Not Another Chair Story
Story 6 - A Lousy Can of Raid Pt 2
Written 2009-present.
At first, Zelenka did not mind the company. Seated at his laptop, keeping the screen as a shield in front of him, he barely had to peek over the edge at the cot. Nodding absently and forgetting altogether of this particular duty, he soon hunched over and began flicking his fingers over the keys.
Then he looked back over.
Meredith was gone.
Swearing loudly in his native tongue, Radek swung his chair so hard on its wheels that it nearly sent him flying. He caught the edge of the lab bench to slow himself down. A few commands at the Ancient screen there revealed that his chess program was still running...all pieces lined up and accounted for. White and black, all with their little pawns.
As he watched, the screen shivered and went dark. A line of blue English text filtered across the screen in DOS style.
shall we play a game?
A cold lump formed at the back of his throat and Zelenka swallowed it.
"As long as we are not playing Global Thermonuclear War," he told the screen.
The chess board reappeared, and one white pawn glided two spaces forward. Shrugging, Radek pulled out the hooked-up keyboard and typed in a command for an opposing pawn to march out to meet hers in battle.
What sounded like a child's giggle petered through the sound system of the lab.
Zelenka bravely ignored it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Rodney McKay had finished outlining the finer details of some sort of plan to increase ZPM efficiency, which he was entirely sure that Nena would never have thought of, and even added in a few ideas of where to find more ZPMs, the atmosphere of Elizabeth Weir's office resembled a fifth grade classroom.
Lulled into an agreeable stupor, Halling and Bates had been discreetly inching their chairs towards the door. Elizabeth blinked when Rodney's voice stopped, noticing that his expectant expression was aimed at her. Looking down and finding that she had folded several aeroplanes out of someone's report, she flattened the offending items and shoved them onto the desk behind her.
"I'm sure that Nena would have considered rerouting the secondary conduits, Rodney," she started slowly, as the room came back into focus. "But I think she would have realised that we need showers once in a while. Those are on the secondary loop, aren't they?"
"Yes, but in case the Wraith decide to find and attack us yet again - which is a high possibility given that oh we're still alive - "
"I see your point. Gentlemen!" Elizabeth let that last word fly at Bates and Halling, who had made it closer to the door than she'd have thought possible. "What do you think? Showers or a greater chance of a shield?"
"With respect, m'am, isn't that your decision?" Bates asked.
"I agree," Halling said. "We cannot make that decision."
Elizabeth nodded. "The final word is mine, yes. But I'm glad I've found something you can both agree on!"
The identical slack jaws and horrified expressions made it all worth it. Teyla broke the moment by bringing in some coffee, which Rodney pounced on. While the others were busy with this, Elizabeth walked around to sit in her chair and rest her chin in her hand. She smiled when Bates gruffly offered to refill Halling's mug. Some victories...were won in small rooms with only words for weapons.
"Dr Weir," the headset on her desk warbled.
Elizabeth set it back on her ear. "Yes, John?"
"Do you think Halling would mind if I took the kids back early? And can you page Ronon to the 'Jumper bay? I'm going to need him as...back up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Check mate?"
Zelenka frowned closely at the screen. And so it was. He'd just lost a game of chess to a baby! Rodney would never let him hear the end of it. Rodney didn't have to know...so this was okay. But only just.
"Alright, you win," he conceded. "Now can you reappear huh?"
The computer blatted at him loudly. Radek stretched his arms, rolled his wrists and extended his fingers over the keys. His glasses slipped down his nose as he struggled to combat the tricky turns that Meredith was programming into his path. He grinned maniacally as he found a gap and struck - and nearly jumped out of his chair when she abruptly appeared, sitting up in his lap.
Despite himself, Zelenka couldn't look away from such a sweet smile. He tickled her feet for a some time, to her delight, until she suddenly starting trying to escape his lap.
Shaky lines of letters and other odd symbols flashed over the screen in front of him, until the words became clear.
"You know who it is?" Radek breathed, daring to believe that the identity of his nemesis was a few clicks away.
Meredith beamed and a chessboard dashed across the screen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kate thought that some improvement had presented itself. Nena was finally sitting beside her husband, having been coaxed by his gentle lilt and an assurance that he understood her completely. Kate doubted that, and worried for the safety of not only herself but every other person in the city right that moment. The slight ominous rumble through the floor when Nena glared at her might have contributed to that feeling.
"The Ancients would have me deprogrammed the moment they found me with Carson," Nena explained flatly. "They would destroy both my husband and my child."
"This still worries you?" Kate prompted carefully. "The Ancients are gone."
Nena glanced sideways to her husband and wondered, "I did not think it possible to love a human."
"Is it possible?"
"How can you ask that of me?" Nena demanded. "I love Carson! He doesn't care if I look like this, or if he has to interface with the chair. In fact, I think he likes the sensations in the chair better."
Carson's face took on a red tinge. "Uh, Nena, do ye think..."
"You look embarrassed, Carson," Kate noted.
"See, this is the problem! He is happy enough to say he is married to me, but when it comes to sex, he refuses to accept me!"
The CMO of Atlantis did his very best to be absorbed into the seat beneath him without actually resorting to his powers. Nena shifted a couple of inches away from him and spitted her best evil frown of doom across the distance, though the corner of her lips crinkled just so. Watching this for a few seconds, Kate said, "Your friends don't judge you, and you said you're comfortable discussing these things with them. Why does it matter what I think, or what the IOA thinks?"
"I'm still jus' a bit scared of ye, love," Carson murmured, reaching for Nena's hand.
She snapped back to the side of the chair and nearly fell off. "Maybe I'm sick of you thinking that! I'm better now, you know that. Elizabeth and I came to an agreement. I will never hurt any of the humans and I will never hurt you or Meredith. I love you!"
Carson leaned over and pulled her back to him. He kissed her firmly before murmuring into her ear, "I know that, ye daft woman."
"I think I have all I need," Kate said quickly. "And I was serious what I mentioned couples counselling…"
Nena waved her off. "Excuse me, Dr Heightmeyer, but we must leave. I think this naughty boy needs to sit in the chair."
"Nena!"
Kate stared through them as they vanished into mid air. She waited momentarily, then laughed. Her hand quickly jumped up to cover her mouth as she remembered that their awareness was everywhere.
She wondered who the crazy one really was, because this was starting to make sense to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I thought you said this was the way to the village," John said as he stopped abruptly on a small grassy knoll near the 'Jumper.
Jinto's forehead creased, making him look as old and worried as Halling. He bit his lip. "I...must have mixed up some of the landmarks. My father said it was a large gorash tree, with lots of grass around…but now that I think about it, I wasn't really listening."
"Can't be too hard to find any sign of life," Ronon supplied, drawing his weapon and inspecting it casually.
"Why do you say that?" John asked his team mate.
Ronon indicated the top of the tree line with his firearm. "Smoke. Someone's cooking."
"I'm so hungry!" Wex exclaimed.
"I hope that means all of Colonel Sheppard's chocolate is still on you," Jinto grumbled.
"...I'm not an adult yet so I need lots of food to grow!"
"You ate it all? And you're hungry?"
John pressed two knuckles over the edge of his sunglasses. He knew it had been a bad idea to give them more chocolate. After a moment, he opened his fingers to hook under the bridge of the shades before snapping them closed and into his pocket with one smooth gesture. Jinto and Wex gawped at him. Their attention thusly occupied, he said, "Okay, enough of that. We'll stop and ask for directions, then we'll take you back to your village. And then Ronon will give you some more chocolate."
Two pairs of hopeful eyes fixed on Ronon, who shrugged. "Yeah. More chocolate."
The boys started racing into the trees. John jogged after them, increasing his pace when he heard the fast crunch-crunch of an approaching Satedan. Ronon kept up with ease as he asked, "What's chocolate?"
"Brown stuff, gets gooey in the sun," John said briefly. "You'll love it."
"Most brown things left in the sun stink worse than death," Ronon reflected.
"Remind me to give you some when we get back."
"I'll pass."
Thick stumps and towering trees blocked any straight path, but finally the density of the forest lightened enough to create a tiny clearing. Leaf litter had been swept aside to give the smoking fire a wide berth. Steam trickled into the air over a calm surface of thick liquid filling the pot over the fire. Already Jinto and Wex were closely inspecting it.
Looking around at the deserted foliage, John muttered, "This is a bad sign."
"At least there's food," Ronon said.
The Satedan dropped to a squat, snatched a discarded bowl from the ground and shovelled it into the soup. This was encouragement enough for growing boys.
"Hey, tuttleroot soup!" Jinto inhaled deeply. "Wex, pass me that bowl."
John brushed a palm over his face. "Wait, are you seriously going to sit there eating? Whoever cooked this is either waiting to spring an ambush, or something really bad happened to them. I don't exactly want to hang around and find out which situation we're dealing with."
"Either way, this food's just going to go to waste," Ronon pointed out.
Jinto's face reappeared as he lowered his bowl. He grinned around his frothy moustache. "It's good! Wex, pass me the bread."
"Just because you're older than me doesn't mean you can boss me around."
"But you're the closest to the bread!"
It wasn't quite a rustle that reached John's ear, or perhaps any sound at all, but it was as though little legs had started brushing up and down his neck. Sheppard scanned the gaps through the trees, slapping behind his head to rid himself of the sensation. It remained. He coughed. "Boys, keep quiet for a moment, okay? Ronon - keep an eye out. I'll scout the perimeter."
Ronon swallowed a particularly large gulp of soup before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Suit yourself."
Delving into the woods, John left behind loud chattering for the encasing silence of an alien world. Not that it was particularly weird or anything - in fact, it reminded John a little of camping trip he'd done in Canada once. The buzzing unease creeping as his skull faded away, much to his relief, but there was something hard to watch in the way the light shifted through disturbed leaves. Maybe it was all in his head. He'd been kind of stressed lately what with...
"Sheppard!"
John bolted back at the sound of his team mate's voice. When the clearing came back into view, he saw the pot upturned and Ronon blasting away at the ground. The Satedan kept wrestling Jinto or Wex back behind him whenever a curious head popped out. John skidded to a stop half a pace behind Ronon and swung out his P90.
"I knew it, I knew it was too quiet," John hissed. "What's up?"
"Bugs," was the terse explanation.
Bullets peppered the ground as John added to the firepower, barely missing what looked like to be a bunch of grass-coloured spiders the size of his own gun. He gritted his teeth. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Colonel Sheppard, Colonel Sheppard!" Jinto shook his shoulder. "Do you have the present we gave you?"
John didn't even turn around. "Uh, yes actually. It's back at the 'Jumper but I'm a little busy right now!"
He felt a short whisk of air pass behind him but didn't think much of it at first. Retreating back a few steps with Ronon as the spiders advanced, John flicked a look back and saw only Wex shouting into the forest, "Jinto! Don't leave me here!"
An echo ghosted through the trees. "You're big enough to look after yourself!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zelenka woke up, and regretted it almost immediately. For that first second or two, he actually felt quite good. Then his neck twinged and a hand passed in front of his face. Disorientated though he was, that didn't quite explain why the fingers didn't wriggle when he told them to. He jerked up and pulled his glasses harder back on his face.
"Hullo, Radek, are we interrupting ye?" Carson asked.
The scientist whisked around in panic, before seeing Nena retrieve Meredith from the cot.
"How did - I didn't - we were both sleeping?" Zelenka said uncertainly.
Beckett chuckled. "Consider yerself lucky, Radek. I think my daughter likes ye enough not to do anything more than sleep."
"We played chess…" Zelenka added vaguely. "I am sure I won two of three games and the subroutine was still intact, so...perhaps it was less liking me and more unable to leave the room, no?"
Nena walked over, her daughter's head draped over her shoulder and fast asleep. The entity smiled at the still rather befuddled Radek. "It would probably just slow her down - she's always growing and learning new things."
"She said - yes, look at this - she said 'shall we play a game'."
Zelenka touched the screen and brought up the wording. Both Mr and Mrs Beckett leaned forward to view it. Carson looked dubious. "I donae think so. She only knows a few words, but it does look a wee bit familiar. Is it from a movie?"
"How should I know, Carson?" Zelenka asked moodily. "Oh - how was the, uh, time with Heightmeyer?"
"We'll know soon enough," the king of Atlantis said gloomily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tree - dart to the side. Tree - leap over a large mouldy root. TREE. Two minutes into running backwards and failing to access any sixth sense or eco-locator should have meant a painful body slam into the forest. Sheer will and the refusal to put up with any more spiders kept John Sheppard afloat over many obstacles.
Ronon had swung Wex over his shoulder and sprinted ahead. John caught up and was about to ask why his team mate had stopped, then he saw the mound of bright green disintegrating into many little mounds. With legs. Four on edge side. And pincers.
Spraying the ground with yet more bullets and somehow missing every. single. TIME, John decided that the spiders were too smart for their own good. They seemed to sense wherever he wanted to pelt next.
"The US military sends us here with millions of dollars of weaponry," John snapped over the pit-pit-pit of his weapon, "but I'd trade every last P90 for a lousy can of Raid right about now!"
One of his bullets struck the shell of one and bounced right into a tree, leaving a scorch mark. Ronon managed to blast one spider into a green splatter before saying rather blandly, "Would you settle for some rock salt?"
John spotted Jinto a moment later as the Athosian raced towards them, holding high his prize.
"Jinto, give me the bag!" John ordered.
The bag of salt was tossed too short, falling into the hands of Wex. The boy stared at the gift rocking between his palms, mesmerised for several seconds. He tore off the leather tie, seized a fistful of white crystals and sprayed the nearest clump. A high-pitched shriek shattered through the air and several spiders wheeled around and hurried away. Wex began shaking the bag around in a circle, until all of the green monsters had disappeared into the dull hues of the forest, like no bright green thing should.
Wex brushed grains of salt off his fingers into the bag that still had a decent level remaining. He grinned and tucked it under his hide belt. Once he looked up, he finally took in the strange looks he was getting. Wex hummed the first few bars of a traditional tune from the village nonchalantly.
"Not bad," Ronon said and holstered his weapon.
"Not bad?" John repeated, astounded. "He managed to drive off the bugs, which I notice you didn't."
"Neither did you."
John retrieved his sunglasses and hid his eyes quickly. "Let's not write any reports about this one, huh?"
"There's a reason I don't write any," Ronon told him with a smirk.
"I figured. Jinto, about these bugs…"
Jinto scratched the back of his neck. "They have a nasty bite but they're not venomous."
A dull flare of pain spread behind John's forehead. He waved back behind him, indicating the clearing they had left. "So what happened to the people who cooked this up?"
"They were probably trying to find some salt," Jinto replied, casting his eyes to the ground. "We kind of…"
"Jinto, we shouldn't tell anyone!" Wex insisted.
"We're adults now, Wex. We need to take responsibility. We kind of took their salt because we thought you needed it more, so that's why they're not here. They're looking for more, maybe."
"And the gorash tree…" John trailed off.
Jinto's chin lifted and he nodded proudly. "It was the right one, I'm sure of that now. We took a wrong turn out of your flying ship though."
Flicking the safety on, and tucking the P90 against him, John kept quiet. He began the trudge back to the landmark tree, arms stiff at his sides. Once he reached the clearing, he turned around and waited for the boys to close in, with Ronon bringing up the rear. John backhanded the air with one hand, saying, "Ronon, would you be so kind to return our young friends to the village? And take the rest of the salt."
"How about you take them?" Ronon suggested, grinning.
John glared back. "Let's face it, they'll take one look at you and not ask questions."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The back door of the 'Jumper lowered, revealing at first wall, more wall and then Halling. John's hand fell from the switch at the back of the craft that had opened the door. Instantly exposed, he forced his lips to curve upwards in the hopes that he wouldn't betray any of time he'd spent being chased by spiders.
Halling apparently didn't spot any of this, thank God, and merely said, "I hope my son and his friend did not try your temper too much. They can be...a bit much to handle."
"No, no," John assured him. "Actually...they were kind of fun."
Ronon snorted.
"Will you be taking me back to the mainland?" Halling asked. "You could join us for our evening meal. Jinto would be happy, I know."
Escaping the 'Jumper at a moderate jog, Sheppard spotted Elizabeth and Rodney in discussion not too far off. John very loudly announced to the echoes of the bay, "You should take McKay. He hasn't had much time out of the city lately. He'd love to take you along."
Rodney's eyes swivelled to John. "What?"
"Wouldn't you, Rodney?" John wheedled, almost reaching the desperate act of begging.
His team mate crossed his arms and defiantly stood still. Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder possibly a bit hard, because he dropped his arms and grumbled, "I - I - when do we leave?"
Luckily Bates new attitude had now extended to Halling, so he offered to act as a buffer between Athosian and astrophysicist. Once the 'Jumper had risen skyward, Elizabeth turned to Ronon and John.
"Was it really that bad?" she asked.
Ronon answered that. "I don't think he wants to talk about it."
"Will you talk about it then?"
"No," Ronon deadpanned. "But I will say it's kind of bugging him."
"RONON!" John growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You two look shifty," Grodin observed from his place at the console.
Standing together and holding hands, Nena and Carson had pretty much kept that position for a full ten minutes. The CMO admitted anxiously, "Och, well we are waiting to hear anything about Dr Heightmeyer's decision."
Peter tapped his chin with two fingers. "Can't you just...listen in?"
"Aye, if we wanted to disrespect Elizabeth. She required...a wee bit of privacy and ye can't blame her."
"You think I'm going to let a bunch of humans decide our fate without my knowing it?" Nena demanded, eyes distant.
"Love...yer not are ye…"
Grodin muffled a chuckle into the control panel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women capable of vastly influencing the reputations and orders of those in Atlantis sat in a room together. Such a thing had happened before, and probably would again, but Elizabeth felt a sense of urgency. She'd slipped to the edge of her chair, though kept her spine straight enough to hide the distance between her back and the hard plastic behind her. It was strange to her - a year ago, the very thought of a sentient city would have concerned her.
Well, it still concerned her. But she was concerned for said sentience, as well as the friend and confidant she had in her Chief Medical Officer.
"Let me hear it," Elizabeth instructed.
Kate Heightmeyer leaned over to rest her elbows on her knees, hands limply connected in front of her. "I only have to tell the IOA two things. Firstly, I am going to officially report to anyone interested that Dr Beckett is fit for duty. And secondly, neither he nor his wife pose any threat - physically or otherwise - to the running of this expedition or its people."
Elizabeth unwound her tensed ankles from the legs of her chair. She nodded slowly. "I'm glad to hear that. Thank you, Kate."
"Uh, Elizabeth - if I could just suggest…I think you should let me see them as a couple for counselling - "
The floor beneath their feet burred hard enough to shake loose an ornament or two from their positions on the table running along the wall.
"It's, uh, not all that necessary," Kate amended and left with haste.
Elizabeth sat back in her chair and contemplated the view of a busy control room. Her eyes found a couple of people adding to the usual traffic jams.
"Nena, as I'm sure you're listening," she addressed the wall, "could you please relay the good news to Carson?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men sat in a room, lit only by the aqua glow of computer screens and the occasional red flash from the underside of a mouse. They were about to uncover a plot, and hatch another.
"I know who it is," Major Evan Lorne baited.
Zelenka paused. "Who?"
"Lieutenant Cadman. And I have proof."
"Oh yes?" Radek snorted. "Better proof than when you last challenged her?"
"Come on, Zelenka, I thought you'd want to hear this."
"I do!"
The blue tint bathing Evan Lorne's face faded as he turned his back on the screens, instead turning himself into an indistinct silhouette. "Well my intel is good. I got this strange message on my bedroom wall telling me to look in some storage room out on the West pier. Okay, so it was more like a big map or something with a flashing dot but that's not the point. I sent one of my moles to check it out - and they bought a case of beer off her."
Skipping past the fact that a baby had helped them out, the scientist went straight to wild anger at the final realisation of his nemesis' identity.
"D'áblice!" snapped Zelenka.
Then he looked back over.
Meredith was gone.
Swearing loudly in his native tongue, Radek swung his chair so hard on its wheels that it nearly sent him flying. He caught the edge of the lab bench to slow himself down. A few commands at the Ancient screen there revealed that his chess program was still running...all pieces lined up and accounted for. White and black, all with their little pawns.
As he watched, the screen shivered and went dark. A line of blue English text filtered across the screen in DOS style.
shall we play a game?
A cold lump formed at the back of his throat and Zelenka swallowed it.
"As long as we are not playing Global Thermonuclear War," he told the screen.
The chess board reappeared, and one white pawn glided two spaces forward. Shrugging, Radek pulled out the hooked-up keyboard and typed in a command for an opposing pawn to march out to meet hers in battle.
What sounded like a child's giggle petered through the sound system of the lab.
Zelenka bravely ignored it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Rodney McKay had finished outlining the finer details of some sort of plan to increase ZPM efficiency, which he was entirely sure that Nena would never have thought of, and even added in a few ideas of where to find more ZPMs, the atmosphere of Elizabeth Weir's office resembled a fifth grade classroom.
Lulled into an agreeable stupor, Halling and Bates had been discreetly inching their chairs towards the door. Elizabeth blinked when Rodney's voice stopped, noticing that his expectant expression was aimed at her. Looking down and finding that she had folded several aeroplanes out of someone's report, she flattened the offending items and shoved them onto the desk behind her.
"I'm sure that Nena would have considered rerouting the secondary conduits, Rodney," she started slowly, as the room came back into focus. "But I think she would have realised that we need showers once in a while. Those are on the secondary loop, aren't they?"
"Yes, but in case the Wraith decide to find and attack us yet again - which is a high possibility given that oh we're still alive - "
"I see your point. Gentlemen!" Elizabeth let that last word fly at Bates and Halling, who had made it closer to the door than she'd have thought possible. "What do you think? Showers or a greater chance of a shield?"
"With respect, m'am, isn't that your decision?" Bates asked.
"I agree," Halling said. "We cannot make that decision."
Elizabeth nodded. "The final word is mine, yes. But I'm glad I've found something you can both agree on!"
The identical slack jaws and horrified expressions made it all worth it. Teyla broke the moment by bringing in some coffee, which Rodney pounced on. While the others were busy with this, Elizabeth walked around to sit in her chair and rest her chin in her hand. She smiled when Bates gruffly offered to refill Halling's mug. Some victories...were won in small rooms with only words for weapons.
"Dr Weir," the headset on her desk warbled.
Elizabeth set it back on her ear. "Yes, John?"
"Do you think Halling would mind if I took the kids back early? And can you page Ronon to the 'Jumper bay? I'm going to need him as...back up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Check mate?"
Zelenka frowned closely at the screen. And so it was. He'd just lost a game of chess to a baby! Rodney would never let him hear the end of it. Rodney didn't have to know...so this was okay. But only just.
"Alright, you win," he conceded. "Now can you reappear huh?"
The computer blatted at him loudly. Radek stretched his arms, rolled his wrists and extended his fingers over the keys. His glasses slipped down his nose as he struggled to combat the tricky turns that Meredith was programming into his path. He grinned maniacally as he found a gap and struck - and nearly jumped out of his chair when she abruptly appeared, sitting up in his lap.
Despite himself, Zelenka couldn't look away from such a sweet smile. He tickled her feet for a some time, to her delight, until she suddenly starting trying to escape his lap.
Shaky lines of letters and other odd symbols flashed over the screen in front of him, until the words became clear.
"You know who it is?" Radek breathed, daring to believe that the identity of his nemesis was a few clicks away.
Meredith beamed and a chessboard dashed across the screen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kate thought that some improvement had presented itself. Nena was finally sitting beside her husband, having been coaxed by his gentle lilt and an assurance that he understood her completely. Kate doubted that, and worried for the safety of not only herself but every other person in the city right that moment. The slight ominous rumble through the floor when Nena glared at her might have contributed to that feeling.
"The Ancients would have me deprogrammed the moment they found me with Carson," Nena explained flatly. "They would destroy both my husband and my child."
"This still worries you?" Kate prompted carefully. "The Ancients are gone."
Nena glanced sideways to her husband and wondered, "I did not think it possible to love a human."
"Is it possible?"
"How can you ask that of me?" Nena demanded. "I love Carson! He doesn't care if I look like this, or if he has to interface with the chair. In fact, I think he likes the sensations in the chair better."
Carson's face took on a red tinge. "Uh, Nena, do ye think..."
"You look embarrassed, Carson," Kate noted.
"See, this is the problem! He is happy enough to say he is married to me, but when it comes to sex, he refuses to accept me!"
The CMO of Atlantis did his very best to be absorbed into the seat beneath him without actually resorting to his powers. Nena shifted a couple of inches away from him and spitted her best evil frown of doom across the distance, though the corner of her lips crinkled just so. Watching this for a few seconds, Kate said, "Your friends don't judge you, and you said you're comfortable discussing these things with them. Why does it matter what I think, or what the IOA thinks?"
"I'm still jus' a bit scared of ye, love," Carson murmured, reaching for Nena's hand.
She snapped back to the side of the chair and nearly fell off. "Maybe I'm sick of you thinking that! I'm better now, you know that. Elizabeth and I came to an agreement. I will never hurt any of the humans and I will never hurt you or Meredith. I love you!"
Carson leaned over and pulled her back to him. He kissed her firmly before murmuring into her ear, "I know that, ye daft woman."
"I think I have all I need," Kate said quickly. "And I was serious what I mentioned couples counselling…"
Nena waved her off. "Excuse me, Dr Heightmeyer, but we must leave. I think this naughty boy needs to sit in the chair."
"Nena!"
Kate stared through them as they vanished into mid air. She waited momentarily, then laughed. Her hand quickly jumped up to cover her mouth as she remembered that their awareness was everywhere.
She wondered who the crazy one really was, because this was starting to make sense to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I thought you said this was the way to the village," John said as he stopped abruptly on a small grassy knoll near the 'Jumper.
Jinto's forehead creased, making him look as old and worried as Halling. He bit his lip. "I...must have mixed up some of the landmarks. My father said it was a large gorash tree, with lots of grass around…but now that I think about it, I wasn't really listening."
"Can't be too hard to find any sign of life," Ronon supplied, drawing his weapon and inspecting it casually.
"Why do you say that?" John asked his team mate.
Ronon indicated the top of the tree line with his firearm. "Smoke. Someone's cooking."
"I'm so hungry!" Wex exclaimed.
"I hope that means all of Colonel Sheppard's chocolate is still on you," Jinto grumbled.
"...I'm not an adult yet so I need lots of food to grow!"
"You ate it all? And you're hungry?"
John pressed two knuckles over the edge of his sunglasses. He knew it had been a bad idea to give them more chocolate. After a moment, he opened his fingers to hook under the bridge of the shades before snapping them closed and into his pocket with one smooth gesture. Jinto and Wex gawped at him. Their attention thusly occupied, he said, "Okay, enough of that. We'll stop and ask for directions, then we'll take you back to your village. And then Ronon will give you some more chocolate."
Two pairs of hopeful eyes fixed on Ronon, who shrugged. "Yeah. More chocolate."
The boys started racing into the trees. John jogged after them, increasing his pace when he heard the fast crunch-crunch of an approaching Satedan. Ronon kept up with ease as he asked, "What's chocolate?"
"Brown stuff, gets gooey in the sun," John said briefly. "You'll love it."
"Most brown things left in the sun stink worse than death," Ronon reflected.
"Remind me to give you some when we get back."
"I'll pass."
Thick stumps and towering trees blocked any straight path, but finally the density of the forest lightened enough to create a tiny clearing. Leaf litter had been swept aside to give the smoking fire a wide berth. Steam trickled into the air over a calm surface of thick liquid filling the pot over the fire. Already Jinto and Wex were closely inspecting it.
Looking around at the deserted foliage, John muttered, "This is a bad sign."
"At least there's food," Ronon said.
The Satedan dropped to a squat, snatched a discarded bowl from the ground and shovelled it into the soup. This was encouragement enough for growing boys.
"Hey, tuttleroot soup!" Jinto inhaled deeply. "Wex, pass me that bowl."
John brushed a palm over his face. "Wait, are you seriously going to sit there eating? Whoever cooked this is either waiting to spring an ambush, or something really bad happened to them. I don't exactly want to hang around and find out which situation we're dealing with."
"Either way, this food's just going to go to waste," Ronon pointed out.
Jinto's face reappeared as he lowered his bowl. He grinned around his frothy moustache. "It's good! Wex, pass me the bread."
"Just because you're older than me doesn't mean you can boss me around."
"But you're the closest to the bread!"
It wasn't quite a rustle that reached John's ear, or perhaps any sound at all, but it was as though little legs had started brushing up and down his neck. Sheppard scanned the gaps through the trees, slapping behind his head to rid himself of the sensation. It remained. He coughed. "Boys, keep quiet for a moment, okay? Ronon - keep an eye out. I'll scout the perimeter."
Ronon swallowed a particularly large gulp of soup before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Suit yourself."
Delving into the woods, John left behind loud chattering for the encasing silence of an alien world. Not that it was particularly weird or anything - in fact, it reminded John a little of camping trip he'd done in Canada once. The buzzing unease creeping as his skull faded away, much to his relief, but there was something hard to watch in the way the light shifted through disturbed leaves. Maybe it was all in his head. He'd been kind of stressed lately what with...
"Sheppard!"
John bolted back at the sound of his team mate's voice. When the clearing came back into view, he saw the pot upturned and Ronon blasting away at the ground. The Satedan kept wrestling Jinto or Wex back behind him whenever a curious head popped out. John skidded to a stop half a pace behind Ronon and swung out his P90.
"I knew it, I knew it was too quiet," John hissed. "What's up?"
"Bugs," was the terse explanation.
Bullets peppered the ground as John added to the firepower, barely missing what looked like to be a bunch of grass-coloured spiders the size of his own gun. He gritted his teeth. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Colonel Sheppard, Colonel Sheppard!" Jinto shook his shoulder. "Do you have the present we gave you?"
John didn't even turn around. "Uh, yes actually. It's back at the 'Jumper but I'm a little busy right now!"
He felt a short whisk of air pass behind him but didn't think much of it at first. Retreating back a few steps with Ronon as the spiders advanced, John flicked a look back and saw only Wex shouting into the forest, "Jinto! Don't leave me here!"
An echo ghosted through the trees. "You're big enough to look after yourself!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zelenka woke up, and regretted it almost immediately. For that first second or two, he actually felt quite good. Then his neck twinged and a hand passed in front of his face. Disorientated though he was, that didn't quite explain why the fingers didn't wriggle when he told them to. He jerked up and pulled his glasses harder back on his face.
"Hullo, Radek, are we interrupting ye?" Carson asked.
The scientist whisked around in panic, before seeing Nena retrieve Meredith from the cot.
"How did - I didn't - we were both sleeping?" Zelenka said uncertainly.
Beckett chuckled. "Consider yerself lucky, Radek. I think my daughter likes ye enough not to do anything more than sleep."
"We played chess…" Zelenka added vaguely. "I am sure I won two of three games and the subroutine was still intact, so...perhaps it was less liking me and more unable to leave the room, no?"
Nena walked over, her daughter's head draped over her shoulder and fast asleep. The entity smiled at the still rather befuddled Radek. "It would probably just slow her down - she's always growing and learning new things."
"She said - yes, look at this - she said 'shall we play a game'."
Zelenka touched the screen and brought up the wording. Both Mr and Mrs Beckett leaned forward to view it. Carson looked dubious. "I donae think so. She only knows a few words, but it does look a wee bit familiar. Is it from a movie?"
"How should I know, Carson?" Zelenka asked moodily. "Oh - how was the, uh, time with Heightmeyer?"
"We'll know soon enough," the king of Atlantis said gloomily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tree - dart to the side. Tree - leap over a large mouldy root. TREE. Two minutes into running backwards and failing to access any sixth sense or eco-locator should have meant a painful body slam into the forest. Sheer will and the refusal to put up with any more spiders kept John Sheppard afloat over many obstacles.
Ronon had swung Wex over his shoulder and sprinted ahead. John caught up and was about to ask why his team mate had stopped, then he saw the mound of bright green disintegrating into many little mounds. With legs. Four on edge side. And pincers.
Spraying the ground with yet more bullets and somehow missing every. single. TIME, John decided that the spiders were too smart for their own good. They seemed to sense wherever he wanted to pelt next.
"The US military sends us here with millions of dollars of weaponry," John snapped over the pit-pit-pit of his weapon, "but I'd trade every last P90 for a lousy can of Raid right about now!"
One of his bullets struck the shell of one and bounced right into a tree, leaving a scorch mark. Ronon managed to blast one spider into a green splatter before saying rather blandly, "Would you settle for some rock salt?"
John spotted Jinto a moment later as the Athosian raced towards them, holding high his prize.
"Jinto, give me the bag!" John ordered.
The bag of salt was tossed too short, falling into the hands of Wex. The boy stared at the gift rocking between his palms, mesmerised for several seconds. He tore off the leather tie, seized a fistful of white crystals and sprayed the nearest clump. A high-pitched shriek shattered through the air and several spiders wheeled around and hurried away. Wex began shaking the bag around in a circle, until all of the green monsters had disappeared into the dull hues of the forest, like no bright green thing should.
Wex brushed grains of salt off his fingers into the bag that still had a decent level remaining. He grinned and tucked it under his hide belt. Once he looked up, he finally took in the strange looks he was getting. Wex hummed the first few bars of a traditional tune from the village nonchalantly.
"Not bad," Ronon said and holstered his weapon.
"Not bad?" John repeated, astounded. "He managed to drive off the bugs, which I notice you didn't."
"Neither did you."
John retrieved his sunglasses and hid his eyes quickly. "Let's not write any reports about this one, huh?"
"There's a reason I don't write any," Ronon told him with a smirk.
"I figured. Jinto, about these bugs…"
Jinto scratched the back of his neck. "They have a nasty bite but they're not venomous."
A dull flare of pain spread behind John's forehead. He waved back behind him, indicating the clearing they had left. "So what happened to the people who cooked this up?"
"They were probably trying to find some salt," Jinto replied, casting his eyes to the ground. "We kind of…"
"Jinto, we shouldn't tell anyone!" Wex insisted.
"We're adults now, Wex. We need to take responsibility. We kind of took their salt because we thought you needed it more, so that's why they're not here. They're looking for more, maybe."
"And the gorash tree…" John trailed off.
Jinto's chin lifted and he nodded proudly. "It was the right one, I'm sure of that now. We took a wrong turn out of your flying ship though."
Flicking the safety on, and tucking the P90 against him, John kept quiet. He began the trudge back to the landmark tree, arms stiff at his sides. Once he reached the clearing, he turned around and waited for the boys to close in, with Ronon bringing up the rear. John backhanded the air with one hand, saying, "Ronon, would you be so kind to return our young friends to the village? And take the rest of the salt."
"How about you take them?" Ronon suggested, grinning.
John glared back. "Let's face it, they'll take one look at you and not ask questions."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The back door of the 'Jumper lowered, revealing at first wall, more wall and then Halling. John's hand fell from the switch at the back of the craft that had opened the door. Instantly exposed, he forced his lips to curve upwards in the hopes that he wouldn't betray any of time he'd spent being chased by spiders.
Halling apparently didn't spot any of this, thank God, and merely said, "I hope my son and his friend did not try your temper too much. They can be...a bit much to handle."
"No, no," John assured him. "Actually...they were kind of fun."
Ronon snorted.
"Will you be taking me back to the mainland?" Halling asked. "You could join us for our evening meal. Jinto would be happy, I know."
Escaping the 'Jumper at a moderate jog, Sheppard spotted Elizabeth and Rodney in discussion not too far off. John very loudly announced to the echoes of the bay, "You should take McKay. He hasn't had much time out of the city lately. He'd love to take you along."
Rodney's eyes swivelled to John. "What?"
"Wouldn't you, Rodney?" John wheedled, almost reaching the desperate act of begging.
His team mate crossed his arms and defiantly stood still. Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder possibly a bit hard, because he dropped his arms and grumbled, "I - I - when do we leave?"
Luckily Bates new attitude had now extended to Halling, so he offered to act as a buffer between Athosian and astrophysicist. Once the 'Jumper had risen skyward, Elizabeth turned to Ronon and John.
"Was it really that bad?" she asked.
Ronon answered that. "I don't think he wants to talk about it."
"Will you talk about it then?"
"No," Ronon deadpanned. "But I will say it's kind of bugging him."
"RONON!" John growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You two look shifty," Grodin observed from his place at the console.
Standing together and holding hands, Nena and Carson had pretty much kept that position for a full ten minutes. The CMO admitted anxiously, "Och, well we are waiting to hear anything about Dr Heightmeyer's decision."
Peter tapped his chin with two fingers. "Can't you just...listen in?"
"Aye, if we wanted to disrespect Elizabeth. She required...a wee bit of privacy and ye can't blame her."
"You think I'm going to let a bunch of humans decide our fate without my knowing it?" Nena demanded, eyes distant.
"Love...yer not are ye…"
Grodin muffled a chuckle into the control panel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women capable of vastly influencing the reputations and orders of those in Atlantis sat in a room together. Such a thing had happened before, and probably would again, but Elizabeth felt a sense of urgency. She'd slipped to the edge of her chair, though kept her spine straight enough to hide the distance between her back and the hard plastic behind her. It was strange to her - a year ago, the very thought of a sentient city would have concerned her.
Well, it still concerned her. But she was concerned for said sentience, as well as the friend and confidant she had in her Chief Medical Officer.
"Let me hear it," Elizabeth instructed.
Kate Heightmeyer leaned over to rest her elbows on her knees, hands limply connected in front of her. "I only have to tell the IOA two things. Firstly, I am going to officially report to anyone interested that Dr Beckett is fit for duty. And secondly, neither he nor his wife pose any threat - physically or otherwise - to the running of this expedition or its people."
Elizabeth unwound her tensed ankles from the legs of her chair. She nodded slowly. "I'm glad to hear that. Thank you, Kate."
"Uh, Elizabeth - if I could just suggest…I think you should let me see them as a couple for counselling - "
The floor beneath their feet burred hard enough to shake loose an ornament or two from their positions on the table running along the wall.
"It's, uh, not all that necessary," Kate amended and left with haste.
Elizabeth sat back in her chair and contemplated the view of a busy control room. Her eyes found a couple of people adding to the usual traffic jams.
"Nena, as I'm sure you're listening," she addressed the wall, "could you please relay the good news to Carson?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men sat in a room, lit only by the aqua glow of computer screens and the occasional red flash from the underside of a mouse. They were about to uncover a plot, and hatch another.
"I know who it is," Major Evan Lorne baited.
Zelenka paused. "Who?"
"Lieutenant Cadman. And I have proof."
"Oh yes?" Radek snorted. "Better proof than when you last challenged her?"
"Come on, Zelenka, I thought you'd want to hear this."
"I do!"
The blue tint bathing Evan Lorne's face faded as he turned his back on the screens, instead turning himself into an indistinct silhouette. "Well my intel is good. I got this strange message on my bedroom wall telling me to look in some storage room out on the West pier. Okay, so it was more like a big map or something with a flashing dot but that's not the point. I sent one of my moles to check it out - and they bought a case of beer off her."
Skipping past the fact that a baby had helped them out, the scientist went straight to wild anger at the final realisation of his nemesis' identity.
"D'áblice!" snapped Zelenka.