John Sheppard woke as he was thrown hurtling through the air. He barely had a second to register the fact that he was airborne before he connected with the hard floor. Momentarily stunned, he lay limp on his back, arms flailing out from his sides. Seeing his naked limbs in front of him, he had the fleeting irrational thought that hoards of alien women had abducted him.
Not that it would be terribly upsetting.
“I am very sorry,” a female voice whispered.
John whimpered, seeing a dark shape poised on his – his bed? He was in his rooms, then. He wasn’t sure if he should be comforted by this or not. The shadow lowered an arm clutching a sharp object.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sure we can reach an agreement that doesn’t involve violence or sex.”
“I am sure we can, too.”
The light hummed on. Teyla Emmagan was sitting on his bed, tucking a dagger beneath the pillow and in a similar state of undress. She offered a small, sheepish smile. She admitted, “I am not accustomed to companionship in bed. I heard your night breathing and thought you were a threat.”
“Oh,” breathed John in relief.
He gingerly stood up, rubbing his back. Yep, that was going to bruise. He approached the bed, smiling reassuringly in return. He rested one knee on the mattress as he prepared to dive back under the covers. Teyla fixed him with a stern glare and rolled onto his side of the bed, halting his progress.
John opened his mouth, but caught her steely look and said nothing. However, he did make sure to move his lips into a pout. She informed him coolly, “Your night breathing is keeping me awake. Perhaps you should sleep in the bathroom tonight.”
“What!” John exclaimed. “Night breathing!”
Teyla demonstrated by snorting through her nostrils and heaving a loud sigh. She crossed her arms over her chest, resuming her unwavering stare. His eyes widened and he grinned apologetically. He protested, “Hey, I don’t snore every night. I promise.”
She merely closed her eyes and aimed a finger towards the bathroom. John, suitably reprimanded, grabbed his standard issue jacket and slunk off to the bathroom, muttering, “Can’t even sleep in my own bed. Women!"
“But, John,” she called from the bed, “I didn't hear you complaining when you enticed me here."
"Re-poll my opinion in the morning," John said darkly.
But of course, even when he woke up with a stiff neck from the bathtub, he'd be more than happy to give up his bed rest again and again.