paused and counted to ten. To his credit, it wasn't enzyme he wanted right that second – but to deliver a good smack to a certain physicist. Oh, hell with it. He marched over, Meredith in one arm and scooped up a tent peg in the other. He hurled the peg down through the hook at one corner of the tent and it stuck fast.
Rodney stared at the hand Ford held out to him. The scientist's expression hovered between an indignant storm cloud and a worried uncle. Sensing more than one pair of eyes squinting at him suspiciously, Ford half-growled, "Look, I'm not hopped up anymore. I've been camping and I have pretty good aim sometimes."
Rodney opened his mouth to deliver his best urinal joke.
"Don't even think about it, Rodney," Elizabeth warned, eyes now fixed back onto her PDA.
The moment passed a little awkwardly before Aiden handed over Meredith to her godfather. Barely a minute later, Ford stepped back from the staked tent and gestured elegantly at it. He tossed a challenging grin at McKay, which was caught, regarded, and then turned into a revenge brainstorm. Carson smothered his chuckle this time, which Rodney thought was half-way decent of him.
Elizabeth dropped the PDA into her lap and shook her head. "Boys."
Seemingly deaf to this statement, Aiden squatted beside her and held out Meredith until Elizabeth set the child on her lap, upright. Young Beckett rocked, using her momentum to carry her forward onto her stomach. All watched – all waited – and Meredith stayed right where she was. No attempts to crawl or run away. Carson groaned and leapt out of the tree.
"Remind me why we're doubling as The Babysitters Club?" demanded Rodney from inside his tent, shuffling around and, by the sounds of it, building a pyramid of power bars.
Meredith gazed in his direction, a confused dart to her eyes. Elizabeth looked at her father questioningly and Carson explained, "Without the audio recordings on Atlantis, my lass doesnae understand as much of what we're saying here."
"So get a Babel fish," Ford suggested, winking his normal eye.
Carson cleared his throat. "And do ye know who came up with the Babel fish to begin with?"
"Bill Gates?" Ford said with a diagonal grin.
Something akin to horror spread across the CMO's face. Things might have turned nasty – or into a British pop culture lesson – had Aiden not quickly added, "Relax. I know. Douglas Noel Adams."
Carson looked suitably impressed. Choosing the right moment to appear, Ronon stomped back from the lake, his knotted net filled with fish the size of a small child. The catch made a wet thwacking sound as he dumped it before them.
"What's this now?" Beckett demanded. "Did ye get the jump on us, then?"
"Wasn't me," Ronon informed them, keeping a lingering look on Ford. "I found them dead like this and I figured McKay would know what's wrong with them."
Aiden chortled. "Right, I knew you couldn't get that many fish so quick without a little help."
"You didn't think to bring them back for dinner?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes.
"If you eat them, I'm not holding your head up while you spew it back out," Ronon said.
Elizabeth stood up, returning Meredith to her father. Both Becketts turned their blue eyes around the clearing, before settling back on the fish. Elizabeth gestured towards the Satedan. "Ronon's right. We don't know what killed them, or the risk we could be taking by eating them."
"Oh, right so we're going to take a magnifying glass over to the lake are we, lads?" Carson said, disgruntled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1400
Doctor Elizabeth Weir's office
A rather handy vantage point
John Sheppard, highest ranking military officer currently stationed in Atlantis and temporary guardian of the city, sat in Elizabeth's office and tried to look professional. For most of that time spent busying himself with nothing, he had been watched attentively by Teyla. Her refusal to leave the city with the others had something to do with teaching a self defence class, apparently, but John had not missed the relieved look that Elizabeth had turned over her shoulder at the Athosian before being eclipsed by the pool of blue light.
"Alright, I admit I have no idea what Elizabeth does all day," John said.
Teyla lifted her head from the back of her chair, blinking at him slowly. "You have never thought about it?"
"What – of course I have!" John hurriedly defended himself. "I just happen to be too busy whenever a crisis hits Atlantis so I can't exactly sit down and watch."
"Perhaps you should use the time to update your reports?" Teyla suggested. "I believe the last report you filed began its journey tacked to your door where you were throwing darts at it."
"I reprinted that!" John exclaimed.
"Did you ever wonder what happened to the copy you threw holes into?"
John stared at her suspiciously. Teyla merely smiled. Before he could jump up and order her to explain just what that was about, bits and pieces of light sparkled through the air before coalescing into the shape of Nena, cross-legged on the floor. She beamed up at both of them, waved and suddenly whooshed into existence on the desk.
Nena nodded at Teyla, then clapped her hands in front of John's face. "They have been gone for three hours. We must move quickly before – before," she finished vaguely.
"Do you really think sending off your daughter was a good idea?" John asked Nena, frowning slightly.
Her expression become guarded. "No, not really. But if you had an idea what she's been getting up to, you wouldn't sleep at night! No, a trip off-world is the right thing for Meredith now. I only hope I have stopped her in time."
"In time?" Teyla asked.
Three figures clothed in black went sliding past in the control room on their socks. John counted two military, one civilian and a brilliant new headache.
"Where's Cadman?" he barked at Nena, then regretted his rough tone. He scaled it back. "Okay, forget that. What's going on?"
"Meredith thought she was helping."
"Meredith does a lot of that," John grated.
"Perhaps we should be the ones helping you," Teyla offered.
Holding up his hands, John waved the already retreating women back to him. "Uh, wait just a second! I'm not going to run half-cocked after some of my best officers."
Teyla paused long enough to counter, "Then perhaps you should come fully-cocked?"
Acting-leader of the expedition, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, decided to follow the counsel of his advisers. He jogged after them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1415
M4B-1313
Still somewhere in the Pegasus Galaxy
Four adults and one baby stared out at the lake. The surface shone so much it resembled a salt pan, and ripples didn't even dare to make an appearance. Nothing stirred. Okay, nothing except Rodney who swatted his shoulders and elbows every few seconds to scare off the flying gnats of the planet which seemed to find his skin succulent and tasty.
"Ye caught them all," Carson accused Ronon loudly.
This would have been ignored by the Satedan, but Meredith lifted her head from her father's shoulder and glared in a way that would have looked even more terrifying on Nena. Ronon blinked and did not catch her eye again.
Ford chortled. "Hey doc, I'm sure there's plenty of fish left for you to catch and release."
"I believe you missed the part about kissing the fish," Elizabeth said with a smile.
"I'm not kissing anything from that lake," Ronon growled, apparently recomposed though he moved to stand between Elizabeth and Ford instead.
Rodney flapped his arms as he spun in a circle, cursing. "Oh great, so no one things to bring along the Raid or those mosquito coil things, which don't really work but it's kind of like a placebo if you think about it..."
Ford winked aside to his companions and hurtled forward, slamming Rodney face and stomach first into the water.
"You're safe now, McKay!" taunted Aiden.
Meredith giggled. Slipping her hand over her lips, Elizabeth turned her eyebrows downward, forcing the laugh back behind her nose. She didn't miss the quick tip of Ronon's head towards Ford, nor the exchanged smirks. Male bonding over fish and humiliation – nothing new, Elizabeth supposed.
"Alrigh', now ye can take a water sample," Carson called down to his friend.
"With what?"
"I'm sure ye can think of something."
Rodney, waist-deep and glaring behind dribbles of water, appeared to glow – either because of the water's reflection or due to him about to go nuclear. He sloshed a few steps further into the water to sulk, but fell forward abruptly, slapping the water with his face. When he surfaced again, he held up one finger which forestalled comment. Ronon, Ford, Carson and Elizabeth all chose to keep quiet, knowing that any wrong word would set their friend off on another rant. Meredith pointed at Rodney, her fingers opening into a wave. The scientist's expression faded from building rage to a vague smile.
"I don' believe it," Carson murmured.
"Yeah, McKay's turning into a sap," Ford said.
"Oh like yer not?"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes over the horizon to Ronon beside her, who shrugged with a grin. While Rodney clambered over the reeds that swathed the edge of the lake, and mostly failing to keep from falling back down again, Carson shifted his daughter to his right and smiled down at her. Meredith didn't look any trouble with her half-closed eyes and her cherubic smile.
For the briefest moment, a proud father forgot that little failure-to-crawl business and just wondered that he could be blessed with such a sweet wee lass – and her various honorary aunts and uncles who were more family than friends.
In no time at all, she'd be a teenager and fending off the lads (Carson imagined that Ronon would probably deal with that situation better than he could) and then she'd be a woman trying to tell her father to stop working so late and...
Carson gasped, kneeling onto the ground. The nausea had advanced so slowly, closing in just like an old friend he'd conveniently forgotten, that he'd not noticed it until it swarmed down his throat. He choked momentarily – then he heard the cries of his daughter. Stroking her back with one hand, he splayed the fingers of his other hand out to the sky and clenched them back together to centre himself. The ground stopped swaying under his knees, allowing him to lurch to his feet.
"Carson, are you both alright?" Elizabeth asked sharply.
"Wraith!" he groaned.
"Oh hell no!" Ford said to this.
"When you have all run out of relevant points to add to this discussion," snapped Rodney, "I'd suggest getting out of here!"
All eyes flicked to Elizabeth. Suddenly, she very much wanted to be seated behind her desk, attempting to hide a game of computer solitaire while comfortably coming up with some sort of solution. Instead of the PDA she'd brought, she also very much wanted it to be a Beretta, at the very least.
"I suppose..." Her eyes snapped from side to side, before landing on a target. "Head for the tree line?"
Ford and Carson bolted, Meredith held tight to the chest of the latter. Leaping over to the lake, Ronon hooked a hand through the back of Rodney's BDUs and pulled the scientist up onto the bank. Wasting no time with being gentle, the Satedan pushed his team mate ahead, giving him a good natured slap on the lower back. Rodney squeaked indignantly before streaking after the others.
Ronon grabbed Elizabeth's elbow and hauled her along with him as he passed. He had the grace not to say something to confirm her own disappointment in herself, but she wished he had as her feet found stones to stumble over while his steady pace kept her tailing behind.
A distant whine turned into a scream as the darts came at them.
Elizabeth Weir suddenly found that she could, in fact, keep up with Ronon Dex.
January 2005
Atlantis
Carson Beckett stood behind eleven scientists, who were all clutching metal mugs and weaving on their feet. Today's menu consisted of some pulpy Athosian vegetable and the very last watery dregs of coffee officially available. The grains may have been sloshed through multiple times, but the very thought of even an insy bit of caffeine lured in all manner of stressed personnel into the mess.
"Hey, doc," greeted Aiden from behind him.
After turning to face his companion, Carson then chortled and waved a hand to indicate the people ahead of them. "Come to witness the mad dash have ye, son?"
Lt. Ford leaned to one side to get a better look at the buffet table. His nose crumpled up into his face. "Okay, we really have to talk to McKay about eating all the good stuff. Where'd they get that from?"
"Teyla suggested it," Carson replied, an eyebrow raised. "She seemed ta think it was a good source of protein, which I'm sure we all need in the next week or so."
A pause. Then the younger man forced a grin and licked his lips. Chortling, the CMO steered him away from the queue of irritable coffee-aholics and into a sunny corner of the mess hall. Once they were seated, Caron held out his arm palm down and shook the limb. A chocolate bar snaked out from the sleeve of his labcoat, skidding across to land in front of Ford.
Aiden inhaled it in two breaths, then remembered his manners. Sheepishly, he passed back the wrapper. "Thanks. I don't suppose you have any more of that hidden around someplace."
"No, actually that was my last," Carson admitted. "But I hear Zelenka has a stash ye might consider bribing him to part with."
"Nah, he probably needs it more. Speaking of, uh, protein, is there anything Nena needs?"
Dr Beckett warily regarded his companion and saw only frank curiosity in Ford's eyes. Relaxing back into this chair, Carson said cheerfully, "Now I realise this might be strange to ye still, but Nena isn't like us. I suppose she could have a wee bite, as she has managed some corporeality, though it wouldnae do anything for her. I donae know myself what the lass needs."
"My grandparents kinda raised me so I don't know how the whole parenting thing goes."
"Yer grandparents?" Carson repeated in surprise.
"Yeah. I may not know about this stuff, but I reckon you'd make a good father. Just let your daughter have some fun once in a while."
"And leave her to yer influence no doubt."
The Lieutenant grinned. "Hey, someone's gotta pass on the position of pissing off McKay."
"I'll keep that in mind," Carson said dryly. "And – thankye, Aiden."
"Uh, what for?"
"I'm sure ye'll figure tha' out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too bloody early
September 2005
Atlantis
Sleep didn't exactly rank high on John Sheppard's priority list right about now, but it was the only thing he could so while sitting beside a bed in the infirmary. He last checked his watch a while ago, and it may have said midnight then. Possibly hours later, though still floating in the darkness of the room, John waited. He might have even sent a small prayer off into the ether, though he wasn't sure who was supposed to answer. God or the Ancients, or someone else maybe.
"John, ye should be in bed," Carson reproached, leaving his office to stand beside him. "I promise to let ye know the moment he regains consciousness."
"I need to be here when he wakes up," John said bluntly.
For a few moments, both men watched the reluctant rise and fall of the patient's chest, and listened carefully for any sharp intake of breath that would signal a change. The days since they'd brought a limping and wild-eyed Lt. Aiden Ford back to Atlantis had been frustrating for John. While his team mate had been spirited away, he'd been forced to sit down and spit out sentence after sentence about what happened – in earshot of Caldwell, no less.
John thought it didn't matter how they got Ford back, just that he was here. And he was finally off his kick. Except now there was that other problem. That problem was the slight detail of a replaced team member.
"I keep thinking if I'd spent more time talking to him than throwing orders at him..." Sheppard hesitated. "I keep thinking...this is kind of my fault."
"Oh aye, it's yer fault the Wraith beamed into the city, left a mess and put Aiden in a position to get all that enzyme. Diabolical, that plan."
A muscle beneath John's eye twitched. "Carson, you know I appreciate your friendship, but I'm thinking it's probably a good idea I didn't bring my gun in here."
"I see," the CMO said gruffly. "And I suppose I don't feel any worse, given that this crusade of his had something to do with Meredith and myself."
"How do you figure that?"
"I don't know, John. Jus' somethin' the lad said to me once, about not having his parents. I suppose he thought he was protecting Meredith from that fate."
"He had a warped way of doing that."
"And do ye think ye'd have done it differently?"
"Even on enzyme, I wouldn't have run off half-cocked into the galaxy with some crazy scheme in mind! I don't buy it from you, Carson. What I did...was...I didn't give the kid enough guidance and I was his CO – it's my job."
"Not meaning to point fingers here, but it's kind of my fault too," Aiden piped up from the bed.
Carson and John both stared at him.
Ford sighed. "Guys, I'm fine. I mean, I don't just feel fine, I am."
"Aye, we've heard that before," Carson said under his breath.
"No, listen. Doc, Colonel – I'm not about to hijack any Hive Ships, if that helps. I feel...awake. More lucid than I've been in months. But...can you tell me one thing? What's my eye look like?"
John winced. "Are you sure you want an answer to that?"
"That good, huh?"
"I donae know, Aiden...it makes ye look, oh, slightly rakish," Carson supplied with a small smile. "The ladies will like it, I'm sure."
Ford's lips twisted. "Good, wouldn't want to ruin my image. Beckett, you don't happen to have any chocolate bars up your sleeve do you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0700
A storage closet
Somewhere near the South Pier
The panel that sealed the storage closet from the outside corridor whooshed back in a neat and streamlined fashion, admitting the fiend responsible for such responsive controls. It had taken many hours during the time that Rodney had been detained aboard the Deadalus on the way back to Atlantis, but Radek Zelenka had finally found and dusted off his little piece of heaven.
Today it doubled as a cramped war room. Of course, it wouldn't be so squishy if Bates hadn't insisted on donning his BDU, as he usually did of late. Rumours naturally abounded that he was compensating for something, possibly the entire lack of any such protection on his 2IC Evan Lorne. The latter wore a shirt and pants, and nothing else. What "nothing else" entails was up to anyone's imagination.
The last member of the meeting took up even more space than the padded Donald Bates. Arms bulging as they crossed in front of his chest, the city's resident Satedan made no move to shift aside for Radek.
"Ah, what is he doing here?" Zelenka demanded, eyeing Ronon with the age-old trepidation wired into the DNA of academics living in the shadows of very tall, very athletic and very dread-locked men.
"Don't worry about it," Lorne assured him.
A odd curdling mixed with a low baritone note clawed its way out of Sergeant Bates' throat.
"Sorry, did you say something?" Lorne flung at him.
"Okay, you're the 2IC and I call the shots," Bates reminded his comrade.
Zelenka tipped his head back to place Ronon squarely in the magnification of his lenses. The Satedan nibbled idly on a thumb nail, before shrugging towards Radek who was taken aback by the companionable gesture.
"You don't know why he is here," Zelenka deduced finally, then raised his voice, "Meredith!"
Silence.
Ronon's teeth found the chipped nail of his index finger.
"I swear I saw her fifteen minutes ago in the transporter," Lorne supplied. "But I don't know, she's a fast kid. She could be anywhere."
Just typical, thought Radek. For the past fortnight, it had been deemed an unusual day if the youngest member of the Atlantis expedition didn't suddenly wheel past in mid-air before vanishing into a wall – at least three times in fewer minutes. And now, just when the crucial link in the War on Affordable Contraband was needed, she was nowhere to be found.
Already, the legend of Meredith Beckett's refusal to learn to crawl in her physical form had been spun through all the departments – enough that when a small figure bounced through the corridors giggling, they offered a mug of coffee to thin air for the poor father. Carson sometimes took those offers seriously.
"Maybe Beckett tried to get her crawling again," Ronon said.
"Doubtful," Bates said to this. "Dr Beckett's been in the infirmary all night with Lieutenant Ford. Probably making sure he doesn't start shooting up the place again – I told Colonel Sheppard we need to post more than one guard on the door..."
A tinny sneeze drew their attention to the middle of the closet. Meredith sat, rocking from her ankles to her backside and back again. Someone – probably her despairing father – had adorned her in a frilly white dress and a pair of pink booties no one had as yet owned up to making. There were 10-1 odds of it being John Sheppard's handiwork, and a bizarrely favourable 2-1 on Ronon.
"Right, now that we're all here," Bates said briskly.
"And we don't want to know why Ronon is here," Lorne added, casting a bemused smile down at Meredith. "But it'd sure help if we knew what was going on in that head of yours."
Bates glowered.
Evan rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, you get to be chairman, boss."
"I get it now," Ronon mused.
Zelenka blinked at him. "Get what?"
"Why you haven't nailed Lt. Cadman yet. You talk too much."
"Uh, does he know both the meanings of 'nailed'?" ventured Lorne cautiously.
Bates grinned evilly. "I don't see how that's relevant, but you probably do talk too much that way too."
"Hey, Cadman and I never really talk much. She hands my ass to me before I can get a word in."
The walls of the storage closet dissolved into white noise, accompanied by loud angry buzzing. Radek clapped his hands over his ears and shut one eye, squinting out the other. Meredith mumbled to herself and clapped her hands. One moment she was sitting there, next she was an image on the wall.
Beside her form, a screen snapped up. It showed a seemingly inconsequential door on yet another bland beige-coloured wall. A bright red X dashed across the door.
"Well we knew that already," Bates said. "X marks the spot."
The image dissolved into red Ancient text that crawled slowly into English, which then spread out to fill around a blue-print (or rather, green-print, as was Meredith's preference) of the city. Zelenka had suggested a timeline of each implementation of the plan, something which had caused a bit of a tiff with Meredith who had locked him in his shower for a few hours. Explaining that away had been difficult, especially as the struggling kingpin of chocolate and coffee had no wish for anyone (read: Rodney McKay) to find out that he needed a child to help him.
"Does no one think it odd we are taking information from a baby?" Zelenka asked, belatedly he knew.
"She knows everything in the city," Lorne pointed out.
Ronon smirked. "You should be more worried about why she's telling you this stuff."
A shiver zig-zagged between Radek's shoulder blades. He cleared his throat and bounded for the door, preferring not to dwell on that too closely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0800
Rodney's Lair
A desirable zip code of Atlantis
Teyla looked at the shoes, set parallel to each other on the lab bench, before she finally shook her head and turned to leave the lab. She had made it one step from the corridor before Rodney McKay hurtled in and clipped her shoulder as he slapped his bare feet over the floor. His toe hit the corner of the bench and he swore grumpily, hopping around the table to flick open his lapop. He looked up and saw his visitor.
"Okay, the silence is a good start," Rodney acknowledged. "But any brilliant mind can't work if there's someone looking over his shoulder or...not over the shoulder because you're in front of me. Did you want something, apart from the staring thing?"
"You seem busy," Teyla observed. "It can wait."
Rodney's eyes went wide. "Nonono, you're pulling the face."
"The...face?" Teyla repeated.
"Yeah, you get this really closed off look on your face when you're not impressed with someone and usually I wouldn't mind seeing that, because it's aimed at Wraith or any other bad guys who happen to inhabit this galaxy – but look, not at me! Whatever it is – I'll do it, just don't pull the face."
"Very well," Teyla said, bringing her inward smile to bear. "I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast."
"What, with you?"
"Or you could sit at a separate table to make it seem like I am not there," Teyla suggested.
"Hmm. Did John put you up to this? This is totally him. Put the hot girl in front of the geek guy and – "
"Rodney!" Teyla interrupted. "This is a request made from friendship. I consider you a friend."
Rodney's face dipped behind the laptop as he slouched. "Huh. You don't – not even a little? It's the hair, isn't it."
"No, Rodney, I think your hair is fine. What you lack in manners, you have in the goodness of your heart. I don't see you anyway except for the gifted and – likeable friend that you are. I am sure that one day there will be someone who sees you as something more."
Rodney was silent for a good twenty seconds before he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Right. Yes. Breakfast. We should, uh go."
Teyla shook her head at his retreating back. She waited.
Rodney walked briskly back in and swiped his shoes onto the floor with one arm, stuffing his feet into them. He pointed towards the door and headed out once more. This time Teyla followed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0815
Atlantis control room
In eyeshot of some great views
Standing in the dead centre of the control room, hands linked behind her back, Elizabeth Weir did her best impression of an immovable mountain. Flatly, almost to the point of seeming disinterested, she addressed the view screen in front of her. "General Landry, I understand the need to return Lt. Ford to Earth, but we – I believe his rehabilitation should begin here, among those who can sympathise."
"Dr Weir, do you think I spend my time giving orders in the hope that someone takes it as a fun suggestion?"
Elizabeth fought hard to keep her tone even. "I take this very seriously, as it concerns a member of my expedition – "
"May I remind you, this member of your expedition endangered the security of Atlantis and of Earth by extension. Hardly the actions that warrant sympathy."
The 'gate died abruptly. Elizabeth started, and was not surprised a moment later when Nena flashed beside her. She was bemused, however, to see that the city's sentience seemed to vibrate with agitation and her usually tidy auburn hair had turned into a wiry helmet hanging around her head.
"Do I even want to ask?" Weir wondered.
Nena slid her hands over her hair, flattening the mess in a heartbeat. "I am sorry, Elizabeth, but Meredith is getting into the systems. This is like a big toy for her."
"And I suppose she thought she was helping me."
"Yes," Nena said, blinking.
"Nena, much as I would like never to speak with General Landry again..." Elizabeth stopped and curved her hand over the side of her face, one finger massaging her temple. "...this is important. In two days, the SGC expects Lt. Ford to walk through the event horizon and leave here forever."
"He could disappear?" Nena said brightly. "You Earthlings have barely scouted out half of the city and there are many places I could hide Aiden, if you like."
Elizabeth's lips softened at the suggestion, but she didn't make it into a smile. "I admit I'm surprised. I thought...you wouldn't take too kindly to Ford after what he did when the Wraith were attacking."
"Perhaps I am getting a bit lazy in my old age."
"You don't look any more than thirty," Elizabeth told her.
"That's sweet of you to say, but I do have a lot of corrosion that wasn't helped any by the storm last year..."
Laughter filled the control room and it took several moments for Dr Weir to realise that it was her own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0900
Briefing room
Somewhere with no windows whatsoever
Only when a technician informed her that she was late did Elizabeth Weir slowly approach the briefing room. Sliding through one of the door panels and then waiting for it to seal into a wall behind her, she nodded to each of those in attendance. Colonel Caldwell had taken a seat slightly off-centre, sandwiching Aiden Ford between himself and John on the other side. Carson looked comfortable by comparison, though he was wedged onto one corner of the oddly shaped table.
Elizabeth stood before them, looking down to where they were seated. She drew a long breath, and held it.
"This is a waste of time," Caldwell announced.
She let out a stale gasp of air. "Is it? We are talking about the future of one of our own."
"You have your orders, I have mine," the Daedalus commander said with a hint of a smile. "Should there be any reason you're unable to do so, I'm sure I can fill in."
John opened his mouth, but Carson beat him to it. "Aye, but ye can wait two days. Failing tha', you might find yeself unable to rectify that situation if ye were...locked in a storage closet."
Caldwell eyed him. "Are you threatening me, doctor?"
"No one's threatening anyone," John placated, but with a grin. "I'd hear Dr Weir out before you start jumping the gun on us."
"Excuse me, can I speak for myself?" Ford asked, lifting his eyes from the table.
"Please do," invited Elizabeth, still standing.
Caldwell crossed his arms on the table. "This'll be good."
"I did something stupid," Aiden began, the lid over his black eye bulging as he tried to close his eyes briefly. "I'm not saying I didn't. But you don't know how the enzyme feels. It makes you feel like Superman or something. Except there's no Kryptonite. The more you get, the more you need until you'll do just about anything to get a taste. I'm not proud of it. But it's not...it's not all my fault!"
The frustration that burst from him at the end made him shrink into the chair like a chastised child. Elizabeth bit her tongue to remind herself not to appear moved. She prompted, "What about now? Do you want it?"
"Yeah," Ford admitted. "But it's not...it's not like that anymore. I think."
"Do you want to stay on Atlantis?" asked Caldwell so quietly that Elizabeth took a step forward to hear him.
"A week'd be nice. Two days isn't enough. But I really just want to go home."
"You'll get your wish," Col. Caldwell said simply and left the room.
"Well now what was tha' about?" Carson asked, bewildered.
John tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Caldwell isn't the bad guy. He gets it. And besides, Nena knows where he hides his motorcycle doesn't she?"
"Motorcycle!" Elizabeth repeated, eyebrows lifting. "Carson, I asked you and Nena to not keep secrets from me."
The aforementioned sentience swung her legs as she sat on the edge of the table next to her husband. John flicked a couple of fingers toward Nena in greeting. Ford stared at her mutely.
"You seem rather quiet all of a sudden, Aiden," Nena noted. "I'm sure if I had normal ears, I still would have heard you all the way over on the South pier. I would have been here earlier, but Meredith was doing something over there..."
The lights flickered.
Elizabeth glanced down at her hands and linked them together, straightening them to form a bridge of her knuckles. She pressed them to her lips and thought very briefly.
"Lieutenant Ford," she said, smiling either side of her hands. "You have a week to settle your affairs. Might I suggest not commiserating around here?"
Nena beamed. "A good idea! I know just the place – there's this address in the database. It's uninhabited but very nice. There are pictures of a lake so you can go fishing, Carsie-buns."
Someone snickered. No one wanted to own up to it.
Carson sighed. "Aye, love. Fishing."
"And you should go, Elizabeth," Nena finished.
Dr Weir dropped her hands. "Excuse me?"
"It's not like the place is going to fall apart with Nena looking after it," John reminded her.
"You seem to be forgetting that in all matters of defence the IOA only accepts the judgement of a human – no offence, Nena, I know you would not endanger us."
"I'll stay."
Everyone looked at John.
"You're staying, sir?" Ford clarified.
Colonel Sheppard leaned to the side to get a good look at his subordinate. Sure, the black eye was creepier than even his fourth grade teacher's glass one, but he had to remember the kid that had leapt backwards through a Stargate with galactic glee. Running wild out in the galaxy might have slapped some sense into Aiden Ford, but the full agonising regret hadn't yet blasted into his brain.
John knew all about that kind of regret. He'd been lucky the only retribution had been the indignity of being busted down to Major a couple of years ago. Ford had a freaking black eye. He was an enzyme-aholic and...still hero-worshipped the asshole who'd dragged him into a Dart hanger and zapped him away. A hell of an intervention.
"When you get back," John said with a nod, "we'll talk. You kids go have fun. I'll call if anything happens."
Of course, at that moment, what John Sheppard meant by "anything" was "impending doom courtesy of the friendly neighbourhood Wraith". What fate had in store for him was more along the lines of "a clash of black market kingpins, and a party to which any authority figures were not invited".
That kind of sucked actually, because two years ago a dishonoured Major would have been in on the party from the start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1330
M4B-1313
Somewhere in the Pegasus Galaxy
No matter how Rodney stressed that a Puddlejumper was required for what essentially was a vacation, Elizabeth had flat out refused. Not only was the perennial boy scout tasked with carrying a camo-tent through the gate, he had to set it up. For the first two hours of their trip, Rodney paced between two trees, trying to find soil that wasn't too hard for his back or too soft for the tent pegs to hold.
Watching with amusement were Aiden Ford and his charge – Meredith, who seemed to have no problem being awkwardly held while the Lieutenant looked around hopefully for anyone to save him from his predicament. He had no problem with kids – there were always enough of those around his grandparents' house. But this was Beckett's daughter and Ford knew he'd only just jumped back on the wagon. He settled for laughing nervously at Rodney. Meredith blew bubbles.
"I don't think it's any harder than rocket science, Rodney," Elizabeth pointed out, lying back against one of the trees and trying to shift with the changing shade to keep the sun off her PDA screen.
Carson chuckled quietly from his perch in a tree. No one was entirely sure how he'd got up there, or indeed so quickly, though Rodney suspected that Lantean technology was somehow enabling the CMO to teleport. No such thing existed on M4B-1313, or so Nena reckoned.
Ford stepped forward, slipping Meredith around to his left side. "I'll help you, McKay."
"No. I know where this is going and no."
A pause, then – "So where is this going?"
"You'll make one or two little jokes, the audience will laugh and applaud and it will leave me at a disadvantage come dinner time."
Ford paused and counted to ten. To his credit, it wasn't enzyme he wanted right that second – but to deliver a good smack to a certain physicist. Oh, hell with it. He marched over, Meredith in one arm and scooped up a tent peg in the other. He hurled the peg down through the hook at one corner of the tent and it stuck fast.
Rodney stared at the hand Ford held out to him. The scientist's expression hovered between an indignant storm cloud and a worried uncle. Sensing more than one pair of eyes squinting at him suspiciously, Ford half-growled, "Look, I'm not hopped up anymore. I've been camping and I have pretty good aim sometimes."
Rodney opened his mouth to deliver his best urinal joke.
"Don't even think about it, Rodney," Elizabeth warned, eyes now fixed back onto her PDA.
The moment passed a little awkwardly before Aiden handed over Meredith to her godfather. Barely a minute later, Ford stepped back from the staked tent and gestured elegantly at it. He tossed a challenging grin at McKay, which was caught, regarded, and then turned into a revenge brainstorm. Carson smothered his chuckle this time, which Rodney thought was half-way decent of him.
Elizabeth dropped the PDA into her lap and shook her head. "Boys."
Seemingly deaf to this statement, Aiden squatted beside her and held out Meredith until Elizabeth set the child on her lap, upright. Young Beckett rocked, using her momentum to carry her forward onto her stomach. All watched – all waited – and Meredith stayed right where she was. No attempts to crawl or run away. Carson groaned and leapt out of the tree.
"Remind me why we're doubling as The Babysitters Club?" demanded Rodney from inside his tent, shuffling around and, by the sounds of it, building a pyramid of power bars.
Meredith gazed in his direction, a confused dart to her eyes. Elizabeth looked at her father questioningly and Carson explained, "Without the audio recordings on Atlantis, my lass doesnae understand as much of what we're saying here."
"So get a Babel fish," Ford suggested, winking his normal eye.
Carson cleared his throat. "And do ye know who came up with the Babel fish to begin with?"
"Bill Gates?" Ford said with a diagonal grin.
Something akin to horror spread across the CMO's face. Things might have turned nasty – or into a British pop culture lesson – had Aiden not quickly added, "Relax. I know. Douglas Noel Adams."
Carson looked suitably impressed. Choosing the right moment to appear, Ronon stomped back from the lake, his knotted net filled with fish the size of a small child. The catch made a wet thwacking sound as he dumped it before them.
"What's this now?" Beckett demanded. "Did ye get the jump on us, then?"
"Wasn't me," Ronon informed them, keeping a lingering look on Ford. "I found them dead like this and I figured McKay would know what's wrong with them."
Aiden chortled. "Right, I knew you couldn't get that many fish so quick without a little help."
"You didn't think to bring them back for dinner?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes.
"If you eat them, I'm not holding your head up while you spew it back out," Ronon said.
Elizabeth stood up, returning Meredith to her father. Both Becketts turned their blue eyes around the clearing, before settling back on the fish. Elizabeth gestured towards the Satedan. "Ronon's right. We don't know what killed them, or the risk we could be taking by eating them."
"Oh, right so we're going to take a magnifying glass over to the lake are we, lads?" Carson said, disgruntled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1400
Doctor Elizabeth Weir's office
A rather handy vantage point
John Sheppard, highest ranking military officer currently stationed in Atlantis and temporary guardian of the city, sat in Elizabeth's office and tried to look professional. For most of that time spent busying himself with nothing, he had been watched attentively by Teyla. Her refusal to leave the city with the others had something to do with teaching a self defence class, apparently, but John had not missed the relieved look that Elizabeth had turned over her shoulder at the Athosian before being eclipsed by the pool of blue light.
"Alright, I admit I have no idea what Elizabeth does all day," John said.
Teyla lifted her head from the back of her chair, blinking at him slowly. "You have never thought about it?"
"What – of course I have!" John hurriedly defended himself. "I just happen to be too busy whenever a crisis hits Atlantis so I can't exactly sit down and watch."
"Perhaps you should use the time to update your reports?" Teyla suggested. "I believe the last report you filed began its journey tacked to your door where you were throwing darts at it."
"I reprinted that!" John exclaimed.
"Did you ever wonder what happened to the copy you threw holes into?"
John stared at her suspiciously. Teyla merely smiled. Before he could jump up and order her to explain just what that was about, bits and pieces of light sparkled through the air before coalescing into the shape of Nena, cross-legged on the floor. She beamed up at both of them, waved and suddenly whooshed into existence on the desk.
Nena nodded at Teyla, then clapped her hands in front of John's face. "They have been gone for three hours. We must move quickly before – before," she finished vaguely.
"Do you really think sending off your daughter was a good idea?" John asked Nena, frowning slightly.
Her expression become guarded. "No, not really. But if you had an idea what she's been getting up to, you wouldn't sleep at night! No, a trip off-world is the right thing for Meredith now. I only hope I have stopped her in time."
"In time?" Teyla asked.
Three figures clothed in black went sliding past in the control room on their socks. John counted two military, one civilian and a brilliant new headache.
"Where's Cadman?" he barked at Nena, then regretted his rough tone. He scaled it back. "Okay, forget that. What's going on?"
"Meredith thought she was helping."
"Meredith does a lot of that," John grated.
"Perhaps we should be the ones helping you," Teyla offered.
Holding up his hands, John waved the already retreating women back to him. "Uh, wait just a second! I'm not going to run half-cocked after some of my best officers."
Teyla paused long enough to counter, "Then perhaps you should come fully-cocked?"
Acting-leader of the expedition, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, decided to follow the counsel of his advisers. He jogged after them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1415
M4B-1313
Still somewhere in the Pegasus Galaxy
Four adults and one baby stared out at the lake. The surface shone so much it resembled a salt pan, and ripples didn't even dare to make an appearance. Nothing stirred. Okay, nothing except Rodney who swatted his shoulders and elbows every few seconds to scare off the flying gnats of the planet which seemed to find his skin succulent and tasty.
"Ye caught them all," Carson accused Ronon loudly.
This would have been ignored by the Satedan, but Meredith lifted her head from her father's shoulder and glared in a way that would have looked even more terrifying on Nena. Ronon blinked and did not catch her eye again.
Ford chortled. "Hey doc, I'm sure there's plenty of fish left for you to catch and release."
"I believe you missed the part about kissing the fish," Elizabeth said with a smile.
"I'm not kissing anything from that lake," Ronon growled, apparently recomposed though he moved to stand between Elizabeth and Ford instead.
Rodney flapped his arms as he spun in a circle, cursing. "Oh great, so no one things to bring along the Raid or those mosquito coil things, which don't really work but it's kind of like a placebo if you think about it..."
Ford winked aside to his companions and hurtled forward, slamming Rodney face and stomach first into the water.
"You're safe now, McKay!" taunted Aiden.
Meredith giggled. Slipping her hand over her lips, Elizabeth turned her eyebrows downward, forcing the laugh back behind her nose. She didn't miss the quick tip of Ronon's head towards Ford, nor the exchanged smirks. Male bonding over fish and humiliation – nothing new, Elizabeth supposed.
"Alrigh', now ye can take a water sample," Carson called down to his friend.
"With what?"
"I'm sure ye can think of something."
Rodney, waist-deep and glaring behind dribbles of water, appeared to glow – either because of the water's reflection or due to him about to go nuclear. He sloshed a few steps further into the water to sulk, but fell forward abruptly, slapping the water with his face. When he surfaced again, he held up one finger which forestalled comment. Ronon, Ford, Carson and Elizabeth all chose to keep quiet, knowing that any wrong word would set their friend off on another rant. Meredith pointed at Rodney, her fingers opening into a wave. The scientist's expression faded from building rage to a vague smile.
"I don' believe it," Carson murmured.
"Yeah, McKay's turning into a sap," Ford said.
"Oh like yer not?"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes over the horizon to Ronon beside her, who shrugged with a grin. While Rodney clambered over the reeds that swathed the edge of the lake, and mostly failing to keep from falling back down again, Carson shifted his daughter to his right and smiled down at her. Meredith didn't look any trouble with her half-closed eyes and her cherubic smile.
For the briefest moment, a proud father forgot that little failure-to-crawl business and just wondered that he could be blessed with such a sweet wee lass – and her various honorary aunts and uncles who were more family than friends.
In no time at all, she'd be a teenager and fending off the lads (Carson imagined that Ronon would probably deal with that situation better than he could) and then she'd be a woman trying to tell her father to stop working so late and...
Carson gasped, kneeling onto the ground. The nausea had advanced so slowly, closing in just like an old friend he'd conveniently forgotten, that he'd not noticed it until it swarmed down his throat. He choked momentarily – then he heard the cries of his daughter. Stroking her back with one hand, he splayed the fingers of his other hand out to the sky and clenched them back together to centre himself. The ground stopped swaying under his knees, allowing him to lurch to his feet.
"Carson, are you both alright?" Elizabeth asked sharply.
"Wraith!" he groaned.
"Oh hell no!" Ford said to this.
"When you have all run out of relevant points to add to this discussion," snapped Rodney, "I'd suggest getting out of here!"
All eyes flicked to Elizabeth. Suddenly, she very much wanted to be seated behind her desk, attempting to hide a game of computer solitaire while comfortably coming up with some sort of solution. Instead of the PDA she'd brought, she also very much wanted it to be a Beretta, at the very least.
"I suppose..." Her eyes snapped from side to side, before landing on a target. "Head for the tree line?"
Ford and Carson bolted, Meredith held tight to the chest of the latter. Leaping over to the lake, Ronon hooked a hand through the back of Rodney's BDUs and pulled the scientist up onto the bank. Wasting no time with being gentle, the Satedan pushed his team mate ahead, giving him a good natured slap on the lower back. Rodney squeaked indignantly before streaking after the others.
Ronon grabbed Elizabeth's elbow and hauled her along with him as he passed. He had the grace not to say something to confirm her own disappointment in herself, but she wished he had as her feet found stones to stumble over while his steady pace kept her tailing behind.
A distant whine turned into a scream as the darts came at them.
Elizabeth Weir suddenly found that she could, in fact, keep up with Ronon Dex.