Froth (G) [261 words]
Rodney drinks frothy coffee with an interesting result.
Rodney wanted to complain to someone about the froth in his coffee. However, those wise enough to avoid him had fled the mess - this included most of the populace. He sat down at a table by himself, glowering at everyone and everything. He took a tentative draw from his coffee and made a face for show. In truth, it didn't taste half bad. Rodney set it on the table, trying to look displeased.
He was planning a complaint when Elizabeth Weir sat across from him, drinking water instead. She looked at him and her eyes widened. A grin crept onto her lips.
"Hello, Rodney," she said, smiling wickedly.
Feeling like he was missing a joke, he grunted in reply. As he looked at her, he noticed something odd. Elizabeth was staring at him intently. She pointed to her lips. Perplexed, Rodney frowned. Expelling a small chuckle, she licked her lips. This startled him - but in a very good way, he decided. He watched her more avidly, wondering if she was teasing him and if he should respond.
Elizabeth sighed and licked her lips again.
Rodney couldn't help it. He pointed to himself and asked silently, "Me?"
"Rodney you're hopeless!" she exclaimed.
Elizabeth whipped up a napkin and leaned across the table, wiping his lips of the froth that had settled there. Rodney blushed furiously, unable to speak in his defence. Laughing at his discomfit, she stood and turned to leave.
But she did glance back and mouth, "Yes, you."
Papercut (G) [166 words]
Rodney gets a paper cut.
Rodney let out a yelp.
This wasn't the sort of thing he usually said in a briefing so naturally it caught some puzzled looks.
"Something wrong?" Elizabeth asked.
Rodney looked pitiful as he held out his hand and said sulkily, "I got a papercut. And it's bleeding."
"Papercuts don't bleed," John snorted.
"It's bleeding!" Rodney repeated firmly.
John rolled his eyes and said, "Are you a big boy or do you need to see Beckett?"
"John," Elizabeth warned.
She looked at Rodney's hand and thoughtfully left the table. She disappeared into her office and came out a few moments later with a bandaid. Elizabeth walked around to him and gently applied it to his sore finger. She asked with a small smile, "Do you need me to kiss it better?"
"That doesn't work," Rodney said stiffly.
Elizabeth, regardless, gave the bandaided finger a quick little peck.
She countered matter-of-factly, "But it does help the pain."
Click (G) [379 words]
Rodney and Elizabeth like clicky pens.
Rodney McKay was holding one of the annoying lime green clicking pens in his hand and was absently clicking away. Briefings had been bad enough, in Colonel Sheppard's opinion, before the Daedalus had brought new supplies on its latest run. Those new supplies happened to include the pens of doom.
Wincing with each click, John knew it was only a matter of time before he would explode. When Rodney clicked twice quickly in succession, that time had come. John jumped the briefing table and ran over to Rodney. He snatched the offending item, snapping it clean in half.
Rodney looked scandalised. His eyes narrowed and he announced crossly, "Sheppard broke my pen."
"Give him another," Elizabeth commanded immediately.
Sheppard scowled and stalked back to his seat to collect one of his. He passed it over reluctantly before sitting quietly. He only realised his mistake when he was across the room. He'd just given McKay a clicking pen.
Click. Click. Click-click.
Elizabeth smiled at Rodney and picked up her own clicking pen. They synchronised perfectly. John shivered. He bit his lip. Then he got a twitchy, wild look in his eyes.
"Do you mind?" he demanded.
Elizabeth and Rodney shook their heads, both adding a click to each shake. Sheppard glared and picked up another pen. He clicked it furiously in a last ditch attempt to get back on top of the situation.
"He's being annoying," Rodney whined.
Elizabeth held out her hand. "Give me the pen, John."
Sheppard howled like an animal struck with a spear, threw his pen agaisnt the wall and ran out pulling frantically on his hair. Teyla left her seat and retrieved his pen. She clicked it experimentally and smiled.
"I don't know why that sound doesn't bother me," Elizabeth mused.
Rodney threw his pen at her. She caught it deflty and tossed it back at him. It nicked his shirt. He jumped up indignantly and protested, "I just got this washed, Lizbeth."
Rodney also left the room. Elizabeth turned to Teyla and Ronan (the former was amused while the latter was politely puzzled) and commented airily, "Sometimes they're like children."
"Sometimes you play favourities," Teyla pointed out.
Sneezes (G) [331 words]
There are better ways to attract the opposite sex.
Rodney sneezed loudly as Elizabeth walked past. He gave her an apologetic and watery smile until she was out of sight. When she was safely gone, he dived into his pockets to retrieve a tissue. He demanded of his companion, "Why does she wear that perfume?"
Teyla gave him that knowing smile, which he knew well enough to feel somewhat apprehensive at its appearance. The Athosian explained patiently, "She wishes to gain your attention."
Rodney stared at her. He snorted. "And how would you know? You're not from Earth."
"And you're not a woman," Teyla countered.
In her office, Elizabeth Weir was fighting off a sneezing attack. Luckily, Colonel Sheppard was on hand to assist by offering a box of tissues he had swiped from the labs at some point. The expedition leader smothered her remaining sneezes into the tissues before demanding, "Why does Rodney wear that cologne?"
"He's out to impress," John replied, smirking.
"Out to impress who? I thought he and Katie didn't work out."
The Colonel stared at her like it was obvious. He allowed himself a chuckle at her expense. John lowered his voice, "He's trying to get your attention."
"Really? Well that's..."
"Surprising? Freaky?" John supplied helpfully.
Elizabeth shook her head, smiling to herself. She admitted quietly, "I was thinking cute."
At that moment, Rodney came to the door with Teyla poking him along. John and Teyla shared a look and quickly left the area.
"Er, hi," Rodney managed, then shot a nasal explosion in her direction.
Elizabeth also sneezed. She wiped her eyes and suggested in amusement, "Why don't we clean this stuff off and meet up in the mess in an hour?"
"On a date?" Rodney asked, disbelievingly.
She nodded. Rodney tore out of the room instantly, swatting at his face and neck with the very last tissues he possessed.
Debriefing (G) [94 words]
What do Rodney and Elizabeth get up to in a harrowing debriefing?
Maybe 2006, might be 2005.
A harrowing debriefing. Rodney yawned and rested his head on one hand. The monotone of Colonel Sheppard was putting him to sleep.
Rodney looked at Elizabeth. She looked at him. An exchange of smiles. He winked slowly at her. Elizabeth blinked, smile widening. Rodney impersonated the 'thinker' pose. Her eyes laughed. Struggling against a smile, she pursed her lips. He mimicked her. Elizabeth flicked her tongue out, then resumed her pursing. Rodney groaned, having enough of her teasing. He said loudly, "I think that's all."
After the debriefing, Elizabeth repeated herself - on him.
Angst Interrupted (G) [107 words]
A spoof of the chapter Poisoning the Well in my fic Moments.
Rodney: angst...angst...ANGST! ANGST!
Elizabeth: Hello Rodney.
Elizabeth: Stop angsting. What part did you have in this episode?
Rodney: ANGST!!!!!!!! ANGST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because it's fun to angst.
Elizabeth: Beckett's ANGSTING for real. Go see him.
Rodney: Um, why?
Elizabeth: Because you're his friend.
Rodney: BUT I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS! ANGST!
Elizabeth: I'm your friend!
Rodney: But one day you'll be my LOVAH! And then I'll have no friends again! ANGST!
Elizabeth: True dat. But Beckett is ya friend.
Rodney: Is he?
Elizabeth: Really. Now go and console him!
Elizabeth: Why not?
Rodney: Kiss first.
Elizabeth: But that's not for several chapters.