Harry Scarface Potter
Chapter 2 - Ebay and Wizard Buys
Written 2003

Harry Potter used every chance he got to fiddle around with the Internet, but as the Dursleys hadn't gone out at all, he was forced to use an Internet cafe and upload his stories from disk. Stories, you ask? This is no ordinary writer - his pen name is Harry Scarface Potter on, you know, one of those sites.

One day while he was wading through his many reviews in his inbox (at the dubious email address of ) when up came an advert with bright and flashing colours. Blinking, Harry leant closer to the screen and read out loud with wonder, "Hm, sounds interesting."

Click.

Up came a tempting question: What are you searching for?

Well, that's difficult, mused Harry.

So he typed in "car". He had, of course, discovered a world of possibilities. Unfortunately, he didn't have any money on him but a strong desire to buy anything and everything he could. Of course, being the devil he is, Harry tried to find sites to help him with money. It wasn't until he'd found some random person's site suggesting theft of a credit card did he find a solution.

Uncle Vernon had a rather nice gold one. Should do well on the Internet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry watched his unknowing uncle all through dinner (or whatever was on the diet), suddenly feeling just a little guilty. Well, the deed was done - no turning back now. Besides, the git was going to deserve whatever a Potter could do with the bank account. Harry's face cracked into a grin, not unlike that of the Weasley twins...he was already planning which car he could scam off...which bank he could thrust the PIN into with the card.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finding a little risky, Harry began shoping online for random things, things he couldn't possibly need. Although, the computer could come in handy, as well as the 56k modem (guaranteed to connect at 56 every time!) and webcam. Just in time too - he'd run out of Muggle money in coins to spend at the Internet cafe. The cupboard under the stairs was perfect for all this equipment.

And the Dursley's were a little baffled when Harry told them he'd spend a few hours in there each day.

He'd also discovered the wonderful world of MSN.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was five in the morning. Not a sound was heard, except the continual muffled tapping of a keyboard. Harry had just signed on, thus beginning his sixteen hour computer time. It was no big deal - it wasn't as if he was unable to access any educational pieces of information. Today he was hoping to buy a nice sports car - if there was a purple one sporting "SS Stinks" on the side.

Up flashed: You have forty new email messages.

Harry grinned evilly and opened one. Another email from someone across the world he'd been buying shares off. From the increase he could see, he was about to get rich. If only he could somehow transfer it into an account of his own.

Again came a pop up - this time someone was talking to him.

Harry quickly replied, a little bewildered. 

It was only one message and MSN informed Harry coolly above that "sassy gal" was offline. He had no idea who was but by the looks of it, someone he'd seen at least once at school, maybe. The message read in bright orange text...

All you ever needed to buy online. Transactions over the Internet!

Hm. Interesting. Harry clicked it without hesitation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sample of what he saw...

WIZARD BUYS! BUY OR DIE!
Check out these weird muggle boxes - when you plug it into a hole in the wall, moving pictures go across it. AMAZING!

But wait! There's more! Join up today and receive FREE discounts. FREE DISCOUNTS. Give us your name, Gringotts number or simply use a Muggle...plastic thingy over the net. Just point the wand and say "I accept!"

Not got what you're looking for? We can MAKE it.*

REQUEST:___________

*Large additional cost included.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry stared at the site for a very long time, trying to decide if he was reading it right. He knew by now that the moving pictures dotted across the webpage weren't done by magic. He had made the mistake of asking a person using Yahoo if they were a wizard, just because a dancing peace sign accompaning the site. Thankfully, the man had been a hippie and thought Harry was proclaiming rights and peace for wizards...for a moment he was distracted by pawprints drawing themselves across the blackness of his browser. 

So what was he looking for? A sports car defaming Professor Snape? He looked off to the spider sitting on his mouse pad. This was not a real one - Harry had snapped this mouse for his computer of a site through Google. It was fury and when you clicked, it wriggled its legs and shuffled around a bit. Then suddenly, it hit Harry like a wand.

He typed his request, his "name" - (Scarface) - and waved his uncle's credit card across the screen.

Three hour delivery time anywhere in the world, the flashing banner told Harry. In small print beneath it was written: half an hour delivery time for D.E. and Y.K.W.

It then directed Harry to lists and lists and lists and...you get the gist...of items for sale. There was also another link down the very bottom in purple, almost lost against the black. Harry squinted against it and finally made it out by accidentally highlighting the whole page.

Need help getting a bank account Underage Wizards? No problem. Click the link and you should get us...

Harry looked carefully at this, then said to himself, "Why the hell not?"

He clicked it and the mouse started its shuffle. Harry didn't notice because someone had just appeared in the cupboard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who are you?" demanded Harry.

The slight wizard grinned at him.

"Why, I'm part of Underage Wizard Help," the dwarf of a man replied. "You need to get a bank account?"

Harry Scarface Potter grinned evilly.