My Angel Ellie
Written 2004, companion to While I Live - before we knew about Gavin's family
Proud. Determined. Eternal.
She is that and more. I model myself on her – Ellie the brave, Ellie the immortal.
When I first saw her, she was a demon. A wraith. She intruded on my land, my people. We were fine without her. But we were better with her. Slowly, I began to see her differently. Farm raised, farm confidence. An angel sent to give us humanity. I like the word humanity...it’s one of the nicest I know.
It rhymes with sanity. That’s what Ellie gave us as well.
I found a thesaurus and dictionary in her parent’s bedroom. She never goes in there anymore, not even to open the windows. She is torn by sadness, avoids it. I feel the sadness also. They were nice to me. Dad and Mum. Those two titles I would only call them.
There should be a listing for Ellie in those two heavy books.
In the thesaurus: Proud, determined, eternal, brave, immortal, angel...sister
I searched the dictionary for words that would talk about her best. I don’t remember ever having a sister, but Ellie must be one.
I hate to see Mr Sayle put her down. I don’t understand what I lip read sometimes. I can read money, though. That word taints my angel Ellie. I learnt something at school today, while ignoring the paper bouncing off the back of my head. My teacher wrote on the board “money is the root of all evil”. I guess a bad tree has bad roots.
Ellie is breaking apart. Falling from the clouds. Maybe if she let Lee touch her again things would be better. He doesn’t taint her. He isn’t an angel like her. But he could lift her again. He has to deal with more of kids like me. He would understand.
Ellie is still fearless, though her spirit is breaking. I must be fearless like her. Distant like her, too. Maybe that is why she has no fear. I must not whine about the kids at school. Ellie wouldn’t. She would fight. But I’ve lost the will to fight. Teachers punish me for each return blow.
Ellie wouldn’t care what teachers did to her. I don’t want to get into trouble, though. Ellie would be angry with me either way. Letting the kids win or being the winner.
But Mr Sayle upsets her. I can see that. I’m not stupid.
I want my angel to be lifted again. She shouldn’t be treated this way.
I’m Gavin, her little brother. She always watches over me and always will. Heaven sent, she gives me unheard of love.